TPP 227: Amelia Bowler Talks About Her New Book, The Parents' Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder

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What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and why does it matter?

Amelia Bowler 0:00
Everything that I thought was appropriate and useful as a disciplinary approach was really blowing up in my face. So what is wrong? That's a horrible, horrible question to have to ask. But I think that's the problem that the label causes. The label tells us what adults around your child are feeling. They are feeling opposed and they are feeling defied. And they're saying that's not okay. And so that's why we call it ODD. It doesn't tell us anything about the child at all.
Debbie Reber 0:35
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber. Before I introduce my guest and topic today, I have a quick announcement, and that is that the doors to my Differently Wired Club are open for new members for this week only, from today through Friday, September 25th. While I know that many of us love learning from podcasts and books and summits, including me, sometimes applying and integrating these strategies so we can truly transform our families can be difficult when we are just so consumed with getting through the day-to-day, especially in these unusual times of COVID-19.
Debbie Reber 1:19
I created the Differently Wired Club to help parents do this deep work within a supportive community where we're all working toward the same goals. The club includes live coaching calls, virtual office hours, a monthly book club featuring guest appearances by authors of some of your favorite parenting books, monthly themes, a private community for connection and support, and more. So if this feels like the kind of support you could use right now, go to tiltparenting.com slash club to learn more. Okay, and now onto this week's episode. Today, I'm covering a topic that is both new to the podcast and often shrouded in confusion and controversy, oppositional defiance disorder, or ODD. To shed some light on this topic is my guest, Amelia Bowler, a writer, teacher, mother, and behavioral analyst with a master's degree in applied disability studies.
Debbie Reber 2:13
ODD became personal for Amelia when her own son was diagnosed, and her quest for understanding, combined with her curiosity about the why of behavior, eventually led to her new book, The Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Your Questions Answered. I had a chance to review this book before it was published, and I found it to be an invaluable resource for parents trying to make sense of this diagnosis. Over the years, I have received many requests from listeners to do an episode on this topic, so I'm thrilled to finally be able to share this with you. In our conversation, Amelia explains what ODD is and what it isn't, how to better understand ODD in the context of behavioral and relational science, and many, many strategies and tips to support kids with this profile.
Debbie Reber 3:01
What I especially appreciate is Amelia's vast understanding of the research combined with her passionate, empathetic and relationship centered approach. I hope you get a lot out of this conversation with Amelia. Hey, Amelia, welcome to the podcast.
Amelia Bowler 3:22
I am so excited to be here. You have no idea.
Debbie Reber 3:27
All right, listeners, I do know because she told me before I hit record. So really excited that you're here as well. This is the first time I've done an episode in over 200 episodes on oppositional defiance disorder. And I think this is one of those episodes. Well, we'll get into it. But there's just so much misinformation and myths about what this is. So I'm excited you're going to break it down for us. But before we get to that, can you take a few minutes just to more casually introduce yourself, tell us about who you are in the world and your story? And actually, I'd love to know, as part of that, how you came to even write this book?
Amelia Bowler 4:03
Oh, sure. Okay. Well, um, I'm Amelia Bowler. And when I was a kid, they didn't really have a word for people like me, but my parents used the term severely gifted. Interesting. I was clearly struggling. But, you know, she's so smart and she's doing great on all those standardized tests.

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