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Heavyweight

2026 Update: Brandon

04 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What was Brandon's high school experience like?

6.173 - 11.864 Jonathan Goldstein

Hello.

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11.924 - 13.006 Stevie Lane

Hello.

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13.106 - 14.709 Jonathan Goldstein

Welcome to the studio.

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14.769 - 16.592 Stevie Lane

Are you going to tell people who I am?

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16.653 - 28.755 Jonathan Goldstein

Before that even, I was going to apologize for the smell of egg salad. I don't know why it smells like egg salad in here. It's not like I was eating an egg salad sandwich or anything, but.

29.326 - 33.07 Stevie Lane

What's those little pieces of yolk that are stuck all over your beard?

33.13 - 61.675 Jonathan Goldstein

Nothing. That's total circumstantial evidence. You can't hang someone for circumstantial evidence. I did see Malcolm Gladwell exiting the studio strutting around with an egg salad sandwich poking out of his fanny pack like he owned the joint. So there's some circumstantial evidence you might want to investigate, you intrepid reporter, you. So, hello, Stevie Lane, producer.

62.596 - 65.401 Stevie Lane

Yes, of the episode that we're about to listen to.

66.422 - 67.104 Jonathan Goldstein

Brandon.

Chapter 2: Why did Allie ask Brandon to prom?

246.862 - 266.315 Jonathan Goldstein

because you'll be the sponsor. Plus, and this is what really puts the plus in Pushkin Plus, you'll also get bonus material. If you want to get 25% off an annual Pushkin Plus subscription, head to pushkin.fm slash plus and use the code HEAVY25. Thanks for your support.

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270.082 - 272.025 Jackie

Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on.

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273.136 - 301.995 Jonathan Goldstein

This is Brandon. He's 33 years old and wearing a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan, is in a sundress. And together, they're about to enter the new Palestine High School prom. Megan is the school's art teacher. But tonight, she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She introduces him to the other teachers.

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302.144 - 305.91 Jackie

This is my husband, Brandon. Hi, everybody. Hi. It's a pleasure.

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306.732 - 312.602 Jonathan Goldstein

At a certain point, they're interrupted by the announcement of prom king and queen.

312.622 - 318.111 Jackie

Hey, hey, it's your students. We're going to announce the prom king, queen, and queen.

321.888 - 344.037 Jonathan Goldstein

While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth. There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves. But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset, those aimless kids wandering along the margins alone.

344.077 - 358.344 Jonathan Goldstein

They remind Brandon of himself when he was a teenager in his own prom. Brandon thinks about his prom a lot, and the improbable path that led him to it, which began when he was just a little kid.

358.384 - 378.169 Brandon

Through middle school and junior high, I had a lot of bullying problems. I was kind of an easy target. There were a number of things that made him one. First... I'm like still a big guy now, but I was at my biggest in high school. Heaviest.

Chapter 3: What were Brandon's feelings during prom night?

495.072 - 498.718 Brandon

She had a big smile. Yeah, like, when she smiled, she looked really happy.

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499.179 - 499.399 Jackie

Yeah.

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500.122 - 508.572 Brandon

And I think she kind of pulled me into the conversation by directing some of those questions at me. Like, are you going to prom? Who are you going to prom with?

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509.573 - 527.293 Jonathan Goldstein

Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend or any prospects for a date. And he was confused about why Allie was talking to him. Brandon says they'd barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds. Allie was in student government. She was popular and beautiful.

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527.408 - 544.572 Brandon

She was just really well put together, clean. And you? No, that's not a word I'd use to describe myself in high school. I mean, like, I would, like, smell my clothes before I put them on in the morning. You know what I mean? Like, I got dressed from the floor of my bedroom.

545.073 - 562.875 Jonathan Goldstein

You know what I mean? Yeah. And yet, Allie kept throwing questions at him. Why wasn't he going? If he did go, who would he take? Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she'd turn back to her friends and leave him alone. But instead, she rose from her seat and began striding towards him.

563.456 - 569.286 Brandon

Inside, I was, like, inflamed. Do you know what I mean? Like, my heart rate was rising.

571.79 - 582.93 Jonathan Goldstein

With each question, Allie moved closer and closer until she was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him. Then she did something that still flummoxes Brandon 15 years later.

583.571 - 614.601 Brandon

She just kind of outright said, take me to prom. Like, go to prom, take me. Let's go together. I immediately had questions. Questions like, why? Why me? What's going on? I guess I was skeptical this was some kind of trick, you know? Why would you be asking me this other than to set me up for a punchline or something like that? But no punchline really came, so I just agreed.

Chapter 4: How did Brandon's life change after prom?

683.013 - 693.402 Jonathan Goldstein

Allie and her friends looked like the girls in those movies about prom. And those girls always had guys who gave them the time of their lives. For Brandon, a sense of duty kicked in.

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693.442 - 708.114 Brandon

It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this is going to be a big deal in Allie's life forever. And I have a big responsibility as her date to make sure that I live up to this position. I was really, really nervous.

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709.575 - 724.334 Jonathan Goldstein

Did you guys, did you and Allie slow dance? I feel like when I ask these questions, I feel like Hannibal Lecter. Like I'm asking these questions from a straitjacket in a cell. Did you slow dance?

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724.795 - 744.282 Brandon

Did you slow dance? I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking like, it's funny that in TV shows and in movies, this is such a big deal, but it's just standing. Like you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah. Like that's not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop dance crew and youth group, you know, that was hard.

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744.542 - 749.728 Jonathan Goldstein

Wait, you were in it. Sorry. Repeat that. You were in a hip hop dance youth group. What?

749.848 - 758.917 Brandon

Yeah. Um, so the, the church I went to was just like, there were a lot of performances and, um, hip hop dance that happened.

760.018 - 760.118

Yeah.

761.043 - 774.002 Jonathan Goldstein

Did you ever at any point break out any of your Christian youth group hip-hop moves on the dance floor? Did you do anything like on the floor, like where you spin on your back? Or you didn't want to ruin the rental? You wanted to get your deposit?

775.064 - 780.391 Jackie

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Chapter 5: What updates has Brandon shared since the last episode?

901.069 - 912.303 Brandon

But it's not on that list. It's on the shorter list of things that I feel went okay. Yeah, I'd like to thank her. I'm just nervous.

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913.464 - 937.71 Jonathan Goldstein

Which is why Brandon has reached out to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can always jump in. Sure. I've just assumed I'm going to be coming along to chaperone. After the break, I chaperone Brandon back to high school.

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948.338 - 976.98 Unknown

every now and then someone would die risk true stories no holding back he comes up behind me and whispers right in my ear nobody knows where you are and nobody can hear you scream some of these stories will make you laugh till you're crying and then i realize i'm unconscious Some will stick with you for life. They catch my mom poisoning my sister. My brother, he died at the hands of my mother.

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977.12 - 998.68 Unknown

I said, Mike, don't make me shoot you, please. But he did. People say risk makes them feel less alone and more alive. During my time in prison, I discovered a podcast called Risk. That podcast saved my life so many times. Live your authentic truth, because you never know who may come to your funeral and turn that bitch out.

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999.638 - 1006.729 Unknown

Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share, wherever you get your podcasts.

1010.515 - 1033.214 Jonathan Goldstein

Before Brandon can ask Ali the question that's been on his mind since senior year, we first need to track her down. Her last name is Schmutz. I'm just making that up. Brandon's part of a Facebook group for his high school graduating class, and Allie is a member of the group as well. Does that mean that you can have a better chance of messaging her through that group?

1034.455 - 1041.943 Brandon

I mean, like, if I were going to use the group, it would be making a post for my whole graduating class to see.

1041.963 - 1046.267 Jonathan Goldstein

Might as well go big, like say, hey, I'm just going to put this out there to everybody.

1046.332 - 1048.415 Brandon

Yeah, if you're not Allie, please don't read this.

Chapter 6: How did Brandon and Allie reconnect years later?

1129.183 - 1131.206 Jonathan Goldstein

Okay, cool. Go ahead. Yeah.

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1131.627 - 1135.292 Brandon

Hi, Ali. Maybe you'll remember me. We were prom dates.

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1135.312 - 1139.819 Jonathan Goldstein

As Brandon reads me his draft, I focus my keen podcast producer's ear.

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1140.24 - 1143.425 Brandon

By my recollection, it was your idea for us to go to prom together.

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1143.465 - 1152.298 Jonathan Goldstein

Now, let me pause. Sorry, let me hit pause there. Yeah. Like the way that you're underlining your idea. You're not actually underlining that, though.

1153.36 - 1154.942 Brandon

I did italicize it.

1155.192 - 1160.505 Jonathan Goldstein

It was your idea for us to go to prom together. Is that what you're saying?

1162.109 - 1163.813 Brandon

Yeah, it sounds accusatory out loud.

1164.354 - 1188.169 Jonathan Goldstein

So maybe we'll de-italicize that part. Okay, keep going. Brandon tells Allie that he still thinks about their prom. He says he wants to talk to her about it. Would she be up for that? Okay, okay, let's take a look at this here. As Brandon and I pour over the message, a worry suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a way to work in the fact that you're married, you know?

Chapter 7: What insights did Brandon gain about his past?

1276.459 - 1278.902 Brandon

Cool, cool. I can keep it organic.

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1292.251 - 1312.72 Jonathan Goldstein

Hey, everyone. When Heavyweight returned last year, we were so encouraged by the heartfelt messages from you, our dear listeners. I can safely say that without you, Heavyweight wouldn't exist today. So, thank you. And if you want to take your valuable support to an even higher invaluable level, consider signing up for Pushkin Plus.

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1313.441 - 1342.011 Jonathan Goldstein

It makes us look good to our bosses, and you'll get to listen to Heavyweight ad-free. because you'll be the sponsor. Plus, and this is what really puts the plus in Pushkin Plus, you'll also get bonus material. If you want to get 25% off an annual Pushkin Plus subscription, head to pushkin.fm slash plus and use the code HEAVY25. Thanks for your support. Hello. Hello.

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1342.371 - 1351.587 Jonathan Goldstein

I'm getting a little bit of static on your end. Yeah. Hello. Better? Yeah. On the day of the video call with Allie, Brandon and I get on early and wait.

1352.769 - 1359.7 Brandon

It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of my high school self. Like I'm... Hi. Hi, Allie.

1360.221 - 1360.441 Unknown

Hi.

1361.142 - 1361.563 Jonathan Goldstein

How are you?

1361.924 - 1362.464 Unknown

Good.

Chapter 8: What humorous moment occurred at the tailor?

1461.604 - 1468.974 Brandon

No. Okay. And then eventually you were like, you and me can go to prom. Like, why don't we go to prom? That's funny.

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1470.215 - 1473.88 Jonathan Goldstein

And then Brandon asks this question, sort of.

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1474.535 - 1480.087 Brandon

Like at any point, did you consider having, um, having someone else as a date?

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1481.349 - 1492.232 Allie

Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself. So I don't have any memories of thinking like, I'm going to ask Brandon. And then if that doesn't work, I'm going to ask so-and-so. They're just kind of like, I'm going to ask Brandon.

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1493.054 - 1501.997 Brandon

Hmm. That is surprising. I guess because I thought that it was spur of the moment, like your friends were hearing this for the first time, too.

1502.217 - 1512.234 Allie

No, no. I was very obsessed with my friends, so I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you passed the friend test.

1512.254 - 1521.45 Jonathan Goldstein

Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity. Allie planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

1521.667 - 1536.608 Allie

I do remember, like, you did say no. I remember you saying no, and I'm like, oh, yeah, but give him a day. I'm going to make him go. He's going to go with me. But, yeah, you were just surprised by the fact that I asked you?

1538.931 - 1539.913 Brandon

I mean, yeah, definitely.

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