TPP 493: Patty Laushman on Parenting for Independence: Strategies for the Transition to Adulthood
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
40 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed just now
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the concept of “failure to launch” and why is it considered unhelpful?
I'm Debbie Reber, and this is Full Tilt Parenting. Today, we're talking about one of the most misunderstood stages of parenting, supporting our neurodivergent kids as they move into emerging adulthood. My guest is Patti Lauschman, an author, speaker, and autism life coach who brings both professional expertise and lived experience as the mom of a neurodivergent son. Patti is the founder and head coach at Thrive Autism Coaching, where she supports neurodivergent teens, adults, and their families in building skills, confidence, and momentum toward more meaningful lives. She's also the author of the new book, Parenting for Independence, Overcoming a Failure to Launch in Autistic Emerging Adults. So in this conversation, Patty and I are going to actually unpack that concept of quote unquote failure to launch and explore why that label can actually be unhelpful and inaccurate and how redefining independence can change everything.
We'll talk about self-determination, motivation, and what support actually looks like during this phase of life. Patty will also share her SBN parenting framework. It stands for support boundaries and nudges, and she'll offer guidance for navigating this transition while strengthening trust and connection along the way. If you're parenting a neurodivergent older teen or young adult, this is a must listen. Here's my conversation with Patty. Hey, Patty, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me, Debbie. I really
appreciate it.
Yeah, well, I appreciate having the chance to talk about launching. It is something I get a lot of questions about, especially being the parent of a 21-year-old. I actually did a double episode on this last week. fall. I heard it. It was good. And there's so much more to talk about, but I really appreciate that you've created a resource that's really to help parents navigate this time, which can be really tricky and complicated. So as a way to start our conversation, would you take a few minutes and just give us a little bit more info about who you are in the world and why you came to be doing this work and supporting parents with their NeuroDivergent Kids launch?
Sure. So I am the mother of a multi exceptional neurodivergent son. And we really struggled the first eight and a half years of his life, we didn't have the full picture until we got all these incremental diagnoses. And then finally, at eight and a half, he was correctly identified as autistic. And that was really the missing piece for us. It really helped us understand what what he was experiencing, what his perspective was. And until we took that into account, all these things we were trying to do to help him were not working. So when we got that correct identification, it was such a positive thing for our family because suddenly what we were doing to try to help him was working because it was informed it was autism informed so i had to pull him out of public school to start homeschooling because public school was just an unmitigated disaster and i had been researching for years prior to that how to teach someone who is dyslexic dysgraphic dyscalculic
And so once I pulled him to homeschool, things got really real. And now I am the one on the hook for educating this really unique brain. So I spent years doing that. I had to slow down my consulting practice to focus on helping him. But I started figuring these things out and he started thriving and it was amazing. And then I had more time to focus on my career. At a certain point, I decided that I didn't want to do sales development consulting anymore. And I was looking for something else early in the pandemic and considered going back to school to become a mental health therapist specializing in autism. But when I looked at the reality of what that was going to cost and how long it would take I was interviewing other mental health therapists who specialized in autism and one of them said to me, she was like, why do you want to start over at your age?
Like, why don't you just go to Boston, talk to AA&E, do their life map coach training and become an autism life coach?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the concept of “failure to launch” and why is it considered unhelpful?
0:02–5:41
2
How did Patty Laushman’s personal journey lead to the creation of the SBN parenting framework?
5:41–10:59
3
What age range defines “emerging adulthood” for neurodivergent individuals?
10:59–15:27
4
How does self‑determination theory shape independence for autistic emerging adults?
15:27–20:24
5
What are the main factors that cause “stuckness” in autistic emerging adults?
20:24–26:05
6
What are the three components of the SBN parenting framework and how are they applied?
26:05–31:01
7
How can parents set effective boundaries and gentle nudges without triggering resistance?
31:01–35:55
8
How should parents adjust expectations and timelines for their adult child’s independence?
35:55–40:26
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids