TPP 377: Parent Lean-In — How to Ethically Respond When a Child is Being Physically Aggressive
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
21 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 14 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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I'm Debbie Reaver and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I get a lot of questions from listeners looking for help navigating complex situations with their kids. So, in this new mini-episode format, I'll be answering listener questions, sometimes all on my own, sometimes with one of the parent coaches from the Differently Wired Club. And sometimes with an author or expert who's become a trusted resource. Think of these bite-sized, short and sweet parent lean-in episodes as a quick check-in. One question, one answer, featuring strategies, tips, or reframes that can support you in your parenting world.
To submit a question for a parent lean-in episode, just go to tiltparenting.com slash lean in. That's tiltparenting.com slash L E A. Alright, here's today's episode. Hey everyone, it's Debbie Reber here from Tilt Parenting, and I am thrilled that parent coach Margaret Webb. Is joining me for today's Parent Lean In episode. Margaret is a dear friend of mine. She was my very first parent coach. She's also the lead parent coach in my Differently Wired Club, where she provides a ton of support for the parents in that community. Margaret's also the author of the wonderful new book, A Hero's Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn't Expect When You Are Expecting, which we recently talked about on
This show. So if you haven't heard that, definitely go back and check out that episode. It'll be in the show notes page for this episode. Welcome, Margaret. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to be here. Awesome.
What is the listener’s question about handling a child’s physical aggression?
Well we have a great question to get into. So are you ready? I'm ready. Here goes. The question is, I've been around a lot of parents lately dealing with aggression in their kids. When I talk about Mona Della Hook's work or trying to understand what's underneath the behavior and how to prevent it, I am met with dismissal and some frustration. Do you know of an ethical way for a parent to protect themselves from a child's aggression in the moment or anyone who talks about that? Of course we want to create a sense of safety in the child's nervous system so that we can prevent this in the first place, but if we've missed that window, what are parents supposed to do? What a great question and Margaret. I'm gonna ask you to to start today.
Yeah, I think this is such a great question and it's something that is so common with parents, especially, you know, when there is an escalation of emotions and behaviors with our kiddos. And so I do feel like even though you might be met with dismissal or it might be like, oh well that doesn't matter, I think it is important to acknowledge and to be aware of what is underneath or what is the n the underlying cause of the escalation. because that can help shift the energy for the adult, not for the child, but for the adult in understanding where those strong emotions or where the aggression is coming from. Because if we're just responding to that aggression as though it's just a behavior. Kind of being able to in that moment rewind, even for a second, to think about, well, what was happening before this?
you know, where is it are they hungry, are they thirsty? Are they you know, did they just lose a game? Did they just cut get home from school and they've used up all of their energy trying to get through the day and then they come home and they take it out on me, they take it out on brother or sister, or they take it out on whoever is around. I think there's a lot of good information that can be And from just taking some time too quickly.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–2:07
2
What is the listener’s question about handling a child’s physical aggression?
2:07–5:28
3
How can parents identify the hidden triggers behind a child’s aggressive outburst?
5:28–7:45
4
What immediate safety steps can a parent take when the aggression window has already passed?
7:45–10:36
5
How does the “door‑timeout” technique help protect both parent and child?
10:36–13:49
6
Which calming practices (breathing, self‑hug, simple mantras) keep a parent regulated in the moment?
13:49–17:30
7
What are the Four S’s (Safe, Seen, Soothed, Secure) and how do they guide ethical responses?
17:30–19:36
8
How can parents teach kids to recognize their own “volcano” signals before aggression erupts?
19:36–21:32
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
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TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids