TPP 367: Dr. Aliza Pressman on the 5 Principles of Parenting

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What motivated the host to feature Dr. Aliza Pressman’s new parenting book?

Unknown 0:00
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Dr. Aliza Pressman 0:38
you're growing the window of tolerance, but you're recognizing that everybody's window of tolerance is different and you need to meet kids where they are. It's so heartening. It's just like, okay, we could do this. It's harder. Б із гим the capacity. It's giving hope for that stretched capacity. And we want that. We just want to be able to stretch our kids, but we don't want to break them.
Debbie Reber 1:06
I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I can't tell you how many parenting books I've read, but I can tell you that sometimes when I finish reading a parenting book, I feel the sense of loss or stress or as if I'm somehow behind and need to backtrack to get things going in the right direction. So when When I come across a book that feels supportive and accessible, I'm always happy to share it with you. That is definitely the case with The Five Principles of Parenting, Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, the new book by Friend of the Pod, Dr. Elisa Pressman.
Debbie Reber 1:46
I think what I love so much about Elise's work is that she compassionately reminds us that there is no one right way to raise good humans. Instead, in her book, she helps parents chart a manageable course for raising good humans that's in alignment with our own values and our children's unique temperaments. The five principles outlined in her book that she walks us through in this conversation: relationship, reflection. Regulation, rules, and repair can be used to get things right often enough, because there is no getting a perfect score in parenting. So many great reminders in this conversation, and the one that I appreciated the most is that even though what it takes to raise good humans may sound simple, that doesn't mean it's easy or that it's not going to feel messy.
Debbie Reber 2:34
In fact, it's most definitely going to feel messy. And that's okay. Before I get to our conversation, here's a little bit more about Aliza. Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and the health care providers who care for them. She is the co-founding director of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center and the host of the award-winning podcast Raising Good Humans. In addition to her PhD in developmental psychology from Columbia. Elisa also holds a teaching certificate in mindfulness and meditation from the Greater Goods Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley and is the mother of two teenagers. This is a gentle, supportive conversation.
Debbie Reber 3:16
So I encourage you to just take a few slow deep breaths and settle in. Hey Elisa, welcome back to the podcast. Hello, thank you for having me back. Yeah, we were just talking before I hit record and we recorded in very different times in the world. We were kind of like really in it in the COVID pandemic and we talked about trauma and burnout and it was such a good conversation. Listeners, if you want a little flashback, there's a lot of gold in that conversation. I'll include the link in the show notes page. But we're gonna have a much different conversation today and celebrate and learn more about your new book. But before we get into that, for listeners who aren't familiar with you and your work, would you just give us your introduction and who you are in the world and your sweet spot in what you do?
Dr. Aliza Pressman 4:06
Sure. I am a developmental psychologist. Which is just a different kind of lens for psychologists. It's looking at change over time and how we come to be who we are, versus a sort of diagnosis lens or a clinical lens.

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