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Chapter 1: Who are the hosts and what is the podcast about?
Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast. I think we should retire the eagle. You do? Yeah. I think the eagle has to be retired and here's why. Okay. We have flirted with the beaver becoming our mascot. It's the mascot of Canada. And that was my next point was that Canadians tend to be fighting for America more than MAGA is fighting for America.
And I do think the eagle is an attractive bird, a more interesting bird than like a sparrow. But I don't I feel like we need to retire it and just go all in on beaver. I kind of like the beaver. Yeah, I do too.
I like it. I like the whole ha-ha-ha beavers. We're the beavers. Pumps, what have you had it with? I've had it with everything. I've had it with 15 years of Botox and now I have bruises on my face when I'm getting recorded. I've had it that my dog attacked another dog and every time I walk the dog, I have to worry about the dog. I've had it with my voice. I've had it with your voice.
Chapter 2: What are the hosts frustrated with in everyday life?
I've had it with the fact that they're building a bike lane on the road I come to work in. I've just had it. Everybody's fucking with everything all the time. I'm sick of it. In Trump's America, everything is worse.
I am happy about that bike lane because these bikers – the other day, Roman and I were driving and going to lunch together, and there was a biker at the intersection who And everybody was stopped and it was stopped at a red light, not hugged over to the curb. And Roman goes, is the biker pretending to be a car? And I said, yeah, that's exactly what's going on right there.
Chapter 3: What is the debate about bike lanes and biking culture?
Roman is that bike is pretending that it's a car stopped at the red light in the center lane, knowing that it's never going to have the juice to cross this intersection that a vehicle is going to have. And so I know what bike lanes you're talking about. And I'm like, Good. Now we know where they're going to be. They'll have their own lane. We have our own lane.
They can quit trying to pretend like they're cars. I'm all for bikers having bike lanes.
I am too, but just not on the street I drive. Everything is about me and my world, and that bugs the fuck out of me. I'm just like, we have a thousand different lanes you can do. If I saw somebody riding their bike like a car, I probably would go full Karen. I might just lose my damn mind. That's where I am today.
I mean, I might get out of the car and run up and push him off the bike and just be like, get out of those stupid pants.
First of all. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's difficult to be an American right now. It is. It's really difficult that there's a huge portion of the country that... has excused just criminal behavior from Trump and the crackheads in his cabinet. It's gross. They're gross. The whole thing is just... We're gross by proxy because we live here. We're fucked. The whole thing is very gross.
OK, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with my iPhone updating the camera roll for years. For years, the camera roll was one particular way. I knew how to operate it that add a little update where then you could enter dog in the search and then all the images of your dog popped up or you could enter. The other day I was looking for an image of my son's.
with a former NBA Thunder basketball player named Tabo Cephalosha. And he used to live a couple of streets away from us when he played for the Thunder and he walked down the street one day and I took a picture of them. So I put in my iPhone kids on street with tall man, you know, and it can pop up. So that's a great added feature.
Now it's like the photos that used to be at the top or at the bottom and the bottom or at the top. And it, it, it's completely disorganized. And I don't know if a lot of people at Apple are doing ketamine with musk and then rolling out these updates, but it is not an improvement. It's made the camera feature worse. It's not a betterment of the camera roll.
Well, didn't Tim Cook come out and support Trump? He sure did. Okay, there's your answer. Everything's worse in Trump's America. Everything. People get stupid, dumber.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about technology updates and Apple products?
Kylie, what's going on on the World Wide Web? I've got a couple of really important reviews that I'm going to read you today. We have an update from the prom date that you turned down, Angie. Okay.
Okay.
He says, I'm really putting myself out there right now. But hold your cringe for one second. Since your flippant rejection of my first offer, I have been crafting a rebuttal. Pumps the Pod has not been the same since you crushed my heart. I haven't listened for a couple weeks because your voice just hurts to hear anywhere but the other end of my telephone.
Can provide background checks and references. Bring your own chaperones. You get the hotel rooms. I'll cover the limos. April 26th. A blue dot in a sea of Midwest red, but a safe space. I've been watching Suits to try and understand the complicated needs and emotions women of the law experience. Stop running from a good dude. In reality and in big dick energy, I drive a hybrid.
Educated but not a dick. Eagerly anticipating your counter offer. I also have a field trip to Europe this May slash June.
Well, that's a... I mean, I'll tell you what. These men are on you like a tick on a dog. You got that DJ out there in Brooklyn. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's on you like a tick on a dog. And then we got this guy wants to take you to the prom. And I'm sure now that he knows you're going by Beaver...
That makes it more enticing.
It just exacerbates his desire for you.
That really is sweet. Really sweet. So it's still a no? I'll think about it. I hate it that he hasn't listened though. I hate that. Do you see what you're doing?
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Chapter 5: What is the story behind the 'prayer receipts' and religion in medicine?
Chapter 6: What are the dating dilemmas and prom date stories shared?
Oh my gosh, I haven't even told you this. Okay, so I got a new TV and the people came out to install the TV. And afterwards, I'm signing the documents, whatever, because I didn't stay. And he wrote on the deal, I want you to know, I really love your podcast. It was great meeting you. And I texted back and I said, oh my gosh, you just don't hear that that much in Oklahoma City. Thank you so much.
He was like, yeah, you wouldn't believe all the houses I go into where it's Fox News playing. I can hardly stand it.
How about that? Yeah, you know, there... A city like ours is purple. And when you get – when people have – when they get it and they get how fucking crazy MAGA is and just what a harebrained, weird cult it is where you've got like one of Trump's preachers, spiritual advisors, that's now been arrested for sexually abusing a 12-year-old. And then you've got him letting out the Tate brothers.
And you have all these big evangelicals that are like, oh, my God, yeah, I voted for Trump because he's a Christian. It's just like when you – I guess you have to be just double digit IQ and a dipshit and then in a cult and then you're all in on it. But if you don't get it, there's such a camaraderie and going, can you believe these fucking assholes? Right.
You know, there's just a camaraderie to humiliating these people behind their backs.
Yeah. No, I completely agree. But I thought that was nice. It's very nice. And surprising. He said all his co-workers were.
don't they're not mega they'll hate mega i was shocked that's great that's great news that's great news for democracy um okay kylie i believe that we did a call to action on our here podcast, DEI podcast, that we wanted a DEI jingle.
Yes.
I think we've had a lot of people submit them. I know that Robbie from Australia, our top Australian correspondent, sent me some AI jingles to my Instagram. I wouldn't know how to retrieve them or download them, but they were pretty good. I was pretty impressed with the robot.
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Chapter 7: How do texting habits relate to emotional availability?
Chapter 8: What health and relationship studies are discussed?
Like you were home eight days and you didn't exercise at all, except for walk up to your room and walk down the stairs from your room. And it just, it, the lack of exercise, it's something that's probably more about me, but I'm just like, we have to move our bodies.
Yeah. And they just all their interaction for young people, all those young kids. It is. It's all they can't really talk to like other people. And they can't exercise apparently now. Can't run very fast. Okay, Kylie, what do we have today?
Voice memos? We've got voice memos today. Excellent. And up first, we're going to listen to Erin.
Hi, Jen. Hi, Pumps. My name is Aaron and I live in West Texas, which is one of the reddest areas in Texas. What I have had it with is people saying, I will pray for you or I'm praying for you or I'll keep you in my prayers. Are you, motherfucker? I want a motherfucking receipt of saying that you're going to be praying for me.
I want you to sit down on your knees or whatever the fuck you do with your hands up, and I want a video of you praying for me. I think we should start asking for prayer receipts. That's what the fuck I want.
anyways bye for those of you that don't live in the bible belt this is ubiquitous i'm praying for you prayers up it's a god thing blah blah it drives me insane it's so bad i probably told this story before on the podcast i don't know if i have it i'll tell you guys again So my mother, total atheist, I mean, completely sees people that are religious fanatics as intellectually weak. All right.
So that's the breeding grounds for my disdain with religion. I come by it honestly. So my youngest son, my oldest son, Dylan, when he was little, had chronic ear infections. And Josh was, of course, in one of his rehab stands, but that's neither here nor there. And I'm just desperate to get sleep. I'm desperate for his ears to be cleaned up. And to get in with an ENT is difficult for a toddler.
So we go to this guy and I go in the waiting room and I'm so desperate and I'm sitting in the waiting room and I'm like, oh my God, the only thing on the coffee tables in this doctor's office are Bibles. Yeah. And then he has Billy Graham posters as the artwork. And I'm just like, where the fuck am I? How is this person a scientist? How did he make it through medical school?
And I'm like starting in the bargaining stage. Like this other guy was a month long. I don't think I can go that many sleepless nights. This guy could get me in. No wonder he could get me in. You know, I'm going through all this stuff. And so I go, I go and he sees, he's like, we need to put tubes in and I have an opening tomorrow. And I'm like, oh shit. So I'm like, you know, we're just going.
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Chapter 9: What are the sponsors and promotions mentioned in the episode?
And then all these people start hurting it and like, oh, prayers answered all this. And I responded in the group text in front of all your fucking diehard Christian friends. I'm so grateful for modern science. You can ask him. Some of your nieces and stuff were in that. And it was like prayer hand emojis and all this shit. And the more I saw, just the more disgusting I've gotten.
I'm so grateful for modern science. Like none of that had anything to do with religion. And also, called you princess in the first sentence of a 53-person group text. I'm not saying you are or you aren't.
How about all the unnecessary medical detail?
Does that surprise anybody?
No. I mean, you could not even imagine the hypochondria.
You know what? I'll tell you what. You should start, after you go to the nude camp, you should start teaching a class on how not to pick a husband. I'm not saying I'm great, but you're better.
No. I have always said parents should pay me to meet their future spouse. I'm really good at women, but like men, terrible.
Okay. Interesting, Beaver. She's really good at women. Well, but I mean, I have good... Kylie, what does that sound like to you? Does that sound gay?
A lesbian.
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