TPP 501: An Intimate Conversation with Debbie & Derin About Their Co-Parenting Journey (Part 3)
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
39 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 2 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
How did Debbie and Derin’s co‑parenting journey begin and why did they decide to record a follow‑up after eight years?
I'm Debbie Reber, and this is Full Tilt Parenting. And I have a very special episode for you today because I have invited my husband, Darren, to join me for a follow-up conversation on how things are going in our parenting slash partner dynamic. And I say follow-up because we've done two episodes together before, but it's been a while. The last one we did was actually in 2008. 18. So eight years ago. A lot's changed since then. Some things haven't changed at all. And one of the things I get asked often in my community and from listeners is how do we do this as a couple when our partner's not on the same page? What does that look like and how can we make this work? So we thought we would catch you guys up on what has looked like over the past eight years going through adolescence and now having a young
young adult who we are supporting and scaffolding from afar. Well, Darren and I are figuring out how to do that together. So we didn't do a lot of prep for this. We had some things we knew we wanted to talk about and then we just started recording and thought we would see what came out. So I think it's surprised to both of us and I hope it is really helpful for you. I know with the first two episodes and I'll include links in the show notes pages for both of those. But we heard from a lot of listeners that they were very helpful to listen to with a partner or to listen to separately and then come back. and talk about it together. So I hope this is another episode that can be supportive and helpful for whatever's happening in your relationship as you're parenting your neurodivergent kiddos.
Also if you want to watch this conversation, you can always head over to our YouTube channel that's at Full Tilt Parenting. And while you're there, feel free to subscribe, share it with a friend, help us spread the word. Okay, so here is Darren joining me for a very special episode. I hope you enjoy it. Hey Darren, welcome back to the podcast.
Thanks for having me, Debbie.
So those of you if you're watching this on YouTube and you haven't met my husband, this is Darren and we are doing a special episode together. And this is actually the first time we've recorded together for the show in eight years.
Wow. Eight years.
Yeah.
Goodness.
And just for listeners who haven't heard those conversations, we've done two conversations in the past and they were centered on our experience of parenting our unique neurodivergent child together. And I will include links in the show notes if you haven't listened to them. They're definitely worth going back and listening to because we talked a lot about how We got on the same page and how messy that was. Not that we're still always on the same page today, but we shared a lot of our journey when our kid was younger and we were really just figuring out what the heck is going on here in it. Yeah. We thought because we get so many questions now that our child is twenty-one, is away at university, and we're still in it, it just looks different.
But we get a lot of questions. about what this looks like and we thought it might be helpful to do another episode where we'd kind of catch people up on what's been happening in our life. Also if you're watching this on YouTube, I don't have a studio that's set up for us to be in the same room. So I'm upstairs. Darren's downstairs in the dining room. So that's what's happening. But we are in the same home. So I thought Darren that we would start by catching people up on where we are for those again who don't know us in context. So from eight years to now, you want to just tell people where we're living right now and kind of what our life looks like a little bit.
We have moved back to Amsterdam from Brooklyn. We're living in Brooklyn for a while and we worked hard to get back to our beloved city of Amsterdam. We've been here for almost two years. So much has happened.
The last time we recorded, we were living here, we had a 13 year old. And in the eight years between then and now, we moved back to Brooklyn. Our kiddo did high school in New York at a very unique high school.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How did Debbie and Derin’s co‑parenting journey begin and why did they decide to record a follow‑up after eight years?
0:03–5:38
2
What major moves and life changes (Amsterdam ↔︎ Brooklyn, COVID, high school) shaped their family dynamics?
5:38–10:47
3
How did the teen years affect their partnership and what routines helped them stay connected?
10:47–16:09
4
Why did they start taking long walks together and how did those walks improve communication during stressful periods?
16:09–21:06
5
What strategies did they use to support their neurodivergent child’s transition to college and increased independence?
21:06–25:43
6
How did they navigate the shift in caregiving roles and manage anxiety around the child’s autonomy?
25:43–29:54
7
What self‑regulation practices and personal growth habits kept their relationship resilient this year?
29:54–34:17
8
What advice do Debbie and Derin have for couples feeling disconnected while parenting neurodivergent teens?
34:17–39:54
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids