TPP 106: Author and Parent Coach Julie King on Sibling Dynamics
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
44 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 21 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What inspired Julie King to focus on sibling dynamics in her parenting work?
So if we see it as a statement of needs and we're trying to figure out how to meet everybody's real needs, then we look for ways to to solve that as a problem rather than it's a c you know, a win lose competition and if I give you more then he gets less sort of thing.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reaver, and if you're the parent of more than one child, neurotypical or atypical, this is an episode you're definitely going to want to listen to. I get requests for topics from listeners all the time, which, by the way, is great. Please keep them coming. But one One of the most common requests is for an episode specifically on sibling relationships. So I found the perfect guest to talk about the sibling dynamic, parent educator Julie King. Julie co-authored the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, a survival guide for life with children ages two to seven, alongside Joanna Faber, and she leads dynamic lecture presentations for schools and other parent organizations.
Among the workshops she offers is one based on siblings without rivalry, and she brings to her work the perspective of having raised two differently wired and one neurotypical kids herself. I'm really excited to share this conversation with you and I hope to do more episodes on this topic. So here is my conversation with Julie. Hey Julie, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. It's nice to be here. Well, I'm looking forward to this conversation. This topic we're gonna go into today is something I've been getting requests for for a long time from my community and I think there's a lot to talk about, but I'm just looking forward to scratching the surface with you and getting a little deeper into this idea of siblings and
How complicated those relationships can be. But before we get into that, I always ask my guests to just introduce themselves, give us a little bit about your personal background, um, maybe your family makeup, and also I always like to know people's personal why for the work that they do.
Sure. Well, as you know, I wrote the book, How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, with my friend Joanna Faber. She and I met as babies. My family had just moved to the suburbs of New York, as had her family. Her mother was pushing her and her brother. up the street in the stroller and my mother saw them outside, literally went running outside and invited them in. and her mother Adele and my mother Pat became very good friends. And Joanna and I became good friends. Well, at that point we were just babies, but we went to nursery school together actually all the way through high school together. But while we were in nursery school, her mother took a parenting workshop with a child psychologist, Hiam Gannott.
And she and my mother would talk daily. about what she was learning. And they would experiment on Joanna and me and our siblings. So we were really guinea pigs for this whole approach. And after high school we kind of went our separate ways. She went to college. I I ended up going to law school and I practiced law briefly and decided that the way that lawyers approach conflict was really not consistent with sort of my orientation to problem solving and considering people's needs. And so when I uh uh sort of condensing my life story here for you I I married and my husband and I had three kids and I discovered first hand that It's kinda hard to do this all the time. This approach that I grew up with and I thought I knew.
was quite challenging. Um, when my firstborn Asher was a baby, I used helped form a mother's group. We used to get together every week. And I noticed that the other babies were starting to move around when he was just still sitting. But I read all those Books about child development that said babies develop at different rates. So I really wasn't worried. until when he was just over a year our pediatrician said, Okay, now it's time you have to go see a neurologist and the neurologist told me that Esher was quote unquote very developmentally delayed.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What inspired Julie King to focus on sibling dynamics in her parenting work?
0:00–6:01
2
How do differently‑wired siblings create unique challenges for families?
6:01–11:57
3
What strategies help parents reframe sibling conflict as a problem‑solving opportunity?
11:57–17:47
4
How can parents meet each child’s individual needs without creating feelings of unfairness?
17:47–22:16
5
What practical steps did Julie use to resolve the teasing conflict between Asher and Rashi?
22:16–27:52
6
How should parents address a child’s resentment toward a sibling with special needs?
27:52–32:59
7
What are effective ways to involve children in honest conversations about neuro‑differences?
32:59–37:30
8
What final tips does Julie give for sustaining harmony and teaching conflict‑resolution skills?
37:30–43:56
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids