TPP 427: Dr. Tovah Klein on Raising Resilient Kids During Times of Uncertainty

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Unknown 0:00
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Tovah P. Klein 0:26
Аз ви гетино, ви сей, Хакардис? And as you support them, you're building this strength in them that doesn't always show itself. But I could tell every parent it's there or it's being developed. And that's what you need to know when they melt down for the umpteenth time and you've gotten through it somehow. And then you come back together and you say, Whoa, that was a rough go between us, wasn't it? And I you know, I'm sorry I didn't handle that better, but I'm still with you. I still love you and I'm glad you're feeling better. That reconnection. Is building a piece of the child that goes, I'm not alone. We can get through this, I'm not alone. That's the basis of resilience.
Debbie Reber 1:11
I'm Debbie Reber, and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. Today's episode could not be more timely. We're exploring the important topic of resilience and how to support our kids in navigating the challenging times we're living through. Joining me is Dr. Tova Klein. She's the author of the wonderful new book, Raising. Resilience How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty. Tova is a renowned developmental psychologist and the director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development. With over 30 years of experience, she's dedicated her career to understanding what children need to thrive, regardless of their circumstances.
Debbie Reber 1:54
She's a sought after advisor to children's media and organizations, including National Geographic Kids and Apple T. TV. In her newest book, the one we're talking about today, Tova explains why resilience is not a fixed trait, but a skill that can be nurtured through supportive relationships and intentional parenting practices. And so that's what we get into in today's conversation. We unpack what it means to be an anchor and a container for our children. We explore Tova's five pillars of resilience, which are security and Trust, emotional regulation, agency, social connection, and self-acceptance. And we discuss why understanding our own emotional baggage is key to helping our kids build resilience.
Debbie Reber 2:40
We've talked about resilience on the show before. We've had really interesting conversations, but there's something about the way that Tova frames resiliency as a skill that's built together between parents and children that really Resonated with me. I think so often we think of resiliency as an individual trait or a characteristic, and our kids either have it or they don't. But as you'll hear in this conversation, it really all starts with the connection between ourselves and our kids. There's so much food for thought in this, there's so much hope in this conversation. I hope you enjoy it. So here is my interview with Dr. Toba Klein. Hey Tova, welcome to the podcast. Thank you, I'm excited to
Tovah P. Klein 3:26
be here.
Debbie Reber 3:27
Yeah, I'm looking forward to getting into your new book, which I'm just noticing is a USA Today national bestseller. That's very cool. It's called Raising Resilience, How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty, which we are living through. I feel like we have been for the past ten years, but every week it seems to get more and more uncertain. So very timely book. But before we dive into that, you're a new guest for the show. I've already read your formal bio, but would you take a few minutes and talk about you have a really interesting background. Tell us a little bit about how you came to write this book and your personal why in this space.
Tovah P. Klein 4:01
The idea of this book came a number of years ago, well before the pandemic, because you know, when you write a first book

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