TPP 199a: Raising Good Humans with Hunter Clarke-Fields

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Unknown 0:00
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Debbie Reber 0:27
Hey, it's Debbie. Today I'm sharing a Playback Friday episode. It's a powerful conversation from Deep in the Tilt Parenting Podcast archives. Unless you're a longtime listener, you likely haven't heard this one yet. And even if you have, I bet you'll get something completely different from it this time around.
Hunter Clarke-Fields 0:44
Sometimes when we're reactive, it gives this message that you shouldn't have these feelings. You're wrong or bad for having these feelings. And the truth is everybody has every range of feelings. And when we can sit and practice being non-reactive with them, we give our kids the implicit message that it's okay, that this is normal, this is human, and I'm still here for you.
Debbie Reber 1:05
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. For this episode, I sat down with mindfulness mentor Hunter Clark Fields, host of the Mindful Mama podcast and author of the new book Raising Good Humans for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness for parents. I love Hunter's empathetic and research oriented perspective on the intersection of mindfulness and parenting, and I wanted to share her insight with listeners as I truly believe these. These practices are equally important, if not more so, for parents raising differently wired kids. In our conversation, we talk about the difference between mindfulness and meditation, using mindfulness practices to retrain our brains to handle difficult emotions.
Debbie Reber 1:57
This was what I got so much out of, and the importance of not just self-care, but self-compassion for parents. There are a lot of good tools and insights in here. I hope you enjoy it. And now here is my conversation with Hunter. Hello Hunter, welcome to the podcast. Thanks, Debbie. So glad to be here. I'm happy to have you on the show. Your work is so in alignment with teleparenting, what we do, and your new book is such a great fit for this audience. And I know you actually reach a much uh larger audience, not specifically parents of differently wired kids, but your work is so relevant to my community. So as a way to get started, would you mind telling us a little bit about yourself, what you do, who you are in the world, both
Debbie Reber 2:48
both in your professional life and as a parent.
Hunter Clarke-Fields 2:52
Sure. Um as a parent, my daughter is as we record this on the cusp of thirteen, my oldest daughter. And uh and I have a n I have a younger daughter who's on the cusp of ten. And when my oldest daughter was younger when she was like two, I was really, really struggling. I I I come out of I come out all the learning that that ca is in raising good humans and in the work, very honestly in that I was I was pretty bad at all of these things. I I felt like I felt like I was failing at at parenting when my daughter was two. I was really struggling. I was even yelling at her and it was just so So much harder than I thought it would be. And she's A very precocious kid and she's really intense. She's like w you know, a highly sensitive person.
Hunter Clarke-Fields 3:43
And she was just letting me know very clearly that the way I was doing things was not working. And so I had to I for me I um I had to really dive into like a whole bunch of learning and I had been studying and reading about mindfulness since I was a teenager for myself, because I happen to be a highly sensitive person, go figure. Um, and then I had been practicing for a few years before she was born. But um I knew that that was the really the sort of the key to like lowering my reactivity lay in that realm. So I had to really kind of dive back into that, but also then diving into the parenting world and and learning about what are the best practices and and realizing that these two worlds needed to talk to each other.

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