Episode 408: Robert Greene: Are We All Narcissists? + Tips for Self-Awareness
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What is the main theme of narcissism discussed in this episode?
Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits & Hustle. Crush it! Hey friends, you're listening to Fitness Friday on the Habits & Hustle podcast, where myself and my friends share quick and very actionable advice for you becoming your healthiest self. So stay tuned and let me know how you leveled up.
How does childhood impact the development of narcissistic tendencies?
One of your things was, and I think it was 48 Laws of Power, was to be kind of like, to kind of be flamboyant in a way, to stand out, right? That's one of your points. So at what point is someone being authentic and that's who they are versus putting on a show or an act because they know they're being somewhat manipulative because they know, like a Madonna, for example, or that if they don't stand out, they'll just kind of like fade into the background, right?
Well, the quality of being a kind of a show off is something that you either have or don't have. It's hard to put it on. It's hard to fake it. You know, what you can do is you can learn, you sense when you're a child, when you're eight years old, that when I'm dramatic, When I make a show of something, when I have a tantrum, people pay attention to me. And then you learn, if you're a manipulative type or you're power hungry, learn how to use that energy. Maybe you become an actor. Maybe you become a politician or whatever. And you channel it into that and you learn to exaggerate it. You learn to use it for effect. But I don't think you can turn an introvert into someone who likes to show off and be an exhibitionist.
What are the nine types of seducers and how do they relate to narcissism?
I think it's very difficult because you have to kind of have pleasure and enjoy that element of getting that kind of attention. And not everybody has that. So the art of seduction is all about that. The art of seduction, I talk about the nine types of seducers. And one of them is the type that we're talking about here. And what I'm trying to say is you out there, the listener, you fit one of these nine archetypes. It's sort of who you are. You were wired that way. And the game is to be aware of who you are. Oh, I'm a siren. I'm a rake. I'm a charmer. And then to exaggerate it, to bring it out more. And my view of humans is we are all actors. None of us go around in our social lives just being who we are.
We don't tell people, oh, you don't look so good today. Oh, your screenplay sucks. We are the opposite, right? We learn early on to act. Some people are better actors than others. But you need to be an actor in life. And I don't think there should be anything negative attached to it. It's just, your question is, how do we know whether it's authentic or not? I think you can feel it to a degree. So, you know, when you see a performer and they're giving everything, there's a sense of, you know, it feels real. Yeah, you do. Sometimes there are people that are rock stars and musicians or actors where it does feel like they're kind of having to fake it. I mean, we can sense the difference.
When something's contrived, you feel.
Why are deep narcissists often successful in their careers?
Right.
Yeah. I mean, you know, now circling right back again to human nature, you're talking a lot about how we're all some level. We're all narcissistic to some capacity, right? But I found it interesting. You were saying that the deep narcissists tend to end up being quite successful in life.
They can be.
Right? They'd be like a CEO of a technology company. Yeah. Is it because... Tell me, well, why don't you talk about that a little bit? I'm interested in that. Why? Why do you think they can be? Because...
Well, okay, so to do that, I have to explain why we are all narcissists. I'll try and make it as brief as possible.
What role does self-awareness play in managing narcissistic traits?
You don't have to be brief at all. I love having you here. I don't want you to ever go.
Okay.
Be as long-winded as possible.
Okay, don't tell me that. You're going to regret saying that. I will not. Trust me. Well, I'm trying to say to the reader of this book that Get off your high horse. Stop saying, oh, it's the other person who's aggressive. It's the other person who's got envy, not me.
I love that when you said that. It's always that person who is that person.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main theme of narcissism discussed in this episode?
0:01–0:31
2
How does childhood impact the development of narcissistic tendencies?
0:31–1:44
3
What are the nine types of seducers and how do they relate to narcissism?
1:44–3:15
4
Why are deep narcissists often successful in their careers?
3:15–3:52
5
What role does self-awareness play in managing narcissistic traits?
3:52–4:20
6
How can we build healthy relationships despite our narcissistic tendencies?
4:20–10:26
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Habits and Hustle
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