TPP 307a: Eliza Fricker Talks Parenting a Child with PDA
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
34 min
1 speaker
6 chapters
transcribed 1 hour ago
Transcript
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What is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and how does it differ from typical demand avoidance?
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Maybelline. Hey, it's Debbie. Playback Friday episodes during the month of June will be focused on PDA, pathological demand avoidance, or as many in the community prefer, persistent drive for autonomy. Whether you're brand new to learning about PDA or you are deep in the journey already, I guarantee you will find some good strategies here and also feel very seen in your experience. Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber. On today's episode, I'm talking with Eliza Fricker about PDA, an acronym that technically stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, although I know many people who interpret PDA as a persistent desire for autonomy.
I've done a few episodes on PDA before. I'll have links to those in the show notes, but never from a parent's perspective. So after reading Eliza's insightful book, The Family Experience of PDA, I knew I wanted to share her perspective with this community. During the episode, Eliza and I talk about how demand avoidance is more extreme in a child with a PDA profile versus the inflexibility or rigidity we might see in other neurodivergent kids. We also get into what Eliza has learned about herself parenting a child with PDA and what her resistance was to the changes needed to her parenting style. She also shared some great tips for teachers who have a PDA student in their classroom and for parents who are struggling with family, friends, or people close to them who aren't willing to understand what PDA is and what that means for their family.
Eliza Fricker is the illustrator behind Missing the Mark, a deeply personal and human exploration of a mother's journey navigating the education system and everyday life with a child who can't go to school. Thanks so much. And now here is my conversation with Eliza. Hey, Eliza, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me. I'm really looking forward to talking about your work and your book. I have done a few episodes on PDA, but not from the parent perspective. And you have such a unique lens and your book is amazing in the way that you can share this experience in such an accessible, gettable way. I'm just thrilled to be able to share this with my listeners. Before we get into that, can you take a few minutes and just introduce yourself?
yourself. Tell us a little bit about your personal why and who you are.
Yeah, sure. So my name is Eliza Fricker and I am an author and illustrator. And I started out actually illustrating my blog a couple of years ago, which is called MissingTheMark.blog. And that was really, I had a background in design and illustration, but when my child became too unwell to go to school, that was really, the blog was to help me process the eight years really of struggling within the education system and the systems of support. So for me, my medium has always been illustration and that helps me to process things so i started with missing the mark and it was from there that i was asked to write a book about pda and things have kind of escalated within the realm of writing about all sorts of things within the education system and a neurodivergent so
I
often talk to people on this podcast whose personal world has kind of meshed with their parenting world and collided in the best possible way. And it really seems like that has been the case for you. Although I imagine this wasn't part of your big career plan when you became an illustrator.
No, it wasn't. I think something that I found very difficult to access within that world of parenting, particularly a child with extra needs, with any positivity, it was quite gloomy.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and how does it differ from typical demand avoidance?
0:00–7:19
2
How does demand avoidance manifest more extremely in children with a PDA profile?
7:19–14:05
3
What parenting shifts did Eliza make to support her child with PDA?
14:05–19:20
4
Which everyday routines did Eliza rethink to reduce demand for her PDA child?
19:20–23:35
5
What practical classroom tweaks can teachers use for a PDA student?
23:35–30:12
6
How can parents handle misunderstandings from family and professionals about PDA?
30:12–34:56
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
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TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids