TPP 496: Dr. Ellen Braaten on Helping Teens and Tweens Discover What they Love to Do
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
35 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 hour ago
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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I'm Debbie Reber, and this is Full Tilled Parenting. And today I'm bringing back to the show Dr. Ellen Broughton for another great conversation about motivation. What it is, what it isn't, and why so many of our neurodivergent kids get mislabeled as unmotivated when the real story is far more nuanced. Ellen is founding director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program at Massachusetts General Hospital and an associate professor. Professor at Harvard Medical School and the author of several books for parents and professionals, including Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up About Processing Speed, and Bright Kids Who Couldn't Care Less. Her brand new book that we're going to dive into today is called The Motivation Mindset Workbook: Helping Teens and Tweens Discover What They Love To Do.
We're going to get into whether or not motivation is a fixed trait. Spoiler alert, it's not. How I Identity shapes whether kids lean in or shut down, and what often gets in the way for neurodivergent learners. But the big idea here is the tremendous power in giving kids the space to discover who they are and understand what genuinely interests them when it comes to helping them be more resilient and engage more meaningfully in their lives. So if you have a kiddo who you feel is not motivated or really excited about things in their life, This is a must listen to. I hope you enjoy it. Hey Ellen, welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for having me. Well, I'm always happy when you want to join me on the show.
We have very interesting conversations. And listeners, just I'll say right now, if you haven't heard Ellen's past two visits, I will have a link in the show notes. The last time you were on the show, we talked about your book about motivation, Bright Kids Who Couldn't Care Less, How to Rekindle Your Child's Motivation. And so this is taking it to the next level. As a way to get into our conversation, I'm really just curious what is it about
What is motivation and why is it often misunderstood for neurodivergent kids?
about motivation that intrigues you so much, motivation in kids.
Well, I think what I have found as a psychologist is motivation is really it's the fire that gets us going. And so I evaluate kids with learning differences and ADHD and slow processing speed and other sorts of issues. And the ones who kind of lose motivation are the ones who are having trouble using the services that people are providing to them. They are having trouble figuring out Who they are, what they want to do, they have trouble launching into adulthood. So the longer I've been a psychologist, the more I realize how important motivation is. So we talk a lot about decreasing anxiety, decreasing depression, making kids have all the accommodations that they need. But if they're not motivated, and motivation is really about kind of like understanding who you are, if they don't know that.
None of the things that we put in place for them, none of the perfect parenting sorts of techniques that we have are actually all that good if they don't know how to stay motivated and what really gives them that spark in life.
Yeah, the word motivation is often paired with laziness. I think about conversations I've had with parents in my community and it is really, really challenging for parents to feel like their kid is kind of aimlessly blowing in the wind and nothing seems to matter to them. And that word laziness does often creep into there too, depending on how the child's kind of experiencing their daily life. In a general sense, when parents say my kid's unmotivated, what do you think is really going on behind the surface?
So I think there are a number of things that can go on behind the surface. So one is that the child doesn't have the skill set to do what it is they need to do.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–2:19
2
What is motivation and why is it often misunderstood for neurodivergent kids?
2:19–5:28
3
How does Dr. Ellen Braaten explain that motivation is not a fixed trait?
5:28–8:57
4
Why do many parents label their children as “unmotivated” and what’s really happening underneath?
8:57–11:11
5
How can helping teens identify their strengths and values spark authentic motivation?
11:11–14:53
6
What role does responsibility and real‑world experience play in boosting engagement?
14:53–19:02
7
How does the VIA (Values Inventory Assessment) help kids discover their character strengths?
19:02–24:48
8
What practical workbook activities help teens and tweens uncover what they love to do?
24:48–35:23
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids