TPP 241: Author and Parent Coach Mercedes Samudio Talks About Shame Proof Parenting
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
39 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 day ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is shame and why does it affect every parent?
The families that are presented to us as the ideal family type are usually white, affluent, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied, like it's the same type of family. And so if your family does not look like that, it can feel very disconnecting or out of alignment to try to connect with those parenting ideals.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber. Today's episode is all about shame. I don't think there's a parent in the world who's never felt shame or guilt for something, whether from their own actions or from the judgment of others. And I'm gonna venture that parenting differently wired kids can be a particularly unique minefield of shame and guilt. That's why today's conversation is so important. My fellow parents in the trenches, it is time to get shame proof. My guest Mercedes Simudio coined the term shame proof parenting and is on a mission to end parent shame.
Mercedes is a licensed clinical social worker, parenting coach, speaker, and the author of the book Shameproof Parenting, Find Your Unique Parenting Voice, Feel Empowered, and Raise Whole, Healthy Children. Mercedes is also the founder of the nonprofit Diversity in Parenting, which aims to bring more diversity and inclusion to the parenting and mental health professional world, yet another much needed initiative that you'll hear more about in this interview. While working with all kinds of families during the past 10 years, Mercedes began to realize that in order to raise healthy humans, parents need the space to be fully human themselves. In our conversation, she explains the relationship between shame and disconnection, how and why to tune into our own intuition, and what it truly means to be shameproof.
What I love about this shame proof framework is it's not about letting parents off the hook. It's about opening a space for parents to heal, grow, and connect to themselves and their children. And now here is my conversation with Mercedes. Hello Mercedes, welcome to the podcast. Hi, thank you so much for having me. I'm really looking forward to this conversation today.
How does Mercedes Samudio define “shame‑proof parenting”?
And before we get into the topic for today, could you just take a few minutes and introduce yourself? Tell us about what you do in the world. And also I always love to hear about my guests' personal why for what they do.
That's a great question. Um, so I have been in this field for about a over a decade. Um, I started out kind of just doing case management and then went in and got my master's and got licensed. And I primarily work with parents who are trying to really figure out what it means to be a parent, not just focusing on parenting skills, but really focusing on how do they find their space to still exist and thrive, but at the same time hold a space for their children to exist and thrive and be healthy. healthy and so helping parents to really merge those two elements of themselves is what I focus on a lot do my work with shame proof parenting. And then I'm also a speaker. Um I have my book, Shameproof Parenting.
And also I opened up in two thousand nineteen a uh nonprofit called Diversity in Parenting, where we now also focus on the professionals who Work with parents and support parents and the nonprofit also really focuses on bringing more diversity into the parenting and mental health landscape in terms of speakers and in terms of the topics we discuss. Анне, акес, май із. really it comes from a myriad of places, but I would say the foundation for my why of working with parents and working with families is my own personal history with my family. I was raised by my stepgrandmother and not my biological parents. And the mixture of kind of our relationship and the tumultuousness of it really just kind of let me think of what would ha have happened if my mom
uh my grandmother who I call mom, if she had the resources and the support to actually care for herself and for me at the same time.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is shame and why does it affect every parent?
0:00–2:32
2
How does Mercedes Samudio define “shame‑proof parenting”?
2:32–6:03
3
Why is representation and diversity crucial for families that don’t fit the “ideal” model?
6:03–10:10
4
What are the core components of the shame‑proof parenting framework?
10:10–15:28
5
How can parents tap into their intuition and identify their own needs?
15:28–20:26
6
What is the “miracle question” and how does it build confidence in parenting?
20:26–24:46
7
How do resilience and support help families bounce back from setbacks?
24:46–28:35
8
Where can listeners connect with Mercedes Samudio and access her resources?
28:35–39:40
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids