TPP 122: Debbie and Her Husband Derin On How They Designed Their Alliance
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
39 min
1 speaker
5 chapters
transcribed 12 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What does Debbie introduce about the episode and Darren’s background?
Yeah, I really thought I could I could change him. For the better. And that actually backfired completely. A hundred percent backfired. He just became super annoyed with me every time I had a correction. And he and I actually I think I really hurt our relationship during that time. I think I really did. I um
Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber, and this week I'm bringing my husband Darren back to the show for the second time. I get a lot of questions from parents about how to get a partner more involved or engaged in what's happening with their differently wired kids. Many of these emails I get talk about partners who are kind of checked out or don't know how to relate to their kids or are reluctant to tap into resources the other parent has found so helpful, or they simply might not acknowledge that there is any sort of narrow difference that needs to be addressed.
So I asked Darren to come onto the show to see if he has any thoughts on how to address these concerns. As in our relationship, he was lagging behind a bit in many of these areas and for many years. By the way, I mentioned this is Darren's second appearance on the podcast. He came onto the show a few years ago for a very honest conversation about his journey to come to accept who Asher is. So if you haven't listened to that episode, yet and these are issues that are speaking to you, I definitely recommend you go back and have a listen to that episode too. It's episode 56 and you can find it at tillparenting.com slash session 56. And one other note before I move on. Darren and I do our best to not frame this conversation in a way that reinforces traditional gender roles and traditional family makeups.
I know we have many families in the Tilt community who are in same-sex relationships, or in cases where relationships are heteronormative, the father is the primary caregiver or homeschool parent or the one who is more engaged and in tune with the differently wired kids. I just want to acknowledge that upfront, just like our journeys with our kids, I recognize every family works differently. And with that being said, the vast majority of who I hear from regarding challenges surrounding getting a co-parent on board and designing that alliance is women who are struggling to get their husbands or ex-husbands on the same page. So, regardless of where you are in these complicated relationships, I hope that you find our conversation useful.
And before I get to the episode, if you haven't had a chance to check out my new book differently, And you want to see if it's for you, don't forget you can download the first chapter and table of contents at tiltparenting.com/slash book. And if you have read it already and like what you read, I would be grateful if you would consider leaving a review on Amazon or on Goodreads. More reviews means more visibility for the book, and I want to make sure the people who would benefit from its message can easily find it. So thank you so much for watching. for your help with that. And now here's my conversation with Darren. Hello, sweetie. Welcome to the podcast.
Hey baby, how you doing?
I'm good, thanks. Thanks for coming back on the podcast because I think as you know, you got a lot of emails from that first episode we did together. Yep. And there have been a lot of conversations that have come up during my book tour and in the book club and just in Facebook threads that I've participated in centered around how to get another parent on board or just on the same page and and all kinds of issues relating to there being a disconnect. And so I thought we would just talk and get a little more insight from your perspective. And also I want to talk about how you and Asher grew closer and you know what worked for you in terms of really building your bond with him. So are you up for all of that?
Yeah, absolutely. That sounds great.
Okay.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What does Debbie introduce about the episode and Darren’s background?
0:00–14:45
2
How did Darren describe his early attempts to “fix” Asher and why they backfired?
14:45–22:12
3
What realization helped Darren shift from correcting Asher to supporting him?
22:12–29:37
4
How did Debbie and Darren create a shared “triangle” of support for Asher?
29:37–34:56
5
What role did video‑game design and creative play have in strengthening their bond?
34:56–39:37
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids