Single at Heart: What if You Don't Need Someone Else to “Complete” You | Bella DePaulo, PhD
episodePreviously titled “Single at Heart: What if You Don't Need Someone Else to “Complete” You | Bella DePaulo, PhD | Bella DePaulo, PhD” — renamed by the publisher on Sep 11, 2026
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Why do people doubt someone who says they’re genuinely happy being single?
So bizarre fact, if you tell people you're genuinely happy being single, many won't believe you. In fact, they'll often call you a liar, and if not to your face, then behind your back. And if you fight them on it, they'll tell you you're lying to yourself. And by the way, if you are a coupled person, you may in fact be among the doubters when it comes to your single at heart friends. Can you really be genuinely, deeply satisfied with your life without a partner? That's what we're digging into today with Harvard trained researcher Bella DiPalo, author of Single at Heart The Power, Freedom and Heartfilling Joy of Single Life. Bella has spent more than three decades studying what happens when someone is genuinely
Unapologetically happy being single. And here's a little bit of a sneak peek. One thing that just keeps showing up in the data, people just don't believe them. This data is wild. She'll dive into it. In this conversation you'll also discover why when people are shown identical descriptions of a single person or a married person, they They assume the single one is exaggerating their happiness. We'll talk about how one single sentence clipped from a newspaper in nineteen ninety two set off three decades of research. We'll explore what actually separates a nourishing solitude from a harmful loneliness and it isn't a personality thing. We'll explore why married people tend to actually grow more isolated over time and we'll explain.
What that quietly costs them years later. And how people who focus more on finding the ones, not the one, often end up living more connected, enjoyable lives. So excited to share this conversation with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. And we'll jump right in after this short break. Mm. Mm-hmm. Hey, I want to invite you to something special. So I have been having a version of the same conversation lately with folks in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. The kids moved out, a parent needs care, or work is starting to kind of feel like an outfit that you've outgrown. And at the same time, you also know that you're not anywhere close to being done. You know, underneath it is this lament. I don't know what I want this next season to look like.
But I know it has to feel different. And that can be about work, it can be about health, relationships, purpose, creativity, pretty much anything. It's tempting to try and study or plan or think your way forward. You read all the books and yes, you listen to all the podcasts. But genuine lasting change, especially in midlife and beyond, is It only happens by doing your way there. Which is why we created Midlife Design Lab immersion for you. So it begins with a two-day retreat with me in the gorgeous mountain town of Boulder, Colorado, October twenty-fourth to twenty-fifth this year, alongside a curated group of just eight to twelve midlife designers just like you. And we'll strip away outside expectations, we'll clarify who you are now and what truly matters.
what matters as you create this next season and build your midlife design compass and you'll start actually acting even before you fly home or drive home depending where you live. And then we'll stay together for three months with twice monthly virtual group coaching to experiment and adjust and bring your vision to life with complete support so you're not left to figure it out or try to take action alone anymore. And when we announced this uh a few days ago, applications came in almost immediately. Enrollment closes once all twelve people sign up, after which we'll then start a waitlist for 2027. So if you're interested, please don't wait. Click the link in the show notes for details, for reflection from past participants and retreats and a brief application.
It's simply about finding the right mutual fit. So check out the link now in the show notes. So let's take a step back in time. Um December seventeenth, nineteen ninety two. You clipped one sentence out of a newspaper. The line was, and tell me if I'm getting this right, remember that one is a whole number.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do people doubt someone who says they’re genuinely happy being single?
0:00–6:08
2
What was the 1992 newspaper sentence that sparked Bella DePaulo’s research?
6:08–12:13
3
How does Bella define “single‑at‑heart” and how is it different from other single labels?
12:13–18:15
4
What separates nourishing solitude from harmful loneliness according to the research?
18:15–25:07
5
Why do married people become more socially isolated over time?
25:07–31:33
6
How did single‑at‑heart people fare during the pandemic lockdown?
31:33–38:18
7
What gender differences did the global survey reveal about thriving while single?
38:18–44:28
8
What practical actions can listeners take to live a “good life” as a single‑at‑heart person?
44:28–51:11
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Good Life Project
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