TPP 331: John Sovec on Supporting LGBTQIA+ Differently Wired Kids
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
36 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 14 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What does “coming out” mean for LGBTQIA+ teens today?
In any adolescent development style, through those teenage years, that's when it's important that kids are finding their own identity of who they are. And parents need to understand, oh, I need to work through my stuff about how I'm feeling about who they're becoming, whether it's being LGBTQIA+, or any other aspect of identity that doesn't fall in line with that parental vision.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber. Today, I am delighted to be bringing to the show a conversation about supporting LGBTQIA plus kids. And I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with, John Sovec, a therapist, author, and nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA plus teens and their families during the coming out process. I wanted to talk with John because these conversations are becoming increasingly prevalent within our neurodivergent communities. During this episode, John explains what coming out means and why it's such a significant and ongoing event for any LGBTQIA plus person.
He also shared his thoughts on the high correlation between neurodivergence and gender nonconformity, how parents can best respond when their child comes out to them, why affirmation is more important than acceptance, and why it's so important that parents honor their own process as they navigate understanding their child's identity. Here's a little bit more about John before we dive in. John Sobeck is the author of Out, A Parent's Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA Plus Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond, which is the book we're exploring through our conversation today, and is also a frequent contributor to numerous publications providing LGBTQIA plus support. John speaks at conferences nationally, provides training and professional consultation for community agencies, schools, and nonprofits, and is the host of OutTalk, a monthly web series for out care health.
In December 2019, he was appointed by Governor Gavin Newsom to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. Before I get to today's episode, if you're ready to dive deeper with me and seriously uplevel your parenting progress, I invite you to check out the Differently Wired Club. Think virtual office hours, coaching calls, expert guests, monthly themes, connection with other parents like you, and much more. I open up the doors to the club for a few days at the end of every month. So coming up soon. Curious to know more? Visit TiltParenting.com slash club for all the details. And now here is my conversation with John. Hello, John. Welcome to the podcast.
Thank you. I'm so excited to chat with you all today.
Yes, me too. I'm excited to get into your new book called Out. We're going to dive into that. But could you kind of set us up? So I've already read your formal bio. So we know your credentials and where you're coming at this from. But could you tell us a little bit more about your personal why and doing the work that you do in the world?
You know, it's really fascinating because my personal why showed up when I was in grad school as an openly queer person and now an openly queer therapist. I noticed in my schooling that there was very little talk about the journey of LGBTQ people in the world of psychology and almost none about the needs of kids and adolescents. And so as I started hearing that, I realized this is a place that's really important to me. I had a very smooth, beautiful, powerful coming out process when I was younger. And yet I still could have used a therapist who understood my needs. And so I started working really hard on that. I started getting more education, not just for LGBTQ, but also adolescent care in general.
And it started developing and become my sweet spot. And it's just a place where... When I sit down with teenagers, it's always fascinating for me because parents always come in and say like, oh, my kid won't talk. They won't talk. And I start the interview with like parents in the room and then I ask the parents to leave and then the kids sit down and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does “coming out” mean for LGBTQIA+ teens today?
0:00–5:49
2
How does neurodivergence relate to higher rates of gender nonconformity?
5:49–10:29
3
What are the most supportive first‑reaction steps for parents when a child comes out?
10:29–15:10
4
Why is affirmation more important than acceptance for LGBTQIA+ youth?
15:10–20:23
5
How can parents honor their own emotional process while supporting their child’s identity?
20:23–25:00
6
What practical strategies help families create an affirming environment at home and with extended family?
25:00–30:51
7
How should parents navigate discussions about dating, sex, and relationships with LGBTQIA+ teens?
30:51–35:39
8
What resources does John Sovec recommend for parents and professionals working with LGBTQIA+ kids?
35:39–36:11
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids