TPP 441: A Conversation with Tosha Schore about Addressing Aggression in Boys
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
42 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 15 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the purpose of this episode and who is the guest?
We do a lot of hoping and wishing and praying that things would be different. And then that gets in the way of us actually being able to make a plan. So I talk to parents often about hey, your kid is at a place where you ask him to turn off the remote. And he calls you five expletives. Do we wanna be here? No. Not fun. Do we wish we were somewhere else? Absolutely. But we could stand here and say, Hey, you know, come over here, kiddo. Like you don't wanna be acting like that. Like that's not very fun and that's not gonna get you where you wanna be in life. But it doesn't work. He doesn't come towards us. So instead, like we have to go all the way over to where he is. in his scary, uncomfortable place. And then slowly hand in hand kind of walk back towards where we want to go together.
I'm Debbie Reber, and this is Till Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising neurodivergent kids. Today we're talking about aggression, specifically in boys, and how we as parents can respond with understanding, connection, and compassion instead of fear or shaming. Joining me for this episode is Tasha Shore, the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully. The creator of the Out with Aggression program, and co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Tasha has spent decades in helping parents shift the way they relate to their kids, especially when big behaviors show up. In this conversation, Tasha and I got into the roots of aggressive behavior in boys and how it's so often a signal, not of defiance, but of fear or frustration.
We explored how society often mislabels boys as bad when they make mistakes with little room for second chances, and Tasha shared what it means to truly listen to our kids, how to build safe spaces for them to express themselves without shame, and why emotional connection, not punishment, is the key to long-term growth and emotional development. If aggression is something your family is struggling with right now, this conversation is for you. And if you find it valuable, and I think you will, please consider sharing it with other parents who might need to hear this information right now. Thanks so much, and here is my episode with Tasha Shore. Hey Tasha, welcome to the podcast.
Hi Debbie, thank you for inviting me on.
Yes, I said this to you before I hit record, but you are someone whose name I've seen. We've been in similar summits. We have mutual friends. I think of you as a colleague, yet we have never actually met. You haven't been on the show before. So I just want to give you a hearty welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast and community.
Thank you.
Before we get into our topic for today, which I'm really looking forward to exploring with you. I would love if you kind of beyond the formal bio, tell us a little bit about the work that you do in parenting voice peacefully and I guess really your why. I'm always curious to know, like what is it about this work that drew you to it and that keeps you going?
I have two different ways that I got here, I think. There are two different stories that I like to tell because I think they illustrate two different pieces of my why. And one is I grew up pretty much with my mom in the seventies in the San Francisco Bay Area. We were very much a part of the women's movement and that protests and fighting for women's rights and my world was women and girls and girl power and I felt very empowered and it was an exciting time. And I went to college and I studied women's studies and fast forward a little bit, I ended up partnering up and when I was pregnant, I remember sort of laying on my couch and then all of a sudden having this realization, what if I have a boy? Which is sort of like a weird thing.
Like, so what if I have a boy? Right. But like it just I'm gonna be honest, it popped into my head. What if I have a boy? And so what do I do? I called my mom. I said, Mom, what if I have a boy? And it was just silence on the other end of the line.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the purpose of this episode and who is the guest?
0:00–5:22
2
How does Tosha explain the root causes of aggression in boys?
5:22–11:09
3
Why does Tosha say aggression is often a signal of fear or frustration?
11:09–19:36
4
How does society’s labeling of boys as “bad” affect their emotional development?
19:36–27:44
5
What practical steps can parents take to create safe, shame‑free spaces for aggressive boys?
27:44–32:30
6
How do executive‑function challenges relate to aggressive behavior?
32:30–37:03
7
What are effective, connection‑based strategies for handling aggressive language in public?
37:03–42:13
8
What resources and next steps does Tosha recommend for parents dealing with aggression?
42:13–42:40
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids