TPP 419: A Bonus Conversation with Phyllis Fagell on Identity & Belonging
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
1h 1m
1 speaker
6 chapters
transcribed 15 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the purpose of this bonus conversation and who is the guest?
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Hey there, it's Debbie. So I'm doing something different over this winter holiday break. So rather than release some replay episodes, I am gifting bonus conversations that have never been made available to anyone outside of my Differently Wired Club before. These are just too powerful not to share. I consider each of them a thoughtful masterclass of sorts with brilliant leaders whose work and wisdom has a profound impact on the world. In today's episode, we review Visit an insightful conversation with Phyllis Fagel, a school counselor, therapist, journalist, and author of two of my favorite books for all things teens and tweens, Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers. In this discussion, Phyllis shares her expertise on the critical work of identity development in children and how parents can help their kids foster a sense of belonging.
We get into everything from navigating social challenges. For neurodivergent kids, addressing bullying and social isolation, to promoting inclusivity in schools, helping children develop self-awareness, emotional regulation, and resilience. This conversation is packed with actionable insights and compassionate advice for supporting kids' self-esteem and identity formation, especially those with marginalized identities. Phileas Fagel is a frequent contributor to the Washington Post and freelances for publications like Psychology Today, CNN, Working Mother, US News and World Report, and Your Teen. Her ideas have been shared in outlets including the New York Times, The Atlantic, Edutopia, MindShift, and MPR.
Just to let you know, these author and expert visits have a different vibe than my typical podcast interviews because the format and the length is less structured. And I host these special conversations every month as part of my differently wired club community. So if you enjoy this conversation and you want more like it, definitely consider joining us. You can learn more and join anytime by going to tildeparenting.com slash club. So now here is my special discussion with Phyllis Fagel on identity and belonging. Let me formally introduce you, Phyllis, and read your little bio here. Okay, so Phyllis Fagel is a nationally board certified school counselor, a therapist who works with kids and families in private practice in Bethesda, Maryland, an educational consultant, and an author and journalist.
She is the author of the best selling books, Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, which I can't find Middle School Matters at the moment, but this is her. most recent book and I just added this book. Oh, there it is. Okay. Um this is so good. All of Phyllis's writing is Fantastic. Okay. Uh and a frequent contributor to the Washington Post, uh, she also freelances for publications like Psychology Today, CNN, Working Mother, US News World Report, and your team. And her ideas have been shared in the outlets, including the New York Times, The Atlantic, the New York the New Yorker, Edutopia, Mind Shift and NPR. Anyway, you're so impressive. Okay. Phyllis speaks at schools and organizations nationally and internationally on a broad range of topics related to counseling, education, and parenting.
And she lives in Bethesda with her husband and three kiddos. Well, they're not all at home right now, but You do, you are the parent of three. So welcome, Phyllis. Thank you for having
me.
And hi everyone. You're here. Is there anything that you want to add that isn't included in the bio that I just read?
No, I get completely embarrassed whenever anyone reads that many sentences about me all at once. That's plenty. Okay.
I understand that. All right. Well, let's dive in.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the purpose of this bonus conversation and who is the guest?
0:00–11:33
2
How does Phyllis define identity for tweens and teens?
11:33–22:56
3
Why does belonging differ from fitting in, and how is it described?
22:56–37:47
4
What challenges do neurodivergent children face in finding belonging?
37:47–50:19
5
How can parents help a child who feels excluded or lacks close friends?
50:19–1:01:32
6
What practical strategies support authentic self‑expression without masking?
1:01:32–1:01:44
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids