TPP 415: How Can I Navigate My Children’s Chaotic Energy at Bedtime?
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
22 min
2 speakers
4 chapters
transcribed 8 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the bedtime chaos question that sparked this episode?
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But like really thinking about, can we do things at a different time to get ready for bed? That way then at bedtime, we're just focused. You know, maybe it's teeth brushing or showering an earlier time or a different time, just shaking things up a little bit to see if that might have an impact on how everybody responds.
I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. And this is a Parent Lean In episode, a bite-sized show where I answer a single listener question, sometimes on my own, sometimes with a coach from the Differently Wired Club, and sometimes with an author or expert who's become one of my go-to resources. Think one relatable parent question followed by practical strategies or reframes that can support you in your parenting world. To submit a question for a future Parent Lean In show, go to tiltparenting.com slash lean in. That's tiltparenting.com slash l-e-a-n-i-n. And with that, here's today's episode.
Hey, everybody. Today, I am joined by Margaret Webb. Margaret is not just a dear friend of mine. She was my very first parenting coach. I wrote about her in Differently Wired. You may have read it. And she is also the lead parent coach in my Differently Wired Club, where she supports parents in that community. She's also the author of the wonderful new book, A Hero's Journey in Parenting, Parenting the Child You Didn't Expect When You Were Expecting, which is in my opinion, an absolute must read for any parent raising a neurodivergent child. It's just, it's the book that I wanted Margaret to write for years because she shares all of her wisdom and her comfort and her tools and her hard-won wisdom. So, all right, I'm going to stop gushing.
Welcome, Margaret. I'm so happy you're here.
I am so excited to be here and I'm excited to tackle this question. Yes, me too.
Okay, let's get into it. The question is, I need help with my kids who are overly energetic and causing complete bedtime chaos. In my home, my children, who are six and nine, often egg each other on and end up wrestling, leading to injuries due to their impulse control issues. With both having ADHD and my older son being autistic, it's becoming increasingly difficult to separate them. How can I help them settle down and get things done, especially during transitions where we have to do things like getting ready for school or for bedtime? So a lot to get into. I... I think we'll take our quick break now. And when we come back, we will get into our answers.
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And we are back. And again, the question we're answering is a six and a nine-year-old who are overly energetic. And it sounds like transitions, bedtime, leaving the house. It's all very chaotic. And both kids are ADHD. One is odd ADHD. And... This parent is having a hard time separating them and needs some strategies to help them settle down so they can get stuff done. So Margaret, I'm going to ask you to take this one first. I'd love to hear what came up for you when you heard this question.
Yes. So the first thing that came up is that it is absolutely typical that for a lot of kids to, uh, especially those ages to have a lot of energy and to want to avoid transitions.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the bedtime chaos question that sparked this episode?
0:00–12:35
2
How do Debbie and Margaret define “shadow payoffs” in kids’ energy?
12:35–15:39
3
Why might shifting routine times (e.g., brushing, showering) reduce bedtime battles?
15:39–21:52
4
What early insights did Margaret share when she first heard the question?
21:52–22:44
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids