TPP 124a: Seth Perler on How Parents Can Help Their Kids Work Through Resistance
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
1h 29m
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 7 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is resistance and how does it affect differently‑wired kids?
Hey there, it's Debbie. Today's episode is a special re-release of a favorite conversation from the archives. Unless you're a longtime listener of the show, there's a good chance you haven't heard this one before. And even if you have, you just might get something completely different from it this time around.
So our way of trying to motivate them often is not working. Yet, we continue to do these things as adults over and over and over, even though we see that it's not working, and then what we're doing is we're putting it on them. They must just not be trying hard enough, but they're just being willful.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber, and this week is another special episode with our favorite renegade teacher turned executive functioning coach and education coach, Seth Perler. If you heard last week's episode, you know that Seth and Asher sat down for a conversation about resistance in a show that was especially designed for kids. If you haven't listened to that yet, that's okay. You can listen to these two in any order. So this week, Seth and I are going to go much more in depth into the topic of resistance and explore what it looks like in our kids and why it comes up, why it can sometimes be a good thing.
and what it triggers in us as our kids' parents. And of course, as always, Seth brings on the strategies, and he's actually going to share nearly 30 strategies with us about how we can support our kids in working through their resistance. So with those 30 strategies, just a heads up, this is a long episode. In fact, I think it's the longest one we've ever done, but the content is just so good that I wanted to share it for all of you here in a way that you can digest it and it can become truly actionable. So a few suggestions. First, listen to this in chunks if you need to. So you can really let those strategies sink in and give yourself time to reflect on how the ideas relate to your family dynamic.
Secondly, Seth has generously created a page on his website just for Tilt listeners where he's including a PDF of all the strategies he shares today. So don't worry about taking notes unless that's your thing. You can find that page at sethperler.com slash tilt. And I'll also have a link to it on the show notes page for this episode. All right, so here is my conversation with Seth. Hey, Seth, welcome back to the podcast.
Hey.
Good morning. It's so good to be here. I'm excited.
I am excited for this too, because as we're recording this, the first part is about to come out, the first part of this, which for listeners aired last week. And I actually edited much of this episode myself, and it brought up so many questions for me. And actually, I just have to say, in hearing your conversation with Asher, which I just loved getting to listen in on that, but hearing it, I was like, wow, this kid really knows a lot about this stuff. And yet it doesn't necessarily translate to actually practical day-to-day life. So I'm super curious to hear you go through this for parents and also really learn how we can best support our kids and just recognize that this is a process, right? It's not something that we can, unfortunately, we can't snap our fingers and have everything change.
Yeah.
That's one of the points I want to address today. Yes, it's a process and it's a lot longer than you think it's going to be. So yes,
yes, I'm getting that sense. So I would love you to just start us with this conversation. I'm just super excited to translate this for parents.
Okay, awesome. Well, in this podcast, I really wanted to go into, it was intended for back to school, but you can listen to it anytime because It has to do with resistance. And there are so many back to school things. And I loved helping people get back to school in a great way. But I wanted to think of sort of a really powerful, creative way to approach back to school a little bit differently.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is resistance and how does it affect differently‑wired kids?
0:00–13:13
2
How does Seth define resistance and why is it important for children?
13:13–25:38
3
Why do common adult tactics like punishments, rewards, and lectures often fail?
25:38–35:53
4
How can parents increase a child’s ownership and buy‑in to reduce resistance?
35:53–47:15
5
What mindfulness techniques help kids recognize and quiet their inner critic?
47:15–57:24
6
What concrete tools (timers, task chunking, planning) help children start non‑preferred activities?
57:24–1:07:42
7
How do routines, habits, and self‑care create a supportive environment for overcoming resistance?
1:07:42–1:18:50
8
Where can parents find additional resources and support for helping their kids with resistance?
1:18:50–1:29:07
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids