TPP 122a: Debbie and Her Husband Derin On How They Designed Their Alliance

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What challenges do parents face when they’re not on the same page raising a neurodivergent child?

Unknown 0:00
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Debbie Reber 0:26
Hey there, it's Debbie. I've been getting a lot of questions lately about the challenges within couples when raising a neurodivergent child, and both partners aren't necessarily on the same page. So while the show was on a short production hiatus, I've decided to re-release a two-part conversation from the archives between my husband Darren and me about how we've navigated our partnership and our parenting journey together. I released part one yesterday and today you can listen to part two.
Darren 0:53
Yeah, I really thought I could I could change him. For the better. And that actually backfired completely. A hundred percent backfired. He just became super annoyed with me every time I had a correction. And he and I actually I think I really h hurt our relationship during that time. I really did. I um Wanna hang around with somebody who's always correcting them.
Debbie Reber 1:19
Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber, and this week I'm bringing my husband Darren back to the show for the second time. I get a lot of questions from parents about how to get a partner more involved or engaged in what's happening with their differently wired kids. Many of these emails I get talk about partners who are kind of checked out or don't know how to relate to their kids or are reluctant to tap into resources the other parent has found so helpful, or they simply might not acknowledge that there is any sort of narrow difference that needs to be addressed.
Debbie Reber 1:59
So I asked Darren to come onto the show to see if he has any thoughts on how to address these concerns, as in our relationship, he was lagging behind a bit in many of these areas and for many years. By the way, I mentioned this is Darren's second appearance on the podcast. He came onto the show a few years ago for a very honest conversation about his journey to come to accept who Asher is. So if you haven't listened to that episode, yet and these are issues that are speaking to you, I definitely recommend you go back and have a listen to that episode too. It's episode 56 and you can find it at Tilparenting.com slash session 56. And one other note before I move on. Darren and I do our best to not frame this conversation in a way that reinforces traditional gender roles and traditional family makeups.
Debbie Reber 2:48
I know we have many families in the Tilt community who are in same-sex relationships, or in cases where relationships are heteronormative, the father is the primary caregiver or homeschool parent or the one who is more engaged and in tune with the differently wired kids. So I do I just want to acknowledge that upfront, just like our journeys with our kids, I recognize every family works differently. And with that being said, the vast majority of who I hear from regarding challenges surrounding getting a co-parent on board and designing that alliance is women who are struggling to get their husbands or ex-husbands on the same page. So, regardless of where you are in these complicated relationships, I hope that you find our conversation useful.
Debbie Reber 3:30
And before I get to the episode, if you haven't had a chance to check out my new book, Differently Wired, and you want to see if it's for you, don't forget you can download the first chapter and table of contents at tiltparenting.com/slash book. And if you have read it already and like what you read, I would be grateful if you would consider leaving a review on Amazon or on Goodreads. More reviews means more visibility for the book, and I want to make sure that people People who would benefit from its message can easily find it.

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