How to have great sex (w/ Siphumeze Khundayi and Tiffany Mugo) (re-release)
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Who are the hosts and guests introducing HALA Africa and this conversation about sex?
Hey, everyone, Chris Duffy here. We wanted to share a special episode from the archive today. I hope you enjoy. I'm your host, Chris Duffy, and you're listening to how to be a better human. Today, we're going to be talking about sex, and it sometimes feels like the more that we know, the more we discover is still out there. While conversations about sex and sexuality are more out in the open these days, for many people, there is still a lot of embarrassment and shame around the topic. And as a result, many people avoid talking about it at all. Myself included, I will readily admit that I get very awkward and very nervous when I try and talk about sex. Luckily, today's guests, Sifumeze Kundayi and Tiffany Mugo, are the founders of the Hub of Loving Action in Africa, otherwise known as Hala Africa.
And they are known for promoting conversations about sex and sexuality across the continent. What started as a passion project while they were still in university has now exploded into articles, workshops, a podcast, a TED Talk, and so much more. But at its core, Hala Africa is a place where African women and queer people have a safe space to talk about sex in a way that's positive and not just centered on trauma or shame or sadness, and also not centered on the often repressive ideas about love and pleasure that have historically been promoted by the Western world. So in today's episode, I'm going to talk with Tiffany and Sifu Meze about what they've learned in the process of gathering so many other people's stories, how to let go of shame so that we can communicate more freely, and how to nurture a healthier and safer attitude towards sex, regardless of what you're into or not into.
To get started, here is a clip from their TED Talk.
Even you, as an adult, have some internalized ideas about sex that you never challenge. Some good, some bad, and some very, very strange.
So when you allow someone to see you butt naked, do you ever think about how the ideas that you internally have will affect whether you will like them tickling your elbow or kissing your thigh or shouting out the name of a chosen deity? One must do internal monitoring and evaluation if we are going to live our best sexy lives.
And we're going to tell you how to have a great sex life, right? But the first thing you need to do is let go of the bad ideas you have about sex. Think about the things that we need to change and the things we need to embrace in all of their shiny newness.
We are going to embrace all sorts of shiny newness right after this quick break. Don't go anywhere.
And we are back.
Today on the show, we're talking about sex with Tiffany Mugo and Sifu Meze Kundayi.
Hello, everyone. I am Tiffany Kagura Mugo. I am a writer, curator, and thinker about time.
Hello, everyone. My name is Sifu Meze Kundayi, and I am a theater maker, visual artist, and I co-curate Hola Africa.
Well, now that we know who you are... How did you two first meet?
So plot twist, we are actually a couple. A lot of people don't know that. I will tell my side of the story about how we met. We met at the World Cup, like bad breakup things. I was still in the country. I'm actually Kenyan. And like my ex was just being a mess. We're not even going to discuss that. And so I decided to stay for the World Cup instead of going home. The 2010 World Cup when it was in South Africa. And I think that we met the day of the first match. So that's when I think that we met.
But apparently you have a different story. Yes. So the actual story is, so we went to Varsity together. And we had this festival, a theater festival. And each resident has to participate in this festival. And we shared a stage. So her res and my res shared the same stage. and they were doing um does like his shang is what is it called for colored girls and she was one so she didn't have any lines in the entire show she came through just like coming in as as the man who steals someone's stuff so i obviously had to watch these people rehearse over and over and over and over and that's actually where we met and this was in our first year of university
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
Who are the hosts and guests introducing HALA Africa and this conversation about sex?
0:00–15:57
2
How did Tiffany Mugo and Siphumeze Khundayi meet and start HOLA Africa?
15:57–25:55
3
What was the initial public response to HOLA Africa and how did participants react?
25:55–33:39
4
Why does geographical and cultural context matter when giving sexual-health advice?
33:39–37:19
Speakers
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