TPP 454: What Do I Do When My 18-year-old Is Stalled Out and Not Ready to Launch?
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
24 min
2 speakers
6 chapters
transcribed 8 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Hey there, I'm Debbie Rieber, and this is Full Tilt Parenting. It's a podcast for parents raising neurodivergent kids in a strength-based neurodiversity affirming way. This is a parent lean-in episode, which means I answer listeners' questions often with the help of one of my parent coaches from the Differently Wired Club community, which is what I'm doing today. Um, to submit a question for a future parent lean-in episode, you can go to Tilt. parenting.com slash lean in and then you can submit it there. But today I have Zach Morris joining me. Zach is someone who specializes in working with parents and young adults who are navigating the complex journey of neurodivergent experience. And he is uniquely equipped to serve families with profiles of autism, especially PDA.
It's an area of expertise for you. families who are navigating trauma and families who are needing to heal and repair relationships. And of course Zach is also a parent coach in my differently wired club. So hi Zach. Welcome.
I'm Debbie. Thanks for having me. Happy to be here.
All right. Let's get into today's question. So this parent writes, What avenues should parents consider when their neurodivergent teen is nearly 18, yet is still operating with significant mental, physical, academic, and social deficits despite years of intervention and support? We've provided our son with medical, therapeutic, academic, and spiritual supports and interventions, yet he continues to decline. school refusal, isolation, physical health decline, job loss, and zero contribution to the family unit. While we continue individual and family therapy, what should we do during this quote unquote extended runway to launch? Tensions are high, relationships among family members are fragile, and the post high school plan is bleak.
What should parents do when their neurodivergent child refuses support or strategies and how much failure is safe? Woo. Okay. So that's a really big question. And I was thinking, let's take our sponsor break now. And then when we get back, we won't have any interruptions and we'll dive right in. So we will be right back.
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It's Maybelline. Okay, and we're back. And again, this is a really big question about a nearly eighteen year old who is not thriving as this parent describes it and is kind of sounds like very kind of stuck and this trajectory is looking different. Uh and the parent wants to know what should we do? when the tensions are high, the post high school plan is bleak, and what should we be doing during this extended runway to launch? So I just want to first of all acknowledge how hard this is when you have, you know, when you're at the it's hard at any time, right? When our kids aren't thriving. And I think this age and stage is particularly tricky because there are so many like external markers about what should be happening right now, you know, and even if we know our kids are on a different developmental timeline, we still might have this idea that, yeah, but right, my child should be.
you know, moving forward this way or has to at least have a plan. And then, you know, this person commented on the the family member dynamic and that that is adding stress. And so I imagine that there's a lot of pressure and judgment perhaps. And so that can really start spinning in the parents' head.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–6:31
2
What is the listener’s main question about an 18‑year‑old neurodivergent teen who isn’t ready to launch?
6:31–13:19
3
How does society’s view of turning 18 affect parents of neurodivergent teens?
13:19–16:07
4
Why is processing parental grief essential when a teen’s progress stalls?
16:07–18:43
5
What role do clear, compassionate boundaries play in supporting a struggling teen?
18:43–22:14
6
How can parents redefine success and failure for a neurodivergent young adult?
22:14–24:21
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids