TPP 056a: Debbie and Her Husband Derin Talk About Parenting a Differently-Wired Child
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
54 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 14 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What motivated Debbie to revisit the conversation about parenting a neurodivergent child?
Hey there, it's Debbie. I've been getting a lot of questions lately about the challenges within couples when raising a neurodivergent child, and both partners aren't necessarily on the same page. So while the show was on a short production hiatus, I've decided to re-release a two-part conversation from the archives between my husband, Darren, and me about how we've navigated our partnership and our parenting journey together. Today is part one, tomorrow you can listen to part two. I
didn't get it. I didn't understand. I wanted him to be regulated. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted to be able to help. And that was the thing. That's the thing that I felt was so hard for me. I was completely powerless, or at least that's how I felt, to help either of you in this situation. I saw my family really not doing well. And I didn't know how. I just knew it wasn't working.
Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber, and today is a very special episode with a very special guest. That's right. Today, I am bringing my husband, Darren, onto the show for a super honest, super vulnerable conversation between the two of us about our journey as a couple navigating parenting a differently wired child. I've been wanting to do this episode for quite a while, and in fact, I get a lot of requests for an episode covering this very topic, so... We are finally doing it. And I will say that Darren was a little nervous to sit in the hot seat, but I'm really happy with how the episode turned out because I know that figuring out how to be a partner while raising an atypical kid can be incredibly challenging.
Because both people are going through their own individual process, but at the same time, it's so important for the child and for the survival of the family that the partners find a way to work with each other instead of against each other, which can so often be the default mode when we're stressed or tired or overwhelmed. I did want to mention here that if after listening to this episode you have further questions or topics you'd like Darren and I to tackle together regarding our co-parenting journey, please leave a comment on the show notes page, which you'll find at tiltparenting.com slash session56. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to convince Darren to come back on again. And I'd love to keep this conversation going and also just make sure that we're sharing the kinds of insights that might be truly helpful to you and your family.
And before I get to the episode, a quick invitation to take part in our free virtual differently wired seven day challenge on Tilt Parenting if you haven't already done so. More than 400 people have already participated in the challenge and I have gotten great feedback that it's helped people become more intentional and purposeful in their day-to-day actions and thoughts in relation to their child. And that as a result, the dynamic there has positively shifted, which is fantastic because that's exactly why I created it. Again, it's totally free and it's ongoing.
How did Darren first describe his role and challenges as a parent of Asher?
So if you want to give it a try, you can sign up at tiltparenting.com slash seven day. Thanks so much. And now without further ado, here's my conversation with Darren. Hello, Darren, and welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast.
Hi, Debbie. I've heard that message so many times. I'm really excited to do my first Tilt Parenting Podcast with you as your husband.
I'm excited to have you on the show as your wife. Do you want to take a minute? Because, you know, listeners have heard me now for more than a year slowly sharing my story. Mm-hmm. So they know who I am and you come up from time to time in podcasts, but do you want to just take a minute to just so people know who you are? Tell us a little bit about yourself.
They probably don't think I'm real, like a real person. I'm a real person. Yes, my name is Darren Basden. I am Debbie's husband of 18 wonderful years.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What motivated Debbie to revisit the conversation about parenting a neurodivergent child?
0:00–3:21
2
How did Darren first describe his role and challenges as a parent of Asher?
3:21–9:36
3
Why did both parents feel powerless and hopeless during Asher’s early years?
9:36–17:30
4
When and how did the family receive Asher’s diagnosis and what was the impact?
17:30–25:19
5
What were the biggest sources of tension between Debbie and Darren during the “mad‑monster” phase?
25:19–36:57
6
Which go‑to strategies do the parents use when Asher is in a dysregulated state?
36:57–47:27
7
How did the couple shift from conflict to mutual respect and collaborative parenting?
47:27–51:53
8
What final advice do Debbie and Darren give to other couples raising a differently‑wired child?
51:53–54:01
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids