TPP 150: Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright On Handling Common Parenting Dilemmas
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
43 min
3 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 5 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the purpose of the Tilt Parenting podcast and who are the guests on this episode?
having that mentality of my job is not to manipulate and shape behavior. My job is to go under the surface and understand and figure out what developmental skill my child's working on. How can I be their partner and and help them and s be there as their assistant to give them the little boost that they need at every level.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. My name is Debbie Reaver. I'm the host of the show. And this week I'm talking with two guests, Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright. They are psychotherapists, partners at The Happy Sleeper, and co-authors of the new book, Now Say. Read this, the right words to solve every parenting dilemma. Heather and Julie have a lot of ideas about how to handle difficult situations in a way that's respectful of the child and supports their social and emotional development. So today they're going to share some of these with us, including their ALP approach, stands for Attune, Limit, and Problem Solve, how we can move through situations involving big or physical behavior.
And things to consider regarding using rewards and punishments as tools for discipline. As I say at the end of the interview, I felt calmer just after having this conversation, so I hope it does the same for you. Thank you so much. And now here is my conversation with Heather and Julie. Hello, Heather and Julie, welcome to the podcast.
Hi.
So all right. So we're doing kind of a bi coastal record today, so which is always uh exciting. I hope it's sunny in Los Angeles uh area, by the way. Um before we get started, could you both take a moment just to introduce yourselves? And I'm also just curious how you came to collaborate together, how this um relationship as co authors and and working together started.
Okay, well I'm Julie Wright and um I'm a marriage and family therapist and um I live in New York City. And I have a a mommy me program, actually mommy and daddy and me program in Los Angeles that I continue to to run and um I do sleep consultation work and parent consult work here in New York City. And I'm from I'm from New York originally, so I've kind of come back home.
And I'm I'm Heather Turge and I'm here, as you said, on the sunny West Coast. And I'm actually from New York as well, but I'm out here. Um, Julie and I met through um the Mommy and Me program in Los Angeles, and we have worked with parents on sleep and also communication, setting limits with empathy for years now together and we wrote our first book, The Happy Sleeper, four years ago now. So see a lot of parents around sleep with baby to school age kids. And then more recently, our book Now Say This, which is the ALP model of communication. So a lot of our clients are also you know, parents struggling with difficult moments and behaviors and um family communication. So our practices are on both coasts, but we also work with parents all over the world, you know, via Skype and that kind of thing.
Awesome. Yeah. I wish the happy sleeper had been around when I was the parent of a young child because sleep was just, I mean, I just imagine your businesses must be booming. This is such an area of pain for so many parents.
Yeah, sleep is a real it's a it's a real dilemma and it's a real crisis moment for a lot of parents at different ages for different reasons. So yeah, it's a it's a satisfying line of work because it's very very fixable. Sleep is natural. So You know, babies want to sleep and kids want to sleep, so that's good.
That's a good start. Yeah. Um well That I feel like that's a whole other episode. So we might have to just bring you back on that to talk about sleep. If we have time at the end, we'll touch upon it. But what we were planning to talk about today is your new book you mentioned now, Say This, the Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma. It's a great title. I love the idea of giving parents specific language around how to handle situations because that's what we, you know, I think so many of us find ourselves in those deer and headlight moments.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the purpose of the Tilt Parenting podcast and who are the guests on this episode?
0:00–5:09
2
How did Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright start collaborating and what is the focus of their work?
5:09–12:04
3
What is the ALP communication model and how does it differ from traditional discipline approaches?
12:04–17:55
4
Why is the ‘Attune’ step the first and most important part of the ALP process?
17:55–23:07
5
How can parents effectively set limits (the ‘Limit’ step) without escalating a conflict?
23:07–28:20
6
What strategies do the authors recommend for the ‘Problem‑Solve’ step to engage a child’s creativity?
28:20–33:39
7
How should parents handle rewards, punishments, and the concept of ‘time‑out’ according to the authors?
33:39–38:47
8
What is the iceberg analogy and how can families use it to understand underlying causes of behavior?
38:47–43:10
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids