So you got dumped... should you post your breakup deets online?
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What should you do if you get dumped?
Hello, hello. I'm Brittany Luce, and you're listening to It's Been a Minute from NPR, a show about what's going on in culture and why it doesn't happen by accident. Let's say you've been dating someone for a while. You think things are going well. You go on a trip together and And their ex is at the same resort by coincidence. You gotta be kidding me. Your partner and their ex run off together. You're heartbroken. Sad, right? Do you post a story about this? Maybe a TikTok or Instagram? I don't know. Do you share the details online? What would you do?
Oh my God. Well, first of all, this is like the saddest situation. I hate this for me. But okay, I know exactly what I would do. Okay. I would have not one margarita, I would have like 12 margaritas. And then I would post probably something to my close friends on Instagram being like, what the . And then when I was sober the next morning, I would delete that and then not post for like a year and only text with a core group of friends until I was ready to emerge Phoenix-like back onto everyone's timelines better than ever and glowed up.
Did you hear that? It's the sound of cuffing season. The time of year where the weather cools down and folks look for a warm body to cuddle up with. But we're getting into some of the less warm and fuzzy aspects of dating. For the next couple of weeks on It's Been a Minute, we're kicking off cuffing season with some of the big questions and big debates about dating. This week, a lot of us have seen how explosive breakup stories have been on social media. From Risa T says, who the F did I marry? Hi and welcome. We all know why you're here. You're here for part of the new series that I'm calling Who the F? Did I marry? To Spritely, a.k.a. Texas Breakup Girl, and her TikTok breakup hit.
Is it okay to post breakup details online?
Imagine you live in L.A. with your boyfriend and everything's going amazing till he says, babe, I want to move back to Texas to be closer to my dad.
But we want to know, is it okay to post breakup details online? We asked people on the street to hear what they had to say.
I just think it's messy. I think it can come back to haunt you. Even if it's something really egregious, I would feel embarrassed posting it.
I'm personally and very much the kind of person that will keep our relationship private. I mean, I eat the s*** up, though.
Clearly, breakup posting is a contentious subject. So I am thrilled to welcome Molly McPherson, crisis PR expert, and Rebecca Jennings, senior correspondent at Vox. Excited to be here to talk about this topic. Thank you so much for having us. We're going to get into what people actually get out of posting their breakup deets online. And we ask, what's the line between a juicy story and an invasion of privacy?
Is it ever okay to post breakup details online? In my opinion, you have every right to make art out of your pain. And if your art is posting, I love that for you. So I will never, ever censor someone's freedom to post whatever they want, even if it means blowing up their life. Now, the thing, you know, as someone who writes about the internet is I will tell you is that if it's really dramatic and if it's really messy, that will leave your circle and you might become the internet's main character. And if you want to do that, if you're ready to do that is a question that's up to you.
What are the consequences of sharing breakup stories?
Yeah. Being the main character, that's not something I would necessarily choose for myself. No. Not at this point in my life. I don't need to stress. What do you think, Molly? Is it ever okay to post breakup details online?
Well, social media nowadays is part of the modern breakup toolkit, if you will. As someone who looks at these case studies online and And I see messy breakups and what they do to a personal reputation. I mean, of course, it wouldn't be advisable every time. However, there's a very compelling reason why Gen Z in particular, I think, likes to do it is it's used as a coping mechanism. It's very hard to keep pain inside. So generationally, where we might do this over crying over drinks with friends, it's the same thing for Gen Z. Their comfort is in their community and sharing it online. So if they can do it in a way that helps them cope and gives them a way to heal through it, then it could be a positive thing. Yeah.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What should you do if you get dumped?
0:02–2:25
2
Is it okay to post breakup details online?
2:25–4:14
3
What are the consequences of sharing breakup stories?
4:14–6:28
4
How does social media influence modern breakups?
6:28–8:45
5
What are the ethical considerations of breakup posting?
8:45–11:59
6
How do celebrity breakups impact everyday people?
11:59–18:27