TPP 410: Ali Miller on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) & Navigating Couple and Co-Parenting Dynamics
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
34 min
1 speaker
6 chapters
transcribed 15 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and why is it a comprehensive model for all relationships?
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Maybe it's Maybelline. When we're in that more heart connected place, then we're in a much better place to be able to find strategies that address all of the needs that we've identified, as opposed to getting stuck in where most couples get stuck, like whose way is the right way and whose the way is the wrong way and whose way is gonna win out and who's gonna lose. And if anyone's losing, it's not gonna be satisfying for either partner.
I'm Debbie Rieber, and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. Today I'm excited to share my conversation with Allie Miller on how nonviolent communication, otherwise known as NBC, can help us navigate co parenting dynamics and couple relationships. We know that when raising a neurodivergent child, there are often a lot of opportunities. For parents to disagree, whether it's about the therapies to explore, or whether or not to disclose a diagnosis to a family member, or even if that diagnosis is accurate. Discussions like these can be really tough and they can definitely place a strain on the relationship.
But with nonviolent communication, we can learn how to have conversations that feel truly like a win-win for everybody involved. Allie Miller is an expert in nonviolent communication. Communication. She has been a marriage and family therapist for over 20 years, specializing in couples communication. As an online coach, she helps couples worldwide improve their communication and conflict resolution skills, allowing them to experience more peace, passion, and possibilities in their relationships. I really wanted to do a conversation on nonviolent communication because I believe it can be so powerful for those of us. Navigating parenting and co-parenting dynamics that can be complex. So, in this conversation, Ali and I discussed what NVC is and why it's a really comprehensive model that supports all kinds of relationships.
We explored how understanding our feelings and even more importantly, the underlying needs behind them. It's crucial for effective communication. Ali also emphasized the importance. Of empathy and self-empathy in the model and shared how to express our needs to our partners without blame or judgment. While also acknowledging that doesn't absolve our partner of responsibility. I'm hoping this is just the first of many conversations on this, but this one truly highlights how nonviolent communication can transform conflict into connection by fostering empathy and understanding between partners. I hope you get a lot out of it. And if you do, go ahead and share this episode with someone you think would benefit from it.
Thanks so much. And now here is my conversation with Allie Miller. Hey Allie, welcome to the podcast. Thank you, Debbie. So good to be here. I'm really, really excited to get into this topic today. This is another kind of fresh conversation for the show, which after 400 episodes doesn't happen every day. So thank you for agreeing to join me to get into this today. And I always ask my guests at the beginning to tell us a little bit about themselves beyond the bio. And as part of that, the personal why for the work that you do in the world. So would you mind starting there?
So I'm a therapist. I have been my whole adult life working with individuals and couples. And then during the pandemic, I became a certified coach so that I could reach more people, work with more people around the world. And Early on in my therapy career, I discovered nonviolent communication developed by Marshall Rosenberg. A friend was like, hey, this book is really good.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and why is it a comprehensive model for all relationships?
0:00–5:27
2
How did Ali Miller become involved with NVC and what is her background in couples therapy?
5:27–11:32
3
Why are feelings and the underlying needs behind them crucial for effective communication?
11:32–16:29
4
How does self‑empathy differ from empathy and why are both essential in NVC?
16:29–24:04
5
What are the three core NVC skills and how do they prevent misunderstandings in conflict?
24:04–31:16
6
How can NVC transform co‑parenting disagreements about therapy, diagnosis, and discipline?
31:16–34:30
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids