TPP 517: James Guttman on Becoming the Father His Autistic Son Needed
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
29 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 9 hours ago
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why did James Guttman decide to write *Hi World, I’m Dad*?
I'm Debbie Rieber and this is Full Tilt Parenting. Today I'm talking with James Gutman. He's the author of Hi World, I'm Dad, How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation. James is the father of a non-speaking autistic son and a neurotypical daughter. And through his writing and his podcast, he shares an honest, deeply personal perspective on fatherhood, autism, and the journey toward acceptance. One of the reasons I wanted to have James on the show is because we so rarely hear fathers' voices in conversations about raising neurodivergent kids. And like all of us, James's understanding has evolved over time. Time, and I really appreciated the opportunity to talk with him about that evolution, what he's learned from his son, and why acceptance has become such a central part of his story.
So in this conversation, we talk about fatherhood, acceptance, community, and the unexpected ways our neurodivergent kids can change us for the better. So here's James Gutman. Hey James, welcome to the podcast.
Hi, Debbie. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
When I heard about your book, it's called Hi World. I'm Dad. And I heard about it from your publisher, Jessica Kingsley Publishers. And we often don't hear the perspective of dads raising neurodivergent kids, right? So you're gonna represent all of them today. No, but I do wanna hear about your experience. So Would you mind just kind of telling us a little bit? I know your book is about your story, so we don't have to go into too much detail, but just explain to start why you wanted to write this book, kind of the lens that you're coming to this with.
So I'm a father, I have two kids. My daughter's seventeen years old. She's neurotypical. Usually that's the one when I tell people about my kids, they're like, Oh, that's hard and I'm like, and I have a nonverbal son. They're like, Yeah, but you have a seventeen year old daughter. So my two kids are both very unique. They're both my two favorite people in the world. I tell my daughter, I have a million people in my life that I have a relationship similar to yours, and you are my favorite one. And Lucas, I have no relationship with anybody else in the world like him, and he is the most unique favorite person I have. So I'm lucky to be able to say that I love both my kids equally, both number one in my life.
Lucas started getting diagnosed with autism, or actually, I should say the signs started coming up. Around. early, like one and a half. We we noticed when he couldn't do tummy time. He couldn't even lift his head. They told us he had low tone. And I was stressed constantly. It was nonstop for about a year and a half. And as I tell in the book, and I tell sometimes when I speak in different places, I thought about it constantly until the day I had a heart attack in twenty twelve, December thirteenth, twenty twelve, and I found out I needed a quintuple bypass that night. Went to the hospital, I had the surgery, I thought I was gonna die. And I noticed that after a few days I had missed my kids and I hadn't thought about autism at all and the worries and the concerns.
And I felt silly. I was like, I'm so worried about This kid, but he's my son and I love my son and if he can talk or if he doesn't, it doesn't matter. I just want to see him. Went back to the house and I'll never forget the day it happened. I was sitting on my couch and he was playing with a toy and he had a toy phone and he would take it by the string and he would pull it out from under the couch and watch it in the mirror as it went back and forth under the couch. I'm like, what is he doing? And for the first time I went over to him and I didn't say, No, Lucas, we go, Hello, ring, ring, you're doing it wrong. I let it be and I looked at him and he gave me the string and I did it myself. And I did it the same way he did.
I watched it in the mirror to figure it out. And he gave me a hug. And it was like such a moment. I felt like it was the first time for this poor kid that people weren't telling him how to do things that he was doing already.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why did James Guttman decide to write *Hi World, I’m Dad*?
0:03–3:54
2
How did James’s 2012 heart attack change his perspective on parenting?
3:54–7:47
3
What does James say about the unique challenges fathers face when raising neuro‑divergent children?
7:47–11:39
4
How does James describe the shift from “fixing” his son to truly accepting his autism?
11:39–15:12
5
What role does community (or the lack of it) play for dads of autistic kids?
15:12–19:59
6
How do James and his daughter navigate their sibling relationship and responsibilities?
19:59–23:33
7
In what ways has Lucas (James’s son) transformed James as a father, man, and person?
23:33–26:32
8
Where can listeners connect with James and find more resources on autism parenting?
26:32–29:20
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids