Attachment Styles ft. Alexis Fernandez | Part One
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
a listener production. This is Happy Hour with Lucy and Nikki. And if you're easily offended, then this might not be for you.
But then when someone is super available, I'm not going to say names.
Tall, broad shoulders, good-looking guy, very lovely.
And you're like, um, slightly feminine energy. I don't think I can. And I'm like, I say, this man is divine. You would make such a secure relationship. You would travel together. Everything would be. And she's like, fem, fem, energy, fem. And I'm like, going by that standard, every single man has fem energy then. Except maybe 2%.
Cheers, babes. Welcome to Happy Hour with Lucy and Nikki, the real life shit you only discuss over a drink. But before we start, a little disclaimer.
So today we are here with our nearest and dearest Miss Alexis Fernandez.
Yes.
Bonsoir. Bonsoir. Where's my pasta? Where's my pasta? As I famously said at the Bellagio Fountain in the nude. Anyway.
You just have no pants on, babe.
No undies. No undies. No undies, undie. We've brought Alexis in to chat all things attachment styles because we've been having a few conversations in life, which we do all the time. All the time. About dating and meeting new people and just even, you know, parenting for the girls and about how attachment styles can like impact your behaviours and then how your behaviours can then impact your kids. We kind of cover it from a few different angles today.
And it's a great chat. And I feel like, you know, we always bring it back to love. But yeah, the parenting... one really threw me. I'm feeling immense pressure right now to not fuck my child up.
It's... You know what? I have to be pretty crook to fuck him up.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's actually... I mean, parenting itself is not easy, but as long as you're relatively consistent with your parenting and as long as you're just... Like we were saying, like everything comes down to communication. Not only how you communicate with your partner, but how you model communication in front of your child. I think we just forget these little details and a major part of a healthy upbringing for a child is just repair. It's not perfection. Yeah. It's actually good in a way to show that you can slip up and how you repair. That's the best thing. Like emotional regulation, right? Yes.
You know, being able to be like, you know, calm down, resolve things.
Say like when Raph's a toddler and you might have... Just an absolute meltdown about something. You just like, you lose your cool. Yeah. She sees it. The best thing you could do is then model how you then find your cool again. Yeah. In front of her. Being like, oh, I need to take a breath. I've lost my cool. Like if you would just talk yourself through it in front of her. What is she saying? Oh, when mum's stressed, she just takes a few deep breaths. Just model it. I think a lot of people think, oh my God, I've gone and done something and then they disappear. They're like, oh, they're mortified. Instead of thinking, I'll just go through the whole process with them. And then they learn how to regulate or how to repair or how to apologize or how to accept an apology.
Yeah.
You know, I hate people that can't apologize.
What are the different attachment styles explained by Alexis?
And I think it's the biggest ick. Oh, same. I just hate people that can't ever admit they've done the wrong thing.
Or someone who holds a grudge. Like Tyrone is the opposite of a grudge holder. He's the opposite of a grudge holder. He is. If we get into like an argument or if we get into anything where I'm annoyed, he will literally be like within 10 seconds, he'll pretend he's like, oh, and he storms off and I'm counting down. Six, seven. And he comes in going, ah, ha, ha, we're not mad at each other, are we? Like, he could never. And I'm like, these boys. That's hilarious. These boys could just never be proud. They'll never be proud, like too proud as men. Yes, that's great. Because they're seeing their father just always come in and being like, even if we disagree, we don't have to be mad at each other. Yeah. And it's this beautiful.
Yeah. And it's made me way less proud because Tyrone's taught me that.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:02–3:15
2
What are the different attachment styles explained by Alexis?
3:15–4:10
3
How do attachment styles impact parenting and children's behavior?
4:10–44:25
4
What does secure attachment look like in relationships?
44:25–46:30
5
How can insecure attachment styles affect adult relationships?
46:30–47:35
6
What is the difference between anxious and avoidant attachment styles?
47:35–1:10:00
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from Happy Hour with Lucy & Nikki
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