Why Finding Love Feels Harder Than Ever, #614

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Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex 54 min 2 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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Why do many young adults think they can “snap” into marriage by their late‑20s?

Dr. Brad Wilcox 0:01
A lot of my students at UVA kind of have this idea that they can hit about twenty-seven or twenty-eight, kind of snap their fingers and find their perfect person, and then get married around thirty. That's kind of their plan. But as I've been speaking to sort of twenty somethings and thirty somethings now in this current culture, I think that that plan is Deeply flawed.
Dr. Juli Slattery 0:26
Hey friends, thanks for joining me for Job with Julie. I'm Julie Slattery and I'm really glad you're here. We've got something a little bit different for you today. A few months ago I was invited to record a job with Julie episode at Malone University. That's a Christian university here in my hometown of Akron, Ohio. They were hosting Dr. Brad Wilcox for a few days of events and suggested that I interview him in front of a live audience of students. Dr. Brad Wilcox is the director of the National Marriage Project, and their goal is to provide research and analysis on how marriage is doing in the United States. They look at the social and cultural factors that influence relationships today and find ways to help marriages be stronger and last longer.
Dr. Juli Slattery 1:13
Brad wrote a book recently called Just Simply Get Married. It's a fascinating uh compilation of research and application to that to real life dating and relationships. In this conversation, Brad and I talked about why, despite all of the freedom and options people have today, so many of us are struggling to find lasting love. If modern dating feels chaotic, then this conversation may give you a framework to understand why and what you can do differently. And if you're not in the dating world right now, this is a conversation you're still going to want to listen to as it explains some of the landscape that we're living in today. So let's head to Malone University this time for my conversation with Dr.
Dr. Juli Slattery 1:55
Brad Wilcox.
Dr. Juli Slattery 2:07
Thank you, and it is so awesome to have you all with us today. Um we are going to do some conversation around um is it okay if I call you Brad? Yes. All right, Brad's research and his passion. Uh, but I would really like the second part of our conversation to start getting practical of what do we do with this research. And I'm so thankful for the students, the young adults in this room. Who are the boots on the ground of okay, what does this look like in real life for us? So please uh take advantage of that QR code. I don't want to guess your questions, I want to hear your questions. So would like to be able to voice those in our conversation. Um but Brad, thank you so much for being willing to be here tonight.
Dr. Juli Slattery 2:47
And thank you even more so for the academic rigor and the work that you're doing to support What's behind marriage and why it's just not a concept that we want to say is great, but there's actually research behind it. So I have to ask, is this something that you sort of fell into over the years or did this passion for marriage come from a deeper place?
Dr. Brad Wilcox 3:11
Yeah, thanks, Julie. It's good to be here tonight. Uh no, I was uh raised by a single mom and I hit college and kind of looked around and was talking to some professors. I was uh actually fortunate to have two Christian professors, my first year at UVA, my fourth year at UVA, who kind of steered me in a more kind of culturally conservative uh religious direction. And kind of both through their example and then sort of my own life story kind of was. thinking about the ways in which dads were important for kids and that marriage was kind of the institution that connected, you know, on average men to their children. So that was kind of like the genesis for my interest in. in studying marriage uh and family kind of came from my my personal biography and then kind of the the influence and example of two professors.
Dr. Juli Slattery 3:54
Wow. So you were around the ages of the college students here today when you you made some of those decisions. I I I think our assumption is, particularly in American culture, that academia is more liberal and the research being done and what's being taught in the classroom Is more a liberal bent.

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