How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Bummed About NO Good Matches on the Apps? These 15 Quick Fixes Will Turn Your Profile into a Match Magnet (Live Coaching with Zach)
Tue, 24 Dec 2024
It’s Christmas, and Santa Connell has a gift for you: Matches galore on the dating apps! Because endless swiping and ZERO matches makes you say, “ho, ho, NO!” It’s getting old, right? In this episode of the “How to Get a Girlfriend” podcast, dating coach Connell Barrett helps his client Zach fix the same issues that frustrate you. Zach—a personal trainer and 40-year-old single dad—learns 15 proven online-dating moves to turn his phone into a date-generating machine. And hey, the more good matches you have, the sooner you can attract a wonderful girlfriend who loves you for you.Here are some of the strategies Connell shares with Zach. You’re about to learn:6:41: How to Maximize Online-Dating Success with Minimal Effort (15 Minutes Daily!)8:49: Why Being a Single Dad is a Feature, Not a Flaw—and How to Talk about it On Your Profile14:35: Connell Crafts a Clever, Authentic “DILF” Prompt for Zach that Women Will Love17:49: The 3 Photos Every Man MUST Have on his Hinge, Bumble or Tinder Profile21:08: The Secret to Writing Funny Prompts that Make Her Message YOU First23:18: Boosting your Profile: When, Why and How to Do It27:07: From Matching to Texting to Getting the First Date, in 3 Simple Steps30:04: How to use Video Clips to Skyrocket Your Matches32:15: The 5 Big Profile Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making55:43: Hinge Hack: How to Write Poll Prompts to Triple Your Matches1:01:17: How to Date Without Drinking Alcohol and Still Have FunHit “play” now and start getting good matches on the apps.FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE GREAT FIRST DATES:http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactTO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30WANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:[email protected]"Transparency fosters genuine connections and sets clear expectations." - Zach"The focus on self-improvement paves the way for deeper connections and fulfilling relationships." - Zach
Chapter 1: How can I maximize my online dating success with minimal effort?
And do it with authenticity and integrity in class. No sketchy pickup artist moves needed. No toxic nonsense. Merry Christmas and happy holidays. This episode is dropping on Christmas Eve. And there's a really good chance you're listening to this during the holiday season. And the holidays are a tough time for a lot of people. Maybe they're a tough time for you.
If you're anything like I was back when I was struggling with my dating life, you get lonely at times. And it was hardest for me during the holidays. I remember, so I'm the youngest of six. I grew up in a big Irish Catholic family in Ohio. I'm the baby of six kids. I was the miracle baby. And I remember one Christmas when we were taking photos, all the six kids were taking photos.
And there was a group photo that all five of my siblings was in the photo with their partner, either their boyfriend, girlfriend, or their husband and wife. And I didn't have anybody. And I remember I picked up the family dog, fuzzy little white dog named Shamrock. And just as a half joke, I picked up Shamrock while all my siblings had their partners in this photo.
And my big brother Devin cracked a joke. He said, hey, look, Connell's got his girlfriend with him. And I laughed and everybody laughed. But I was actually feeling really lonely and sad. And I remember thinking, oh man, why do I have to spend Christmas with my dog and not have somebody to be with? So anyway, if you are a guy who is feeling lonely right now, this time of year, I know how it feels.
Chapter 2: Why is being a single dad a feature, not a flaw?
I remember how it feels. I remember having some pretty lonely, hopeless times, or at least they felt hopeless at the time. And the good news is I'm here for you. This podcast is here for you. Think of me as your wingman, your digital audio podcast wingman.
I'm here to help you make sure that if you are alone this year in 2024, let's make this the last year you are alone in terms of a romantic partner. I'm sure you're not alone in life, but I'll
if you're alone in terms of relationship in terms of not having a girlfriend let's make this the last lonely christmas okay i'll do everything i can to help make sure that next year you absolutely will have an incredible girlfriend to share the holidays with so if you're having a tough christmas know that this will pass.
If I could go from holding a dog as my Christmas date to having the world's greatest girlfriend and having a lot of dating success, and hell, I didn't just become a guy who could get a girlfriend. I became a dating coach. So if I can do this, anybody can, including you. Anyway, let's get to today's episode. It's another coaching session with my client, Zach. Zach's a brand new client.
This is our very first official coaching call, and you're going to love it because we're going to go deep on all kinds of different online dating struggles that you probably have, especially a lack of matches and a lack of dates. We got 15 plus really good tips to help you get more matches, more dates, and have some really good dating success on the apps so you can get a great girlfriend in 2025.
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Chapter 3: What are the essential photos needed for my dating profile?
Enjoy the episode. All right, Zach, what's on your mind tonight, man? How can I help you?
All right, Mr. Connell. So I think the big thing that has been on my mind, and I've kind of been going back and forth on it a little bit and struggling with, is... I think part of it is, is what I'm looking for realistic. And I'll kind of outline that in a second. And then how do I go about trying to find that? Right.
Chapter 4: How can I write funny prompts to get women to message me first?
So you and I have talked about this, obviously a bunch, which is, you know, I'm, uh, I separated from my wife about a year ago. Um, and you know, we will be getting divorced in the early part of this year. Thankfully, super amicable, no drama, probably one of the most divorces of all time, but you know, I'm, I'm in a situation where I'm, I want
Maybe I don't even know what I want, which is probably one of the problems too. But I want to go out. I want a date, but I am very limited in my time. My son spends every Saturday with me. I'm with my family until about 8.15, 8.30 Sunday night through Thursday night. Friday night is really the only night I can get out. So I don't have a lot of time.
