TPP 444: Help! My Child's Self-Esteem is Terrible and I Don't Know What to Do

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Unknown 0:00
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Debbie Reber 0:29
I'm Debbie Rieber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I get a lot of questions from listeners looking for help navigating complex situations with their kids. So in this new mini-episode format, I'll be answering listener questions, sometimes all on my own, sometimes with one of the parent coaches from the Differently Wired Club, and sometimes with an author or expert who's become a trusted resource. Think of these bite-sized, short and sweet parent-lean-in episodes as a quick check-in. one answer featuring strategies, tips, or reframes that can support you in your parenting world.
Debbie Reber 1:10
To submit a question for a parent lean-in episode, just go to tiltparenting.com slash lean in. That's tiltparenting.com slash L E A N I N. Alright, here's today's episode. Today I have educator Zach Morris with me for this parent link episode. And for those of you who don't know Zach, Zach specializes in working with parents and young adults who are navigating the complex dynamics of neurodivergent experience. Zach is uniquely equipped to serve families with profiles of autism, especially PDA. I know we have a lot of listeners with kids who have some demand avoidance tendencies, families who are navigating trauma, and families that are needing to heal and repair. relationships and Zach's been on the show many times, so I'll have links to some of those past visits on the show notes page.
Debbie Reber 2:04
And he's also a parent coach in my Differently Wired Club. So hello, Zach, and welcome. Thanks for doing this with me today.
Zach Morris 2:11
Hi Debbie, thanks for having me.
Debbie Reber 2:13
course. I always love these conversations with you. We are going to tackle a really good question as with most of the questions we we go into. I think um this is one that is going to resonate with a lot of listeners in some capacity.

What is the listener’s question about a neurodivergent child’s low self‑esteem?

Debbie Reber 2:27
So The question is, how can I improve my child's self-esteem despite what feels like contact affirmations from me about how I love him always and no matter what, whether he's happy Angry, sweet, or sour. He has taken us saying he's the worst and that we don't really love him or that we hate him. How can I help him feel more confident? And a little context we got for this question. This is a seven-year-old boy who is autistic, gifted, Tourette's ADHD-like symptoms. He has some issues with sensory overload and frustration tolerance. He doesn't yet know all his diagnoses. Yeah. because of this complex profile which continues to change. What they say is all brains work differently and that that's a good thing.
Debbie Reber 3:12
So Zach, I'm actually gonna ask you to kick us off with this one. I'd love to hear what came up for you when you heard this question.
Zach Morris 3:21
Yeah, you know, the the first thing that came up for me is just how complex of sort of processes may be going on for kiddo here that um is contributing to some of this. So I think that's that's sort of the first thing I'm thinking about is even just making sense of of sort of what's maybe going on here. You know, and and I think about, you know, kiddos like this, right? Kiddos with this neurotype, this type of nervous. system that I I just may be more susceptible to also experiencing threat. And so Even inside of so many of the support offerings or affirmations or all of those things, there's so much out there that that we don't know that might be just sort of being picked up on as threat that again isn't logical or doesn't, you know, doesn't sort of track reason-based.
Zach Morris 4:13
And that could literally just be how I'm perceiving a certain tone, or how, you know, even though someone else might perceive that tone reasonably.

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