TPP 051: Asher and Debbie Talk About Handling Parent-Child Conflict
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
26 min
1 speaker
7 chapters
transcribed 9 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What do Debbie and Asher say about having conflicts in their family?
No matter what happened, I couldn't ever let you see me sweat. I couldn't ever let you see me get upset. And that sounds stressful. Yeah, it was stressful because I was keeping so much inside, which is not healthy. And it doesn't really help you either because you were struggling with such intense anger and emotions. And then here I am acting like
everybody else was was like that. Exactly. Perfect.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber, and today's episode is a special kids POV episode with my 12-year-old child Asher. Today, Asher and I are going to talk about conflict. More specifically, conflict between the two of us. Because I've heard from listeners who want to know A, if we do have conflicts, and B, if so, how do we handle them? So the quick answer to that first part of the question is: yes, we definitely have conflict. I am very human in that way, as is Asher. So today we're going to talk about the things that do cross. up and cause conflict between us and then we'll share with you what that actually looks like, what I do, what he does, and most importantly how we move through and past it.
And we'll get right to that conversation after this quick break. Hey Asher Hello How are you today? Excellent. Good. Well, we are doing another Asher special podcast, as you know, and today we are gonna be talking about conflict. I've gotten this question from more than one person, people who are curious to know how we handle conflict. And that's assuming we have conflict. That's a big assumption, don't you think?
Yeah. Which we don't.
We
don't? Okay, we do.
I actually think it's funny because we tried to record this two days ago. And we had a conflict. We didn't have a big conflict, but it was not working. I think it was 'cause it was c towards the end of the day and you were just not very engaged and I was feeling a little stressed that we needed to get the podcast recorded. So it was a mini conflict. Did you remember how we handled that?
Uh by recording it today instead.
Yeah, so we decided to record it today instead. And yeah, it wasn't a big conflict. I was a little frustrated. But I think in that case I just said, Okay, we're not gonna do this now and I kind of just let it go and I went in my office and worked on something else and took a few breaths and that was kind of the end of it, right?
Yeah.
So before we get into the conversation about conflicts in terms of how we handle it in our relationship I'm curious to know what your opinion is about conflicts. Do you think that they're good? Do you think they're something that we should avoid? Like what do you think?
I think they're necessary. Without conflicts you'll never know how strong your relationship is.
How do they describe the kinds of situations that usually trigger a parent‑child conflict?
Okay. Can you say more about that? How does a how does a conflict give you that information?
Well if it tears your relationship apart, then obviously it wasn't strong enough.
Right. I can see that answer when it comes to friendships, right? That makes sense. But what about in a mother-son relationship? So I think the conflicts are just a normal part of any relationship. Yeah. I know that some people feel uncomfortable ab about conflicts or maybe kind of want to avoid them at all costs, but There certainly have been a part of our relationship and I do think that they have made us stronger working through some of our conflicts. Yeah. Tough mm. What are the kinds of things that we have conflicts about?
Well, sometimes when I miss dinner. Mm. Although that's usually my conflict with myself. It's true. Because I feel bad about missing dinner.
It used to be a bigger problem in that your dad and or I would get upset if you missed dinner, but now We're kind of reasonable. I get
upset with myself if I miss dinner.
Yeah. And you're usually harder on yourself than we are on you. Yeah. So well most listeners know that we are a homeschooling family. So you and I spend a lot of time together and of course we have conflicts.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What do Debbie and Asher say about having conflicts in their family?
0:00–3:07
2
How do they describe the kinds of situations that usually trigger a parent‑child conflict?
3:07–6:56
3
What happened during the “order of operations” math conflict and why was it so stressful?
6:56–11:59
4
How does Debbie handle her own anger and what does Asher notice when she gets upset?
11:59–14:52
5
What steps do they take to apologize and calm down after a conflict?
14:52–20:10
6
What is the proactive collaborative problem‑solving method they use to prevent future fights?
20:10–24:34
7
How do they turn conflict into a learning opportunity and strengthen their relationship?
24:34–25:59
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids