TPP 398: Parent Lean-In — Help! I Don't Know How to Respond to My Teen's Impulsivity & Disruptive Behavior

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Unknown 0:00
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Debbie Reber 0:29
I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I get a lot of questions from listeners looking for help navigating complex situations with their kids. So in this new mini episode format, I'll be answering listener questions, sometimes all on my own, sometimes with one of the parent coaches from the Differently Wired Club, and sometimes with an author or expert who's become a trusted resource. Think of these bite-sized, short and sweet Parent Lean In episodes as a quick check-in. One question, one answer, featuring strategies, tips, or reframes that can support you in your parenting world.
Debbie Reber 1:10
To submit a question for a Parent Lean In episode, just go to TiltParenting.com slash Lean In. That's TiltParenting.com slash L-E-A-N-I-N. All right, here's today's episode. Hey, everybody. I am here today with my dear friend, my wise colleague, Seth Perler. For this apparently in an episode, Seth has been on the show a bunch of times before. You should go back and listen to some of those episodes. There's gold in the archives. But if you're new to him, he's an executive function coach and a consultant. He has a ton of experience addressing extraordinarily diverse learning needs. He's passionate about meeting the unique needs of students, and he is really focused on addressing social, emotional, lifestyle, and executive function issues in order to help students experience success.
Debbie Reber 2:01
You can get a lot of great resources from Seth's website, sethperler.com. And if you want to work more closely with Seth, definitely check out his new executive function lab, which is where he coaches people online. on how to get big results for their struggling students. He's got a ton of tools on there. It's a great community. And you can learn more about that. Seth, what's the URL for that?
Seth Perler 2:24
Executivefunctionlab.com.
Debbie Reber 2:27
Easy peasy. So that's in the show notes. Check that out. But Seth, welcome to the podcast.
Seth Perler 2:31
What's up, Debbie? Let's dive in.
Debbie Reber 2:33
Let us dive in. Okay, so this question was submitted from a listener. I'm not sure the age of the child. I'll say that up front. But here's the question. What do you do when your son's adolescent impulsivity leads him to continually cross the line, causing disturbances in class, jumping over walls and fences of private property, stealing money, etc.? ? When confronted, he thinks it's hilarious. Unless we get really angry, he doesn't seem to think it's serious. But if we get really angry, we end up with blowups. With trying to be calm and supportive, it feels he's getting away with things and rapidly heading in the wrong direction. What do you advise? So what do you advise? Seth, I'd love you to start us off.
Seth Perler 3:14
Well, it's hard to advise because I don't know the family. I mean, I'll give you some of my thoughts on this and don't know the age and stuff. But let's start here. It's scary. This is really scary. This reminds me of myself as a teen. And I was getting in a lot of trouble and doing a lot of things that I am not proud of. And turning it around and turning the corner with this, you know, my parents didn't know what's going on. So it's good. It's good. At least that you seem to know what's going on. But it's scary reading this. So the first thing that I want to say is that I would quote advise is get help. This is real life. This is real. Get help. Don't wait. And there are two different types of help. One, there's parents get help, meaning that we all, and Debbie and I talk a lot about our own deep inner work, but we all have dysfunction and maladaptive behaviors.
Seth Perler 4:09
behaviors and things that we've learned from where any, any context that we've grown up in.

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