So I think one of the things I'm struggling with is How do I, how do I, and I also want to be upfront with any woman that I'm dating. I'm not in this to play games. I'm not, for multiple reasons, I just want to be very straightforward about my situation.
So like, how do I go about finding, and I think I'm, and again, if I'm struggling to construct a good question, it's because I have multiple parts of this question, but it's how do I do this with so limited time? How do I find a woman who's going to be accepting of the limited time that I have.
And are there women out there who would be happy to find a guy where maybe we're talking on the phone a couple times a week, the main time we're going out is Friday, but I'm not going to be both physically and emotionally available, at least not right now, because my son is my priority. You know what I mean?
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Chapter 5: When and how should I boost my dating profile?
Yeah, so you're talking about how do you find the time to date women or how do you find the time to be looking to date women, like swiping and going out to meet women?
Well, I think the looking is that I've got down. I just kind of set aside 15 to 20 minutes. It's minimum 10 to 15 minutes every night, right? Like I'm just like, I got to set the habit, got to set the pattern. And I guess that's another question for you. Do you think that that is a good approach where it's, you know, every night it's almost like you guys got to go do your workout.
Like there's the 15 minutes, you got to do it. No matter what's going on and you just put in the time, you make it a consistent pattern. You think that's a good idea?
Absolutely. I like to think of swiping. three four or five days a week as going to the gym for a half hour except instead of wiping off sweaty uh leg extension seats and bench press posts you're swiping on the apps but the good news is you can do that in your pajamas
Chapter 6: How do I effectively transition from matching to dating?
100%. And I can attest to it because I've done it many times. You're doing this interview in your pajamas, I assume. I am in my pajamas right now. Yeah, knowing you. I'm not. So the second question then is, what do you do or what is the advice that you give your guys who are very pressed for time when it comes to dating? How do you date with limited time to actually date?
Well, I would focus on quality over quantity. which means you, well, you're already doing the right things. You have new and improved photos. We looked at your online dating. I know you worked with my girl, Rianne, who takes all photos for my guys in New York City who want new and improved photos.
And once you're getting some good traction on Hinge or whatever dating app you're on, in your case it's Hinge, then the app will be doing a lot of the work for you. You know, your dating profile is a piece of marketing.
and it's out there 24 7. so with reasonably good profile and photos you'll hopefully be getting some good traction some good matches on a regular basis and very invested matches so i guess my answer my answer to your question is how do you get maximum dating value with little time is you have a pro at least with online dating you have a profile that gets women very excited about you
and makes it easier to get them out on dates with you so you don't have to spend hours and hours texting forever and ever texting longer than a shakespearean soliloquy that takes forever but if women get really into you if they're like oh my god this guy zach handsome fit he's got that Jason Statham thing going, funny prompt, haha, giggle, giggle. I'll match with him.
And then you won't have to work as hard to get the date with her. And you could be more efficient. And that's basically how to do it online is make your profile so damn good. You get some really good leads who are excited about you. And then you date them with minimal texting and more efficiency.
That's fantastic. Thank you. Can we dive into that a little bit more in terms of what makes a profile attractive enough to a woman where they are really like into you? And you know my profile, so you can dive into mine as well. And I guess the caveat with this too is I think one of the things that I'm, I don't know, maybe the word is afraid of is like, because I have my son and like, I
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Chapter 7: What common profile mistakes should I avoid?
Am I even going to be attractive to women as someone who is getting out of a relationship, has a son? I think that's kind of like an insecurity and almost like a fear of mine.
Are you going to be attractive to women as a single dad is what you're asking?
Chapter 8: How can I use video clips to enhance my dating profile?
Yeah.
Yeah. I dated a woman many years ago named Lauren. And I remember one Sunday afternoon, I said, hey, what are you up to today? She said, oh, me and the girls, we're going to go to the park and check out the Dilfs. And Lauren was my wow girl times 10 at the time. So absolutely, there are lots of women who are looking to date. Dilfs, frankly, or looking to date men.
And if you have a kid, it might be no big deal to her. She might actually like it. My view is being a parent is the most important job on the planet. What's more important than being a dad? And women like a guy with a great job. And you have too. You're a trainer and you're a dad. So it's a little bit of a limiting belief that a lot of men think, oh, man, I have a kid. I have baggage.
Women aren't going to like that. Well, it's, you know, it's not hurting Nick Cannon. He's got 17 kids. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. His cannon needs to be destroyed. put a cover on that thing. But anyway, bottom line is, look, there's going to be women who aren't looking to date a single dad. There's going to be plenty of women who are.
And there's going to be women who are maybe kind of in that neutral zone. And then they see charming, fit, funny Zach. And they're like, all right, I'll give this single dad a shot. So yeah, we're obviously marketing toward women who are looking to date your kind of guy.
So I think your point about limiting belief is, that's the right term, because I think that's something that has been on my mind a lot as I've started going into this process.
And I think one of the last questions I'll ask about this, about the being a father and the kid component, and then I want to go back to your point that you were making about how do you make a really, really attractive profile. But in terms of having a kid, my sense has been, it makes more sense to be upfront about this in my profile. Do you agree with that? Do you disagree with that?
Because again, it's very important to me, both for my own time and for any woman I'm dating. I want to be very upfront about my situation in the beginning. So would you advise making a point where it's like one of these, maybe it's on like a unhinged where it's one of these prompts where it says, one thing you should know about me, like son, he's my absolute guy. I love him to death.
And I spend a ton of time with him, something like that.
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