TPP 156: Eric Lanigan on How to Make Peace With Our Child's Video Gaming

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What is the purpose of “Making Peace with Gaming” and why did the host invite Eric?

Eric Lanigan 0:00
And not all gamers have this pattern, but some do. And that's that's sort of part of that process where gaming becomes unhealthy or when any habit becomes unhealthy. It's when we're using it as a coping mechanism. for avoiding unpleasant emotions, unpleasant feelings.
Debbie Reber 0:22
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm Debbie Rieber, your host, and today I'm sharing with you a very interesting conversation with Eric Lanigan about two topics that I know are extremely relevant and perhaps concerning to many listeners out there. video gaming and motivation. I reached out to Eric after learning about an online course he runs for parents called Making Peace with Gaming because I was curious to know just how do we do that and what does it actually mean to make peace with gaming in the context of everyday life with kids who are really into their gaming. What I loved about this conversation is that it went so much deeper than video gaming and it really went to the heart of the emotional lives of our children.
Debbie Reber 1:18
And a little bit about Eric, he is a motivational coach who helps people get clear on what they want. He guides his clients in directing their attention inwards to develop a deeper awareness of their behavior and habits. In addition to making peace with gaming, he runs another online course called The Big Shift. Eric is a former video game addict himself and he offers an intimate view of the world of compulsive gaming. And he also gives workshops on emotional intelligence, motivation, and procrastination. I found this conversation to be very thought provoking. I hope that you get a lot out of it. So enough announcements for today. I'm gonna go to the episode and my conversation with Eric Lanigan. Hey Eric, welcome to the podcast.
Eric Lanigan 2:12
Thank you, Debbie.
Debbie Reber 2:14
So we were just talking before, I'm really excited about this conversation. I think it's a kind of a fresh subject for us and a and a different take on um video games and and some other things we're gonna talk about today. So as a way of getting started, can you just give us kind of a brief introduction to who you are and what you do in the world?
Eric Lanigan 2:36
Yeah. Well my name is Eric Lanigan and I work as a coach and teacher around motivation and self connection. And that expresses itself in many forms. Often with young people who are wanting to do something with their lives and don't quite know how to do it. Sometimes with professionals who are already successful. and are wanting to refocus that in a direction that might be slightly more fulfilling or to really break through around a project. And Now with parents supporting their kids and developing their relationships with their kids around gaming passions.
Debbie Reber 3:21
Mm, gaming passions. I love I love even just hearing those two words together. And I'm just curious how you You know, kind of your personal why in doing this work. How did you come to be doing this?
Eric Lanigan 3:36
Well, it starts with me being rather insecure as a kid. being insecure about my height and feeling unattractive and then having this sense of the inadequacy, which I looked out at the world, the big world from the eyes of twelve, thirteen year old. And thought what would make me adequate? Well, it seems like money is really important. So I picked money and I started trading stocks at thirteen and derivatives at sixteen and I started a business in college and had a day trading mentor in college and I thought this was gonna be my path. And uh fortunately. I recognized that there was no amount of money that was actually gonna make up With a sense of inner lack. And so I did change my trajectory. uh around age twenty one and started trying to figure out what would actually make me happy.
Eric Lanigan 4:33
And that was a bit of a multi year journey living at retreat centers, taking as many personal growth courses and retreats and seminars as I could. And and that path led me to Canada where I lived with a A mentor there who did addiction therapy and emotional intelligence training with horses where horses were helping

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