Bill answers your questions on dealing with the heat, social batteries and being bored.This episode's playlist is called 'Groovemelikeout' and it includes:‘Hook Me Up’ by Johnny “Guitar” Watson ‘Ain’t That Peculiar’ by Marvin Gaye ‘I Love Every Little Thing About You’ by Stevie Wonder ‘Be Thankful For What You’ve Got - Live’ by Orgone‘Crystal Clear’ by Pharrell Williams Link to Spotify playlist here Link to Apple Music playlist here The book of the episode is by Joan Didion and is called 'Where I Was From'This episode is the last in the series! Thank you for squandering your time and listening to ill-advised by Bill Nighy. We'll be back in the New Year for more ill-advice, in the meantime you can send your questions to Bill via Instagram here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on where you are on the planet. This is Bill Nye welcoming you to Ill-Advised by Bill Nye, the podcast for people who don't get out much and can't handle it when they do. It's a refuge for the clumsy and the awkward. If you are socially adept and enjoy healthy relationships, there's nothing for you here.
I will attempt to answer your questions without actually making things worse. I was very moved and, you know, touched that so many people sent so many questions in. It'll take me probably longer than I'm going to live to answer them all. But we're going to start right now. So let's hear one.
Hello there, Bill. My name is Will. I am based in East London. I have a question for you, and that is related to my marriage next year in Tuscany. I am very much looking forward to it. The venue is fantastic. I very much love my fiancée. So, so far, so good. But...
I am, unfortunately, but a pasty Englishman and very ill-suited to high temperatures, and by that I mean anything above 25 degrees, I'm afraid to say. My question is, how can I ensure that I exude the sophisticated and relaxed and demure vibe or aura that I intend to have at my wedding while battling this fiendishly high heat? My fiancée is very lucky she does not have that problem.
Any advice on this would be gratefully received. Thank you, Bill. You are my only hope.
Well, Will, I feel you, as I think Generation Y used to say. I feel you. I also, being largely Irish, have a problem with anything above 25 degrees. I'm not built for that. And I've never had a suntan in my life. I once went septic in the sun. I fell asleep on a beach and I had open sores over my body for the whole of the holiday.
And my friends, in inverted commas, at night in the barn where we were living, they would wait till I'd got into the sleeping bag very tentatively, you can imagine. And then they would roll me around the barn floor for a laugh. And while I screamed in pain, that's as near as I ever got to any kind of sun, sun, whatever you call it, suntan. It was more a kind of pink.
It was like the surface of the moon. I mean, my back was like, it was just horrendous. So I understand where you're coming from. This is not going to happen to you, Will. Calm down. The wedding's going to go fine. The thing about weddings is they always work out. And the big news is, or the important factor in your question is the fact that you love your fiance very, very much.
That's all she wrote. You know, everything's going to work out fine.
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Chapter 2: What are the challenges of dealing with high temperatures for social events?
And she must already love you, even though you are vulnerable in that regard. If she wanted a guy who was, you know, easy and relaxed in the sun, she would have found one. But she found you. And also, you know, with all due respect, you can't have everything. You know what I mean? I mean, those guys that are easy in the sun, you know, I've never really felt relaxed around them.
I don't know how that happens. They're the kind of people that wear, you know, loafers and no socks. And they have tanned ankles. I mean, never trust a man who's got tanned ankles for crying out loud. That's real. But I guess you buy a hat. You don't go out. You never, ever. I never walk in the sun. I always walk in the shade.
I walk a lot and I often I navigate by shadow and I will take a long way around so that I can walk on that side of the street. I will walk around a block, an unnecessarily long block in order to stay in the shadow. And you need a decent hat. You need a decent Panama or something of that kind. And also, don't let anyone persuade you into linen.
Often when decent, straightforward, right-thinking English people go into hot places, they are persuaded into wearing linen, which is obviously, you know, wrong. Women can wear linen, but men forget about it. I've made TV series. I've made whole films in very, very hot countries. And no linen has ever had contact with my flesh. I went to India and made two films in India.
No linen was harmed during the making of those two films.
Hello, Bill. My name is Ernesto.
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Chapter 3: How can I maintain a relaxed vibe at my wedding despite the heat?
I'm from Chicago. And I was wondering, how do you bounce back from having to be social... engage with people. I find it takes me several days to kind of get my energy back and to not feel so drained. What advice do you have to maybe help with that process? Thank you.
Ernesto, that's a very, very good question. In earlier times, I used to find, like you, and I think you sound like somebody considerably younger than me, and I also used to have a kind of, not a literal hangover, but a real kind of physical hangover from social events and social occasions because I would get so tense and so wired, usually because I drank too much coffee. I used to drink
an enormous amount of coffee. I would drink a double espresso prior to meeting someone in order to make myself more interesting. And I don't know if I consciously thought that every time it became a reflex. And I would drink a can of Coca-Cola, which I thankfully don't do anymore, which is, of course, preposterous, like I get any more interesting because of a stimulant.
But anyway, the answer to your question is hard to find. I'm now easier in public situations, in social situations. I tend to try and ask questions and just inquire after people's health and let them do the talking. The danger for someone like myself who does not come easily to these affairs is when you do start talking, to talk too much.
