TPP 198: When School Isn't Working, with Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz & Debbie Reber

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Debbie Reber 0:00
But we need to let go and really question our own needs for this to look a certain way, for their schooling to look a certain way, because that's where We stay stuck in these unhealthy environments. We keep our kids or t push them into school environments where they're not gonna thrive because we think it's what they need to be successful. Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. This week's episode is a special reverse interview featuring a conversation between myself and Debbie Steinberg Kunz, founder of Bright and Quirky, and host of the Bright and Quirky Summit. So Debbie invited me to be a part of her.
Debbie Reber 0:46
Summit and was interested in doing a deep dive with me on the topic of education, specifically the challenges surrounding finding and accessing an appropriate education for bright and quirky and 2e learners. So we recorded this conversation for the upcoming summit, and then we decided why not release it as a special Tilt Parenting podcast episode, too. So that's what this is. So if it sounds like I'm the one being interviewed, You are correct. That's what's happening. But it's a really great conversation. We talk about the challenges for bright and quirky kids in school today, the importance of talking openly about our kids' neurodivergence with the potential schools, and I share a little bit about how we in my family transitioned from a negative school fit to a really positive homeschooling experience and more.
Debbie Reber 1:36
Alright, I'm gonna get right to our conversation. Here is my conversation with Debbie Steinberg Kunz, and many people refer to us as the two Debbie, so here you go.
Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz 1:49
Hi everyone, it's Debbie Steinberz, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Bright and Quirky. I'm so excited to interview my friend and colleague Debbie Reber. Debbie, welcome to the Brighton Quirky Summit twenty twenty. Thank you, Debbie. So happy to be here. All right. Well The people that we serve cross over quite a bit, um You serve differently wired people. I also do uh bright and quirky people who um tend to have advanced b abilities and brain based challenges at the same time. And I think both of the populations we work with Ask the question in many different ways, how to know if school is working for my child. And um in preparation for our interview, I was just looking through all the questions that came from our parents.
Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz 2:41
And I'm curious to see if you get similar questions like How do I know if my child А скул із мітингів'сніс. How do I know when we should seek another school? How important is the school they go to? I'm trying to find the right school for my daughter. Is are those the kind of questions you get to?
Debbie Reber 2:58
Yeah, I mean school is definitely the biggest pain point I think for the families in my community because I mean that's really our kids' job, right? Is to be students and um when it's not working it can be so stressful. The majority of my questions tend to focus on what do I do now because this isn't working.
Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz 3:20
So true. And what are the ways in which it's not working? The the things that I hear are sort of different variations of my child feels like a square peg in a round hole, whether they're Bodies are too busy for the the normal public school classroom or they have trouble acting out when they're frustrated or they're bored because it's not engaging enough is th do you hear things like that?
Debbie Reber 3:46
Yes. I remember and I'll just share them when my son Asher was in second grade. He was in a gifted and talented program, a full time program, but he used to sneak read his Kindle every day and he got in trouble for doing that because he needed to pay attention. He's like, But I already know everything. I'm just supposed to sit there and and be bored. And at least he he doesn't know everything, but he knew what was being covered in the classroom. So there is that boredom piece and then with so many of these kids, when they're bored, they're more easily distracted or they are, you know, they can become emotionally dysregulated and then that can show up in so many ways.

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