Change Your Mindset ft. Mel Robbins
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What is the key to changing your life?
I believe you are one decision away from a different life.
But why do you think that's so hard for people to understand? Why are we giving the worst to the people that we love the most?
I know for a fact that it was her who sold this to the media. You can always leave any relationship, any dining room table, any text chain. You're not stuck. That's a lie you tell yourself. I hope you know how many lives you've changed.
Why is it hard for people to change?
Oh, no. You can, too. this is more than a show it's a window into my world and the stories that make it meaningful welcome to chloe in wonderland number one so honored and thankful that you agreed to do this podcast with me i've seen videos and interviews of you from years and years ago. And so the years that you have been this person and yes, there's been growth and evolution, but you've never lost sight of who you are authentically. And that I'm so in love with.
Well, I think I have lost sight of who I am. And For most of my life, I really struggled. I mean, whether it was crippling anxiety or having ADHD and not knowing or dyslexia and not knowing. And so it wasn't until I hit my 40s and I got myself into a situation, and we all find ourselves in these situations in life where the life that you thought you were going to have is not the one that you're in. And for me, what that meant is my husband and I found ourselves $800,000 in debt, three kids under the age of 10, friends and family had invested in the business. And I had never had a vision for my life of being an alcoholic. or getting divorced or not being able to get out of bed. I mean, Chloe, it got to the point where I would I was the kind of person that would literally lay in bed and hit the snooze button four or five times a morning. And I was hung over and I would lay in that bed and I would stare at the ceiling and I would think about the problems and I would think about how much I hated my husband. and how ashamed I was at where we are in life.
And my kids would be standing next to the bed. And they were the reason why I would finally get up. And then of course, when I got up, oh my gosh, it wasn't like I was some like, hmm, kind of person. I'm like, ah, screaming at them. And so they start their mornings like this. And how can you expect your kids to have a good day at school if they start with you screaming at them? And
Yeah.
And for me, that kind of defining moment in my life came on a Tuesday morning in February in 2008. Wow. And I woke up like I had for six months in a row. And the anxiety was pinning me to the bed like a gravity blanket. And, you know... I knew I needed to get up. I knew I needed to look for a job. I knew I needed to ask for help. I knew I needed to tell my friends what was going on. But have you ever been in a situation in your life where you know what you need to do, but you just can't make yourself do it?
Of course. I remember I was married and my ex-husband died. had a drug addiction and I knew that his addiction always heightened. He was in the NBA and I knew his addiction always heightened when he had his off season because idle time is the devil's playground. Right. And so I remember he was asked to go, I think, to Team USA, if I remember correctly. And I was begging, please, please go to Team USA. And I was pushing. And I remember he just looked at me and said, you can't want it more than I do. And Even though we've done rehabs and this. Because you could fake it. You go to rehab for 45 days just to appease everyone else, get them off my back. But if you're not doing it for you. But I remember when he said, you can't want it more than me.
He's like, do you want to suit up? Because you can't suit up. And I don't want it. And I remember I was like... It was so profound. It's so silly because I know that. But I wanted it so badly because I wanted to help him and to feel the motivation and feel good. But he just wasn't in that place. And I just was like, I know. I know what I need to do. And it took me a long time to get to then I had to file for divorce. But that came after. But that was a very pivotal moment in my life because I remember that statement being the first one that I was like, yeah. I can't want it more than you. I can't want your life more than you.
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