TPP 429a: Dr. Liz Angoff on Best Practices for Talking with Kids About Diagnoses

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Why is it important to start early conversations about neurodiversity with children?

Debbie Reber 0:00
Hey, it's Debbie. For the month of January, Playback Friday episodes are focused on navigating neuro psychs and assessments. If understanding and integrating what you're learning about your child feels like an ongoing part of your world, these episodes will offer guidance for the next steps. I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. Picture this, you're sitting in the neuropsych's office after you just got your kid's diagnosis. Thank you so much for having me. If you can relate, you are not alone in wondering what the best way is to have this conversation. And the reality is the how and when does matter.
Debbie Reber 1:00
So for today's show, I'm bringing on Dr. Liz Angoff, a licensed educational psychologist who specializes in helping families reframe assessments and diagnoses into empowering narratives that celebrate a child's unique brain. Liz has spent years working with children and families to make learning differences easier to understand. She's the author of the brain building books, a resource designed to help kids see their neural divergence as a strength rather than a limitation. If you've ever struggled with how to talk to your child about their neural divergence, this episode is full of practical insights and reassurance. I hope you enjoy it. Hey, Dr. Liz, welcome to the podcast.
Liz Angoff 1:45
Hey, Debbie, I'm super excited to be here.
Debbie Reber 1:48
Hey, I love it when my guests are excited to be here. That's awesome. I've been referring to your work for several years now because you have been a hub for so much information that I know my community wants specifically centered around talking to our kids about their neurodivergence. And I know you do more than that, but I'm really just looking forward to sharing your work and your ideas around these important conversations. I know it's not one conversation, but these conversations. But before we get into that, I always ask my guests to introduce themselves in their own words and connect that to their why. I always love to know why do you do what you do?
Liz Angoff 2:25
Absolutely. So I'm an educational psychologist and I have this background in school psychology, school neuropsychology, and I am really passionate about helping kids understand their brains and Specifically, I do a lot of assessment work. So kids go through this entire assessment process, whether through their school or now that I'm in private practice with me, and then they've done all the work, but then we turn around and talk to their parents and their teachers and all the adults involved. And it just seems so important to talk to kids. In my why, when I first went into private practice, my very first case, the parents asked if I would explain the testing results to their child. And it was a big aha moment because after 10 years of practicing in the schools, nobody had ever asked me that before.
Liz Angoff 3:23
And so I prepared a lot. I put together a bunch of materials, all kinds of hands-on visuals, then a metaphor, sat down with the kid and said, I want to talk to you because we learned that you're dyslexic. And his head went down to the table. He started crying, ran out of the room. It was devastating. And I had no idea what had gone wrong. So I started talking to colleagues. And the main advice I got was, you started too young. We just need to wait till kids start to ask us. And at the same time, I was working with a lot of adults who had learning and developmental differences. And so I started asking them, what did you understand about your brain when you were young? And inevitably, they said, I just assumed I was stupid.
Liz Angoff 4:10
I was told I was lazy. And just heartbreaking story after heartbreaking story about what that narrative was. But it was clear that they had started to create that narrative really, really young. And so it wasn't an option for me to wait. I realized that we have this opportunity to really start helping kids create this empowered and positive narrative around how their brain works from a very young age.

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