TPP 449: How Can I Help My Neurodivergent Child Connect with Neurotypical Peers?
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
18 min
2 speakers
4 chapters
transcribed 9 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the listener’s question about supporting a neurodivergent child’s friendships?
I'm Debbie Riebert and this is Full Tilt Parenting, a podcast for parents raising neurodivergent kids in a strength-based neurodiversity-affirming way. And this is a parent lean an episode, which means I answer a listener's question often with the help of one of my fabulous parent coaches from the Differently Wired Club community. And so if you're listening to this and you want to submit a question for a future parent lean an episode. These are kinda like snack size episodes. You can go to tildeparenting.com/slash lean in, and that's L-E-A-N-I-N. And so today I have Margaret Webb joining me. If she's not on your radar, she is the author of the amazing book, A Hero's Journey in Parenting, Parenting the Child You Didn't Expect When You Were Expecting.
She was also my parenting coach uh back in the day, and she still shows up for me when I when I need it, which I'm very grateful for. for and she's also the lead parent coach in my Definitely Wired Club and she just beautifully supports the parents in that community. So thank you so much for being here, Margaret. I'm excited to be here. Well, let's get right into it. Let's get to today's question. So this listener asks, What is the best way to support my seven-year-old autistic son in connecting with neurotypical peers when his social skills aren't quite aligned? He's sweet, social, and verbal, though not as fluent or nuanced as his classmates. While he gets invited to parties and seems liked, I can tell he doesn't quite know how to engage in a reciprocal way.
He wants friends to come over, but I worry about rejection of kids. say no or things getting awkward if he loses interest mid play date, which has happened before. I want to support his desire to connect, but I'm not sure what my role should be, especially since I'm not super socially confident myself. So great question. And one that I think a lot of parents are going to relay to social stuff comes up all the time in our community. Um, and it's something I've spent a lot of time thinking about personally. And yeah, I just wanna just say you are in good company if this is something that you're concerned about. Yes. So before we get to answering the question, let's take our sponsor break now. We're so thankful for a sponsor here at Chill Parenting.
We're gonna take a break now and then when we come back, we'll just give our thoughts on this awesome question. Okay, so we're back and we're gonna be talking about helping this parent support her seven-year-old autistic son and connecting with neurotypical peers when social skills aren't aligned. And the good news is this is a kid who is socially motivated and kind of wants that connection and as a parent, we can be really worried about, you know, what is gonna happen if my child's rejected or my child is made fun of or excluded because the way that they show up to those relationships might look very different. I guess before I even start sharing some thoughts for how to kind of scaffold for your kiddo, I would
Just invite you to get really clear on your own. anxieties around social stuff. This is a button, a hot button for a lot of parents, because, you know, we read the articles and we hear about the importance of belonging and social connection and all of those things. And when we have kids whose social lives look very different than maybe ours did, or what we think they should look like, or what they look like on TV, or what we see our friends' kids' social lives looking like. That can really strike a lot of fear and worry and concern and anxiety in our hearts and minds. So even before you start thinking about how to support your s your son, your child, I would get really clear on, okay, what's my worry here and where does my stuff?
interfering or influencing my thinking or decisions that I'm making. And Margaret's nodding her head so I know that she's in agreement with me.
Yes, I am like that was it a bunch of notes that I had Right off the bat. Of just, you know, play dates. Like there's there you know, it's kind of one of those things where it's like, Oh, I have kids, you know, and and when they get to a certain age, then we have play dates.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the listener’s question about supporting a neurodivergent child’s friendships?
0:02–5:57
2
How can parents identify and manage their own anxieties before helping their child socialize?
5:57–11:04
3
Why is it important to set realistic expectations for playdates and avoid pressure?
11:04–13:53
4
What strategies can parents use to scaffold a successful playdate for their autistic child?
13:53–18:17
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids