Chapter 1: What frustrations do the hosts express about parking issues?
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, and brown-triots, and all of the people that sit around and support this fleabag, Kankles McTacoTits can do what, Pumps? Fuck off! Pumps, what have you had it with?
Okay, what I've had it with is when people park directly behind my driveway. If you park behind my driveway, you have over a 40% chance that I'm gonna ram in to the side of your car. I've done it three times to my neighbor and I'm like, obviously I'm at fault, but it's like, you assumed the risk. You parked your car back there. It happened to me this morning.
I'm pulling out, my car like throws me into whiplash. It breaks so hard because there's a fucking car sitting right where I pull out of my driveway. The whole street's empty. Every single piece of street is available to this person. Makes me so fucking mad.
Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about unsolicited texts from restaurants?
I just want to go like slam their tires with a crowbar or something. Or I guess the windshield with the crowbar, a needle with the tire. Whose car is it? I have no idea. I have no idea who it is.
Let me get this straight. Like your driveway, it's parked in the road where it's impeding your ability. Why don't you call a tow truck?
Well, I don't know. I didn't even think about that. I didn't think about a tow truck. I know it used to be my neighbors. After three times having to get their car fixed, they figured out, just put it in your driveway. But I don't know who this person is. My guess is that somebody that's at my house spending the night with Luke, if I'm guessing.
Chapter 3: What is the impact of mass texting on personal interactions?
But I don't know. But a tow truck, that's a great idea.
That's kind of a genius. So you think it's your son Luke's friend impeding the driveway. It's a guest at your home. I think, but I'm not sure because they were upstairs and I never saw them. That kind of changes things. Then that burden goes on. Yeah, then that burden goes on Luke to be a good caretaker of his driveway.
Well, it's just, it's time for Luke to go back to school. He's been home like five weeks. It's time for him to... to go back and be a college student again i'm just everybody's gone you just get so you had it with luke had it with luke and i love it but it's like it's time to go home that is so funny okay let me tell you what i've had it with okay lay it on me you go to a restaurant
Pretty crowded, but you can see there's two or three tables available. You don't have a reservation, but this isn't the type of restaurant that you really would make a reservation.
Chapter 4: What experiences do the hosts share about growing up in evangelical culture?
So you get up to the hostess stand, and you know, in my opinion, hostess stands are over complicated. They've added a lot of people, a lot of steps that don't need to be there, but that's another episode entirely. The hostess says, we have a three to four minute wait, or maybe a five to 10 minute wait. Can I get your phone number? So I'm like, yeah, here's my phone number.
And then they said, okay, we'll text you when your table's ready. Great. So get the table a few minutes later, eat. Everything's great. Everything was perfect. The wait was only five to 10 minutes. Got a great table, got a booth. Of course, I'm not a nut that sit on the same side of the booth with my husband. We sit opposite sides because we're not freaks. And, um,
Chapter 5: How do the hosts discuss the concept of purity culture?
leave about five days later the restaurant violates uh the um we'll text you when we get your table when your table's ready and they start texting me
yeah yeah they're texting like wouldn't it be great to come back for lunch and try our lunch special yak yak blah blah and then i get another text a couple of days later and this is just this these unsolicited emails that have now morphed into unsolicited texts that have morphed into spam calls where people get your information and force the capitalism upon you i'm all for
regulated capitalism that keeps people safe. And I'm talking about regulated people, not the Trump corporate dim style, like a real safe market for us to be in.
like good shit i get it what i don't like is forced capitalism where it's forced upon you if i want to go eat at a restaurant i want that to be my decision right i want to decide to do it if i want to go shopping for a piece of furniture or an item of clothing i don't want your business to email me about it i want it to be my decision the constant
terrorism through our devices after they've mined our information to schlep their on us i've completely had it and then like now i'm at the point with my cell phone where i hate this number because this phone number is associated with a bunch of there's a bunch of people that have this phone number that i wish didn't have it there's a bunch of people businesses that have this phone number that harass me the same goes for my email address
So I think I'm going to go off the grid. I think I'm going to go get a new phone number and I'm going to get a new email address and only going to give both of these things to like five people.
Here's the thing. I will just make this argument. Yours is one of the few phone numbers that I have memorized because I knew you before you just put the name in. So I would really be sad if you got a new number because I actually know it. Number two, that might be a new thing because I've given my phone number before and I haven't gotten follow up texts.
So this is just the next wave of harassment by these people. But I'll tell you what, I would never go back to that restaurant again because they violated what the custom was.
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Chapter 6: What are the hosts' views on accountability in politics?
You want to text me when the table's ready? Great. That doesn't mean I want you to remind me five days later to come eat there.
I really like their salads. I really, really like their salads. They're really, really good. Really pisses me off that they engage in making both great salads efficient hostess stand. Waitress was 10 out of 10. And then as a side hustle, they're into text terrorism. And I just, I'm just beside myself. Like don't text me about your restaurant when I'm not in the restaurant.
Like I'm trying to get less text messages. I'm trying to get this device to go off less. I want less interactions on this device.
Chapter 7: What grievances do listeners express about social obligations?
I gave you my cell phone number because I thought, well, that makes sense. I don't have to carry around one of those vibrators around as big circling things in the restaurant that goes off here. This will go. Oh, that's great. Text me when my table's ready. I'm into it. It's a bait and switch. It was a ruse for their later onslaught of texting terrorism.
And it was calculated, I bet. I bet they knew going in, we're going to file this number away and we're going to get her again. But I will say, I have noticed with like people that I perceive to be really cool, mostly like millennial age, they always have two phones. So that would be a sign of- I think you're going to be cool. You're going to be cool. I mean, I think that kind of makes you cool.
Like smoking did in the 90s.
Chapter 8: How do the hosts plan to address personal grievances moving forward?
But I think what I'm going to do just for spite moving forward, I've already started doing this with retail stores. When you go up, they'll say, we need your email address. I'm like, I don't want to give my email address. Well, then you won't have the receipt. Like if you need to exchange it, I'm like, I'm not going to exchange it. I do not want, I just want to purchase this item.
I don't want any record of it that it was me. I just want to purchase it anonymously. I want to anonymously purchase these leggings. That's all I want to do. that's all i want to do is anonymously purchase so i've been really like standing my ground on anonymous purchasing and i think the next time i'm at a hostess stand and they say we need your phone number I'm going to say, I'm sorry.
I don't get my phone number out. Right. And then the post is, is going to be like, you know, it's not her problem. She's making minimum wage or he. And so I don't want to be a bitch to them, but I'm gonna say, I'm sorry. I just don't get my phone number out. And then they're going to, you know, hamster's going to start running. What are we supposed to do when your table's ready? Right.
Going to have to come find me because I'm not giving you my phone number because the last time. I gave you my phone number and this is probably a conversation I have with your manager, not you. You started texting me like we were friends about your lunch specials. And I don't want to participate in texting with robots. I can't do that.
I don't want robots auto texting me a very unoriginal message that goes out to thousands of other suckers that gave their phone number out. And I don't want to be a part of it. I want no part of this texting terrorism.
I kind of think that's a good rule. Like, I don't want a part of any mass texting. I don't want a part of any mass emailing. Anything you're going to do in mass, leave me out. I want no part of it.
Bulk mail. I mean, you still get all that snail mail. Bulk mail. Put a sock in it. Put a sock in it. I can't take it anymore. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I am Jennifer. I'm Angie, HBIC, B for beaver. Kylie is here. Kylie, there she is. Hello. There she is. What's been going on on the World Wide Web?
I've got two incredible reviews for you. This one is five stars. And Kels Echo and Ash writes, Thank God it's not just me. I've had it is the podcast equivalent of exhaling after holding your breath for, checks notes, several decades. Jennifer and Pumps articulate the rage, absurdity, and deep exhaustion of existing in the modern world with a precision that feels almost illegal.
Every episode makes me laugh, nod aggressively, and think, oh, thank God it's not just me. What I love most is that they don't just complain, they validate. They name the nonsense, roast it lovingly or not, and somehow make you feel lighter afterward. Their voices matter, their perspectives matter, and honestly, they make the internet feel survivable. Wow.
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