TPP 435: William Stixrud and Ned Johnson on the Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
43 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 8 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the new workbook and why was it created?
What are we going to do as parents? What do we think is right? What's the right thing for us to do? And then to do that and not try to change the kid. I think that the idea that you really try to make somebody do something, you try to make a two-year-old do something, and they lay on the ground and start screaming. If the idea is getting in the car, you can pick them up and put them in the car, but they aren't getting in the car. You simply can't make an infant stop crying. You can't make them eat. And once we make peace with the fact that force doesn't work, We can't make people do things. Force is off the table. Then we're more flexible. Then we think more flexibly. We find other ways to help to influence people and help them find their own reasons to change.
I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I am thrilled to welcome back two favorite podcast guests and just all around wonderful humans, Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson. You might know them from their bestselling book, The Self-Driven Child, which I often refer to on the show as one of the most important resources in my parenting life. Well, Bill and Ned have a new phenomenal resource that I cannot wait to share with you. It's a workbook based on their beloved book called The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child. And a little side note, if this is your first time hearing about the self-driven child, I recommend you start with my first conversation with Bill and Ned.
You can find the link in the show notes page for this episode, which is at TiltParenting.com slash session 435. But let me give you a little background on Bill and Ned before we get into this. Bill is a clinical neuropsychologist and founder of the Styx Root Group, specializing in adolescent brain development, stress, and motivation. He's a member of the teaching faculty at Children's National Medical Center and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Ned is president and tutor geek of PrepMatters, an educational company providing academic tutoring and standardized test preparation. A battle-tested veteran of test prep, stress regulation, and optimizing student performance, Ned has spent roughly 50,000 one-on-one hours helping students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests, learn to manage their anxiety, and develop their own motivation to succeed.
He's also the host of the Self-Driven Podcast. Together, Bill and Ned have authored the book I mentioned earlier, The Self-Driven Child, as well as What Do You Say? How to Talk to Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home. And of course, the new workbook we're talking about today, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child.
How do Bill and Ned explain the importance of fostering autonomy in children?
So in this episode, we have a rich and deep conversation about some of the concepts they support parents in navigating in their new workbook, like why fostering autonomy is key to motivation, emotional well-being, and long-term success. Why connection matters more than control. How to support our kids without trying to change them. And ways we can create a home environment that builds confidence and trust. They also share practical strategies for effective communication, including how to guide our kids through challenges without adding pressure or anxiety. As parents, it's really scary to let go of control and to trust our kids to navigate their own problems. But as you will hear in this conversation, this is exactly what they need to be motivated.
We know we can't change them, but we can support them in finding the reason to change for themselves. So let's dive in. Hey, Bill and Ned, welcome back to the podcast.
Great to be back. Thanks, Debbie. We always love talking together.
Well, I feel the same. I know you guys both personally. I consider you friends and colleagues, and I'm also a fan. So I'm in this really interesting position. But I always refer to your work, The Self-Driven Child.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the new workbook and why was it created?
0:00–2:44
2
How do Bill and Ned explain the importance of fostering autonomy in children?
2:44–6:18
3
Why does connection matter more than control, and how can parents practice it?
6:18–11:49
4
What practical strategies help parents support kids without trying to change them?
11:49–19:11
5
How can parents use reflective exercises to build confidence and trust at home?
19:11–25:17
6
What does ‘motivate your child without trying to change them’ look like in real life?
25:17–31:10
7
How do the seven principles apply to neurodiverse children and school environments?
31:10–38:32
8
What are the key take‑aways and next steps for listeners interested in the workbook?
38:32–43:19
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids