TPP 312: Todd Adams on How Men Can Better Show Up for Their Kids and Families

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What is the purpose of this episode and who is the guest?

Todd Adams 0:00
It's wired into me and it's pounded into me that my first priority is to make sure that I continue to do a good job professionally. And I'll let my wife navigate the emotions in the household because she's better at it. So it's easier for me to just kind of step back, say, you know what, honey, you're better at this than I am. So I just might come in a heavy-handed when there needs to be some serious discipline, but you do most of the heavy lifting. And in my experience, It has to happen. We need to meet our partners at least halfway. And as a matter of fact, even more than halfway.
Debbie Reber 0:35
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber. And today is a different kind of episode for this show because we're doing a deep dive into the subject of vulnerability, male culture, and parenting specifically in the context of heteronormative relationships. And I have the perfect guest. us to explore this topic with Todd Adams, half of the duo of Zen Parenting Radio and a leadership coach for men and the executive director of the international men's organization Men Living. Todd and I looked at the societal norms and pressures on men that get in the way of their being vulnerable in their relationships, feel more connected at home, and hold emotional space for their families, especially in families with differently wired children where the demands on relationships emotionally, mentally, and physically may be more intense.
Debbie Reber 1:32
We also talked about what women can do to support and encourage their male partners to do inner work and show up in a way that will better support their relationships and their family as a whole. And you may recognize Todd, he's been on the show before, but in case you're new to him, here's a little background. Todd Adams co founded Zen Parenting with his wife, Kathy, 12 years ago, and their Zen Parenting Radio podcast is a top 10 parenting podcast whose grounding forces are self awareness, mindfulness, compassion, and connection. And incidentally, it is one of my favorite podcasts. In addition to being the executive director, Men Living, Todd is a staff member of the Mankind Project and blogs for the Good Men Project.
Debbie Reber 2:14
So if you, like a majority of listeners of this show, are a woman in a heteronormative relationship, I encourage you to give your partner a compassionate nudge to listen. There's a lot of food for thought throughout this conversation, and I hope it can be a catalyst for finding deeper connection within your relationship. Thanks so much and now here is my conversation with Todd. Hey Todd, welcome back to the podcast.
Todd Adams 2:44
Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate you having me on.
Debbie Reber 2:46
So I've had you and Kathy on together. And then I did a solo with Kathy to talk about her awesome book, Zen Parenting. And y'all should go back and listen to that. I'll have links in the show notes pages for both of those episodes. But now we are having our own one-to-one. So I would love if you could start by just doing your own intro to who you are in the world, what you do.
Todd Adams 3:07
Sure. My name's Todd Adams. I'm married to an amazing woman named Kathy Kasani Adams. We do a podcast together called Zen Parenting Radio. I'm also the executive director of an international men's organization called Men Living. I'm also a life and leadership coach. And I have three amazing daughters, ages 19, 17, and 15.
Debbie Reber 3:27
As a way to get started, you mentioned your international organization, Men Living. I want to know more about the work that you do with men and why that has been the area that you've dived deep into.
Todd Adams 3:38
Yeah. So I think the easiest way for me to tell a story is to begin at the beginning. I went on a golf weekend with my buddies when I was like thirty two years old and they were college friends. And we did the things that most guys do on golf weekends, which is gamble and drink and play golf. And I got home from the weekend exhausted and also joyful because I spent the weekend with my buddies and

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