And I would open up unnecessarily and find myself confiding in people that I'm probably never going to meet again. I try now to let other people do the talking really. And I get there early. And I leave early. So I don't, unless it's offensive to somebody, if it's somebody's birthday or something, I'll be the first to arrive. I'll be the first to arrive.
I will honor whoever I'm required to honor. I will stay for a reasonable amount of time. Like an hour and then I will leave without saying goodbye. I will just drift out the door. So I do as little of it as possible and then I try and time it so I can go for dinner. So I will leave the party or the book launch or whatever it is you're going to. And I always take a book.
Well, I always take a book everywhere. So always carry the book, and then I take the book to dinner. But I would never be there longer than an hour and a half. So unless it's a dinner party, if it's a dinner party, well, you're trapped. There's only two people whose houses I go to for dinner, apart from family. And I'm fortunate that no one invites me to dinner parties. I don't quite why that is.
I'm not complaining. I'm rejoicing. But you'll have to wait a few years for that to happen. But, yeah, get there early and leave early would be my major contribution. And just let them do the talking. Just ask questions. And watch it like TV. Just watch it like TV.
And don't take responsibility for people's bad – I used to go to dinner parties and somebody would obviously be having trouble, difficulty in their marriage or something. They'd be sniping at one another. And I would take – I would sort of feel like there was some phone call I hadn't made, like it was my responsibility or something, which is obviously insane.
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Chapter 4: What strategies can help recharge my social energy after events?
He's not forgotten, but he's not remembered or known by enough people. people in my view. He's a beautiful guitar player and there may be more of him coming up in the future. Anyway, this one is called Hook Me Up. I think we know where he stands. And the next track is from the incredible Marvin Gaye and it's an early tune when he was still a Tamla artist. It's called Ain't That Peculiar.
and people my age will be familiar with it. It was one of the tunes that we played when I tried to start what would now be called a pop-up club above the co-op in the high street in the town where I was born. And we called the club, and it was my idea, we called the club Stop Making Love, which was supposed to suggest that you stop making love and
between half past seven and half past ten, which is when we had to close, because he was so busy making so much love, and the fact that none of us, well, certainly not me, had ever made love or anything approaching that, we just kept that to ourselves. But those were the times, you know, what can I tell you? Anyway, it ain't that peculiar. Put the kettle on, dance around the kitchen.
The next track is from one of the greatest artists of all time, which I'm amazed hasn't been included on any playlists up until now. It's Stevie Wonder with a song called I Love Every Little Thing About You. And it reminds me of a great Lou Reed lyric.
where from a song called down at the arcade and the lyric is the president called to give me the news i've been awarded the nobel prize for rhythm and blues and stevie wonder wants to record one of my songs which has always made me feel like you know the whole thing might just work And the next tune is by Orgone, or Orgone, O-R-G-O-N-E. And it's from an album called Raw and Direct.
And this is a version, a cover of one of my favorite songs called Be Thankful for What You've Got. I like this song so much that I actually have a playlist which consists only of versions of this song. And there are, I think, something like a dozen versions. But I hadn't come across this version until relatively recently.
The final song on this playlist is from Pharrell Williams, the great Pharrell Williams, and it's called Crystal Clear.
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Chapter 5: What are the most effective ways to manage social anxiety?
And on my phone, it has the poster of the movie Hidden Figures. I don't know whether it was written specifically for the movie, but there you are. It's a song I've always liked. And I did get to meet Mr. Williams on one occasion, but it was one of those occasions where I was just rendered lemon-like. In other words, I just went into stasis and couldn't think of anything to say.
And I left it at that. So anyway, that's the list. So I hope you like it. Remember, you don't have to make a note of these things because they're all in the show notes and there's a link to Spotify. This episode's book, or book of the week, is by Joan Didion. I've read everything, I think, by Joan Didion. And this one is called Where I Was From. And she's from Sacramento in California.
She's a wonderful writer. I struggled with the decision about which of her books I should choose. And I've chosen this because it might persuade you into reading other of her books because she writes so beautifully. But also, it's a very singular book and it's a very... It's kind of what you need to know about America before you start. And this is a short passage from it.
100 years ago, our great-great-grandparents were pushing America's frontier westward to California. That's a quote. So began the speech I wrote to deliver at my eighth grade graduation from the Arden School outside Sacramento. The subject was our California heritage.
Developing a theme encouraged by my mother and grandfather, I continued, made rather more confident than I should have been by the fact that I was wearing a new dress, pale green organdy and my mother's crystal necklace. It was in June 1948. The pale green of the organdy dress was a colour that existed in the local landscape only for the few spring days when the rice first showed.
The crystal necklace was considered by my mother an effective way to counter the valley heat.
Such was the blinkering effect of the local dream time that it would be some years before I recognised that certain aspects of our California heritage did not add up, starting with, but by no means limited to, the fact that I had delivered it to an audience of children and parents who had, for the most part, arrived in California during the 1930s, refugees from the Dust Bowl.
It was after this realisation that I began trying to find the truth quote point of california to locate some message in its history i picked up a book of revisionist studies on the subject but abandoned it on discovering that i was myself quoted twice
You will have perhaps realized by now, a good deal earlier than I myself realized, that this book represents an exploration into my own confusions about the place and the way in which I grew up. Confusions as much about America as about California. Misapprehensions and misunderstandings so much a part of who I became that I can still to this day confront them only obliquely. That's the snippet.
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