#67 Jenna

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Heavyweight 40 min 1 speaker 5 chapters transcribed 2 hours ago
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What happened when Jenna was taken from her mother at age four?

Jonathan Goldstein 0:06
Pushkin.
Jonathan Goldstein 0:15
Jackie.
Unknown 0:15
Hi honey. Where why are you calling me from FaceTime?
Jonathan Goldstein 0:18
Well, you know, it's the uh it's the first episode of the new season, season ten, and I thought it might be a fun way to mix things up a little.
Unknown 0:27
Um Sorry, I'm eating a bowl of soup.
Jonathan Goldstein 0:30
Where are you right now?
Unknown 0:32
Uh I'm at um I'm at a nursing home.
Jonathan Goldstein 0:35
So you're having some nursing home cafeteria soup?
Unknown 0:39
No, my own soup. No, no.
Jonathan Goldstein 0:41
You brought it with you?
Unknown 0:42
I bring it in a thermos. Yeah, it's a storm outside. I always carry a
Jonathan Goldstein 0:46
Service of soup. Do you wear it around your neck like a Saint Bernard?
Unknown 0:52
Not gonna laugh 'cause I'm I'm in a public place. Can't call me back,
Jonathan Goldstein 0:55
yeah, yeah.
Unknown 0:55
Goodbye. Ooh.
Jonathan Goldstein 0:56
Pick me up some hard candy from the gift shop.
Jonathan Goldstein 1:04
From Pushkin Industries, I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight. Today's episode Jenna Right after the break.
Unknown 1:25
This is an IHRT podcast. Guaranteed human.
Malcolm Gladwell 1:29
Malcolm Gladwell here. My new book, The American Way of Killing, investigates America's gun violence crisis. Why is the richest country in the world plagued by such lethal violence? Through a series of stories, interviews, and archival tape, I confront one of today's most urgent moral dilemmas and examine why the U.S. has never quite understood its own problem and why you can't fix what you refuse to. See clearly. Pre order the American Way of Killing at pushkin dot fm slash audiobooks or wherever audiobooks are sold.
Unknown 2:04
My girls' rooms are here.
Jonathan Goldstein 2:07
So neat.
Unknown 2:08
Oiza's room. She's got a cello and a ukulele. Um she would correct me and she would say it's an ukulele mama.
Jonathan Goldstein 2:16
If love means doing anything for your family, then Jenna's kids truly know the meaning of love. For what, if not love, is listening to hours of amateur ukulele, or ukulele. The childhood Jenna's giving her kids is quite different from the one she had. But Jenna's mom would have done anything for Jenna too. Oftentimes, though, there wasn't a lot she could do. Growing up, it was just the two of them. Jenna and her mom.
Jenna Pacena 2:46
And my mom was incredibly lovely. She absolutely loved me. And she also had paranoid schizophrenia.
Jonathan Goldstein 2:59
This meant periods of instability, times when Jenna and her mom lived in cars or homeless shelters. It meant cooking them both dinner when her mother was having an episode. And importantly, it meant always being on the lookout for child protective services.
Jenna Pacena 3:15
Anytime I saw anyone in a nice outfit or w driving a nice car, I would hide. One of my very first memories was being like physically taken away from my mom by CPS workers.
Jonathan Goldstein 3:29
How old were you, do you think?
Jenna Pacena 3:31
I think it was like four or five.
Jonathan Goldstein 3:33
What do you remember of it?
Jenna Pacena 3:36
Um I remember the feeling of panic and terror. I remember the look on my mother's face. I remember like the physical pulling away.
Jonathan Goldstein 3:50
That separation lasted a few weeks. Jenna's biggest fear was being separated for good.
Jonathan Goldstein 4:03
In the second grade that fear came true. Jenna was in school when she heard her name being called over the PA. She was told to go to the principal's office. When she got there, a social worker was waiting. The social worker told her she wouldn't be returning home. Instead, she was to be placed in long term foster care. Jenna knew there must have been some incident with her mom. But no one would tell her what.
Jenna Pacena 4:28
Eight years old, like adults are just not interested in telling you anything. And I got into a stranger's car and drove having no idea. Who I was going to meet.
Jonathan Goldstein 4:41
Do you remember if you had any belongings with you?
Jenna Pacena 4:43
My backpack.
Jonathan Goldstein 4:45
From school.
Jenna Pacena 4:46
My backpack and the clothes that I was wearing.
Jonathan Goldstein 4:49
The social worker drove further and further into rural Georgia.
Jenna Pacena 4:53
I remember going it going through my head of well maybe that's gonna be my new house as we were like driving by houses. Or maybe that one's gonna be my house or I hope it's nice.
Jonathan Goldstein 5:02
Finally, they came to a farmhouse by a pond. A tall blonde woman emerged and introduced herself as Ronda Grizzle. Rhonda would be Jenna's new foster mom. Jenna says the first thing Rhonda did was sit her down on the screened in porch to talk.
Jenna Pacena 5:18
The only thing that I remember about that conversation was that Rhonda turned to me and said, Is it okay if we call you Jenny?

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