TPP 256: Autistic Therapist Kate McNulty on Neurodiverse Relationships
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
38 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 13 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the focus of this episode and who is the guest?
You know, it's very intricate to get to know the internal world of another person and how they tick. And if you aren't naturally wired in the same way and to look at the world the same way, it really does take some inquisitiveness.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber. Today's topic is a little bit different, but certainly no less interesting, relevant, or helpful. Because no doubt, if we are parenting a differently wired child, then many of us, whether we are neurotypical or neurodivergent, are coupled or co-parenting with a differently wired partner. If this is you, then today's conversation will be especially relevant. My guest is licensed clinical social worker and family and couples therapist, Kate McNulty. Kate is herself autistic, and in this episode, we dig into a lot of important issues surrounding what she calls mixed neurotype couples, the common challenges and misconceptions, fostering connection and understanding as partners and parents, handling a later-in-life diagnosis, and much more.
Kate also tells us about her new book, Love and Asperger's, practical strategies to help couples understand each other and strengthen their connection. If you're in a mixed neurotype relationship or have wondered about your own child's future prospects for partnership, Kate's perspective and practical strategies will undoubtedly give you hopeful food for thought and perhaps even challenge some of your assumptions. I hope you enjoy this conversation. Before I get to that, if you are new to Tilt Parenting and found this podcast while searching for resources to support you on your journey of parenting a neurodivergent child, I have a few other resources I want to be sure you know about. My book, Differently Wired, A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope, it just hit its three-year anniversary this month, and it's available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook.
In Differently Wired, I share my best practices and practical advice for supporting not just our kids, but ourselves throughout this journey. And if you're looking to make some quick positive shifts in your day-to-day life, I invite you to do my free Differently Wired seven-day challenge. You'll get a short daily video highlighting one actionable thing you can do right away to impact the way you think, feel, and act in relation to your child. You also get a downloadable mini workbook and access to a private Facebook group, and it's totally free. Just go to tiltparenting.com slash seven day to sign up. That's tiltparenting.com slash seven day. Thanks so much. And now here is my conversation with Kate.
Hello, Kate. Welcome to the podcast.
Hi, Debbie. Thanks for making time to talk with me. It's a pleasure to be here.
I'm really looking forward to this. I was intrigued when you reached out to me and you shared your new book with me. And yeah, I think we're going to have an interesting conversation today.
How did Kate discover she was autistic and what led her to become a therapist for neurodiverse families?
And before we get into that and learn more about your book and the work that you do, could you tell us a little bit about kind of who you are in the world and a little bit about your story?
Yeah, I've been a therapist for many years. This has been my only career. And I didn't know much about autism until one of my kids started talking to me about it as a young adult. And when that came up, I started reading and researching and recognized that I'm autistic and that I had two autistic kids. And it's been really a wonderful pivot in my career to learn about this and get to work with more autistic people. And so when this book was offered to me to write, I was just really delighted to plow into the research and get even more well-informed about it.
And how long ago was that, that you self-identified as being autistic and kind of made that pivot?
It's been about eight years now. So I've had a lot of time to get used to the idea and Kind of construct a new identity because I think something that happens for many of us when we recognize this, especially later in life, is that you do this kind of retrospective and it's like zooming through your life with a wider lens.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the focus of this episode and who is the guest?
0:00–3:17
2
How did Kate discover she was autistic and what led her to become a therapist for neurodiverse families?
3:17–8:13
3
Why did Kate write *Love and Asperger’s* and what problem does the book aim to solve?
8:13–13:54
4
What are the most common challenges faced by mixed‑neurotype couples?
13:54–20:09
5
How can partners in mixed‑neurotype relationships improve affection and communication?
20:09–26:45
6
What strategies help co‑parents support neurodivergent children while staying united as a couple?
26:45–32:14
7
How should adults approaching a later‑life autism diagnosis navigate self‑identification and resources?
32:14–35:40
8
Where can listeners learn more about Kate’s work, books, and online resources?
35:40–38:03
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids