TPP 429: Dr. Liz Angoff on Best Practices for Talking with Kids About Diagnoses

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Why is it important to talk to kids about their neurodivergence early?

Liz Angoff 0:00
Too often we go in thinking we're gonna find out what's wrong or we're gonna find out what the diagnosis is. A diagnosis is a shortcut to understanding what this mismatch is between the way your child brain works and the way the environment expects it to work. So just knowing that for ourselves. And then for our child, I really find it important to start with their words, their lived experience, and something that they know is a challenge. So it could be as simple as, you know how you've been telling me you don't like your math homework lately? Well, I found somebody who might be able to help us figure that out.
Debbie Reber 0:46
I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. Picture this. You're sitting in the neurosych's office after you just got your kid's diagnosis. You're relieved to have some information on how to help them, but you have no clue how to actually explain their neurodivergence to them. Do you talk about the science? Do you wait until there are a certain An age where they might understand more about their brains, or you might be thinking about waiting for them to start asking you questions. If you can relate, you are not alone in wondering what the best way is to have this conversation.
Debbie Reber 1:23
And the reality is, the how and when does matter. So for today's show, I'm bringing on Dr. Liz Angoff, a licensed educational psychologist who specializes in helping families reframe assessment. adjustments and diagnoses into empowering narratives that celebrate a child's unique brain. Liz has spent years working with children and families to make learning differences easier to understand. She's the author of the Brain Building Books, a resource designed to help kids see their neurodivergence as a strength rather than a limitation. In our conversation, Liz shares why early and open discussions about neurodiversity are so important, how parents can guide their children through assessments in a way that fosters trust, and why
Debbie Reber 2:06
Shifting from a deficit-based model to a discovery-based approach can be transformative for the whole family. We also explore how different kids process this information in their own ways. Some might embrace it, while others, especially teenagers, might resist labels altogether. Liz provides some thoughtful strategies to meet kids where they are and to help them feel seen and supported throughout the whole process. If you've ever struggled with how to talk to your child about their neurodivergence, this episode is full of practical insights and reassurance. I hope you enjoy it. Hey Doctor Liz, welcome to the podcast.
Liz Angoff 2:46
Hey Debbie, I'm super excited to be here.
Debbie Reber 2:50
Hey, I love it when my guests are excited to be here. That's awesome. I've been referring to your work for several years now because you have been a hub for so much information that I know my community wants specifically centered around talking to our kids about their neurodivergence. And I know you do more than that, but I'm really just looking forward to sharing your work and your ideas around these important conversations. I know it's not one conversation, but these conversations. But before we get into that, I always ask my guests to introduce themselves in their own words and connect that to their why. I always love to know why do you do what you do?
Liz Angoff 3:27
Absolutely. So I'm an educational psychologist, and I have this background in school psychology, school neuropsychology, and I am really passionate about helping kids understand their brains. Specifically, I do a lot of assessment work. So kids go through this entire assessment process, whether through their school or now that I'm a private project. With me, and then they've done all the work, but then we turn around and talk to their parents and their teachers and all the adults. And it just seems so important to talk to kids. In my why, when I first went into private practice, my very first case, the parents asked if I would explain the testing results to their child.

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