I Got Goosies
episodePreviously titled “Ep 250 - I Got Goosies” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026
Transcript
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What exciting news do the hosts share about their upcoming tour?
Exciting news, Gillies.
We are bringing our show, Happy Campers, to the Southern Hemisphere.
Get ready, babes, because we're going to Auckland, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and parts.
I'm so excited for a bit of sun in November and December.
Don't worry, babe. I packed the Factor 50.
Fabulous. Also, if there's any cute tour guides who want to show me around, I'll be looking for someone to do so.
If you were there last year, you know it's not just a show. It's an extravaganza. It's an experience, isn't it? Make sure to grab your tickets via the link in the episode description.
You know what I think we need to bring back? What? Tupperware parties. Girls.
The joy I felt as a closet gay man when all the mammies came over to my gaff. Would rock up. And they were looking at Tupperware. Tupperware. But was that a pyramid scheme? I think it was. It was.
It was kind of in the same buzz as like Amazon and Horrible Life.
Yeah.
Stop with the Horrible Life. No one wants the shakes. And no one wants to buy a protein bar off your man.
It's your favorite queers back in your ears. It's I'm Grandmam.
What experiences did Kevin have at the sexual health clinic?
Hey, girlies. I'm Kevin. And I'm PJ. And welcome back to I'm Grandmam.
live from the pits of hell girls girls it's the warmest hotel room in the world why do they make hotel rooms so warm but girl what else can you do when it's the warmest day of the year put on the air con there's air con on there oh no one knows how to work hotel room air no no nobody knows how to work hotel room air con make that easier we should have not learned algebra in school and they should have had a class on how to control the thermostat in
hotel room everyone just on like a device yeah teaching you the basics also let me open the top floor windows that wouldn't even help us like it's just too warm yeah like i'm actually nervous about the show tomorrow in london we have our final show people have been advised not to get the trail they said only essential travel coming to see young grandmam is essential travel i'm sorry do you not think so but see also on the factor 50 trains are going to be cancelled as if you're getting a train now is having to drive down from manchester because he's too nervous about the trains so what happens the tracks expand guys we're not equipped for good weather no like we don't deserve it i i would go so far as to say we're not equipped for any weather extremity
And I'll say it once and I'll say it again. Say it with me. Climate crisis. Climate crisis. Climate crisis, guys. We did it to ourselves. We made the bed. Now we have to lie in it.
Like... And sweat. This isn't normal. No. This isn't normal.
Now, the only hotel room that got the temperature right is my favourite hotel in London, the Stratford. Girls, I love her to bits. You love that hotel. Except the last time I was there, I was in the lift and I met the most dramatic person in my life. Now, I kind of lived for her because she was, again, living main character fantasy. Yeah. But I'm in the lift, right? And then she gets in with her fella and a couple more people get into the lift. But every new person that gets into the lift, she goes...
Oh.
Oh no.
Why are PJ and Kevin mourning the decline of brick-and-mortar stores?
Like really out loud. And you could see that the fella was done with her. He was fed up with her. She was just panicking. And then she was like, oh. And then she goes, I'm claustrophobic. Like under her voice. And it was building to this moment. And I was kind of living for it. She was so dramatic. I'm claustrophobic. And then one more person gets in and she goes, I'm claustrophobic. And then we were like, okay, girl. What are you meant to do? I was like, okay, girl, get out. I was like, get out of the lift. Why are you getting the lift? And then basically, then she starts going. and then I was kind of feeling for her I was like ah poor thing like because she's probably on the top floor or whatever she gets out she gets out on the first floor I goes girl you could have taken the stairs and it wasn't like she could actually she could walk like I saw her walk into the lift and stuff like that and she was grand she looked fit out you know I was like why were you doing the big on a balloon and you got on
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What exciting news do the hosts share about their upcoming tour?
0:00–1:17
2
What experiences did Kevin have at the sexual health clinic?
1:17–3:19
3
Why are PJ and Kevin mourning the decline of brick-and-mortar stores?
3:19–4:48
4
What are the pros and cons of online shopping according to the hosts?
4:48–6:02
5
How do the hosts feel about the rise of thrift shopping?
6:02–7:44
6
What challenges do independent shops face in today's market?
7:44–8:32
7
How do the hosts describe their experiences with changing rooms in retail?
8:32–10:03
8
What humorous anecdotes do the hosts share about their shopping mishaps?
10:03–54:30