TPP 040b: Margaret Webb on What To Do When Grandparents or Extended Family Don't Understand our Child
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
42 min
2 speakers
7 chapters
transcribed just now
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What challenges do parents face when grandparents don’t understand their differently‑wired child?
Hey, it's Debbie. For the month of December, Playback Friday episodes will be all about navigating family dynamics, partners, co-parents, grandparents, in-laws, and everyone in between. If this season tends to stir up old patterns or extra tension, these episodes will offer you grounding perspective and practical tools to help you move through it with more ease. Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber, and I'm excited to be bringing back to the show for the third time, parent coach, Margaret Webb. Today we're talking about family challenges, specifically how to navigate the dynamic with both close and extended family who may not be as tolerant or understanding of our differently wired kids or our reality in raising them as we would like.
So often holidays or big family events, weddings, graduations... They create situations where we're expected to spend lots of time with family, but it might not look the way we or they expect. So what do we do? What are our responsibilities? And how can we best prep for these situations? That's what we're going to dive into today. Thanks for being a part of our community. And now I'll get on with the show. If you're a regular listener to the podcast, you will already be very familiar with today's guest and you'll be excited to hear what goodness she has to share with us because today I'm bringing back to the show parent coach, nature-based coach and former teacher, Margaret Webb. Welcome back, Margaret.
Hello. I'm so excited to be back and excited about our conversation. Me too. Me too. So on past episodes, you and I have covered how parents can find more peace in parenting the child they didn't expect. We also talked about summer break survival strategies, and I will include the links to those episodes in the show notes because if you haven't heard them, definitely go back and check them out. But today, we are tackling a different and equally as important topic, and that is the challenges parents of differently wired kids face when navigating other familial relationships or maybe even close friendships that may not be, shall we say, super supportive of what's going on in our world. And I know that you, Margaret, tuned into my holiday survival plan webinar.
And this
was something
that came up from one of the participants, this idea that it can be really complicated, especially around what many people consider to be traditional family occasions like the holidays or, you know, Christmas or Thanksgiving in the US and to deal with being kind of forced to be together and While other family members, maybe our siblings or our brothers or sisters-in-law or their children or even maybe our own parents just don't get it. So is this a phenomenon or maybe dynamic would be a better word that you see a lot in your parent coaching practice?
Absolutely. It's one of the top things that comes up over and over again. with my clients. And it's something that they really struggle with. And they struggle with it emotionally, they struggle with, you know, struggle about thoughts about it. And so it really is something that is kind of, you know, top of the pyramid when it comes to things like this.
Wow, interesting. You know, I have to just disclaimer, I have a really small family. So I don't personally have experience with being in situations where, you know, cousins or aunts or uncles or nephews and nieces and all of that are being unsupportive or maybe even intolerant of the way that Asher is. I mean, I've certainly experienced that in other types of relationships, but not in close family. But I can imagine how painful and challenging it must be. So, you know, you said this is one of the top things that your clients are struggling with. What are the kinds of maybe you could share some scenarios with us that are the most common that these parents are dealing with?
As I was thinking about this, I think all parents can experience this sort of thing to some degree, particularly, you know, I was imagining scenarios of, you know, when you're, if you have a typical child and they misbehave, and then all of a sudden you become, you kind of feel like you're in this magnifying glass and other people are judging you and your parenting and how you're handling the situation and your child.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What challenges do parents face when grandparents don’t understand their differently‑wired child?
0:00–8:02
2
How can parents recognize and cope with the “shooting comments” and judgment from family?
8:02–15:24
3
What is “dysfunctional family bingo” and how does it help prepare for tough family events?
15:24–22:15
4
How should parents decide what responsibilities they have versus what to expect from relatives?
22:15–28:30
5
What proactive planning steps can parents take for food, seating, and sensory needs at gatherings?
28:30–35:09
6
How can deep‑breathing and self‑care reset a parent’s mindset during triggering moments?
35:09–40:01
7
When is it appropriate to set boundaries or walk away from an unsupportive family situation?
40:01–42:48
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids