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Chapter 1: What are the expectations on mothers sharing motherhood online?
Listener. KickPod acknowledges the traditional owners and custodians of the land in which we're recording this podcast. The Yulukit Wulan clan of the Boomerong, who are a part of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to our elders, past and present, and extend our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
Welcome to the KickPod, a DNM with your besties on the stuff that matters.
One, two, three, four.
Hello. Hi.
How are you today, Steffi?
I am swell. Can I ask you? Yes. How are you since having your tarts out, you rude, rude human, on your own podcast and posting it? Like, how are you going with that? Do you want to hide them a bit more today? Honestly, what's wrong with people? What is wrong with people?
And for anyone that doesn't know what Steph is talking about, I'm very glad you asked, because I had to bring it up. It was so funny last night. Well, I don't know if it's funny. It was frustrating, but sometimes you just have to laugh at these trolls and the way that they approach the world.
Because also, in the commentary, which you will get to, there was a lot of really beautiful, positive... opposite opinions.
Yes, exactly. And what you're talking about, Steffi, is we, a couple of weeks ago, an episode of Kick Bump came out with Jolson and I and we did a segment on, thank you, we did a segment on balancing or a part of it was on balancing the load. And so that's what the video was about. But in the video, I was breastfeeding because we didn't have anyone to look after Atlas. We were both there.
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Chapter 2: How did Laura's views on sharing motherhood change after having a child?
So the way it was going to get done was on your boob. And it happened to be the best part that we wanted to make a social snip out of. So just get... Anyway, continue with his comment. I agree.
And do you know what? When Lynn sent me the video that was cut for the, because as you said, after the episode, we sit down and we say, what's the best video snippet for this? And you hear it. Exactly. And then we listen. Maybe we thought that part. Yeah. I didn't know. I could not remember the fact I was breastfeeding at that time.
Because again, it is just, for me, it's a normal thing that I feed my child when he needs to be calm or if he's hungry. Yeah. My boob is not a sexual object in that, but sometimes it's hard for people not to say that. And so there was one chap in particular called Chain So Big, and I feel like... Oh, my God. Chain So Big. Do you think Chain So... Do you think it's referring to something...
Like a penis?
I don't know. Or is it like maybe he needs to hold people down? I don't know. I think we put too much thought into it. We do.
Let's not. I don't know. Who cares? It doesn't matter. But also, if that's your Instagram handle, I feel like you are a troll. Anyway, he said, I know this is brave and stunning and all. Also, number one, me feeding my child. It's not brave. I agree. I was just feeding my child.
Wait, wait, wait. It's not brave. However, if you are a woman who has felt really uncomfortable about this and then one day you were like, fuck it, and you yourself felt brave in that moment, I don't want to take that away from you. I agree.
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Chapter 3: What was Laura's reaction to online trolling about breastfeeding?
Actually, yes.
I think that's a very good point, Steph, because I do think that breastfeeding, especially at the start if you are breastfeeding, it is really difficult to do. Yeah. Because you and your baby have to like learn how to work together, the latching, et cetera. You're still working out what tops are best to do. Exactly.
And it is, it can be quite overwhelming and you have to build, I had to build confidence doing it in public. So I actually understand the brave comment, except I think this was said in a way of like, I'm posting it because I want to show everyone that I am brave. Okay. And then he said, but I've also been around children for Do you want a medal? Well done. You've been around a child?
Well done.
Well, you should have a parenting award. Like you're not a parent, but I have been around a child. Okay. They don't need to be fed 247. So I was like, when there's spelling errors or grammatical errors, like everyone live your life, but in a troll, I will point them out.
Yeah, that's fair. I will point them right out.
Yes. They don't need to be fed 24-7. Is it possible that you could feed your baby and then do a podcast five minutes later and keep your titties in? Or do you just have to be brave and show everybody, lol, and then I'm the arsehole looking lol? Yeah, you are. Just fucking, even if you think in it, don't write it, dude.
But as you said... That's on you, mate.
You... Exactly. It is on... If you can't look at me breastfeeding without sexualising me, you need to do some work on yourself. That is not my problem, number one. Number two, no, I couldn't have done the podcast five minutes later because Jane's so big. His name makes us met up. It's just great. But I actually, the podcast recording went for over an hour. Yeah. Also, he's four months old.
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Chapter 4: How do societal pressures affect mothers' online presence?
But this is a very silly comment. So I was full for, like, go for your life and reply to chain so big.
Yeah, yeah. And it's also, like, he's not... It's not, you know, I think it's a bit different when like the comment from him is, as you said, we're at a point where we can kind of laugh about it. Like we don't, it's not nice, but we can laugh about it. It's not like full rage, like manifest shit that we like completely don't say out. You know what I mean?
Like, so I feel like it's a bit different if you're like your community is... We're not sending anyone. No, absolutely not. We're just replying in a thread.
And they are being just as comical, which is hilarious.
Correct.
And this comment, this is the one that got the thread, which I was like, go off community. We love you guys. He said, imagine a guy did this because he was in a rush. He was in a rush.
He just had to film a podcast with his penis out. That was the most rogue comment because why the fuck would you need to get your penis out in a podcast? Like, I'm sorry, do you feed anything with your dick? No. Like, shut up. That tells you everything, right? That tells you that he only sees tits as sexual things. That tells you everything.
To think that his dick is in the same light as your breastfeeding boobies is dumb. So dumb. I also loved a lot of the comments back to that comment.
I just think for a lot of guys, they can't get their dick out of their head. They can't get their penis out of their head. And so that is why that is what came to mind as the first response to me breastfeeding in a podcast. Equality, Laura. Equality. My child.
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Chapter 5: What insights were shared about Margot Robbie's public motherhood perception?
I know we can't look into the future, but I just don't think I can say 100% hands down there will not be an episode where we ask someone to get a dick on the kick pad. No.
Period. You know, we're all for TMI. We're all for TMI. I've seen your vagina, you've seen mine, but we're not even about to do that on camera. Like, there's a difference, guys.
We're not flopping penises onto the desk on the kick pad. Not flopping.
Flopping.
Yep. Cool. I can't. I'm dead. No, it's all right. It's all right. Anyway, there's just, it's a lot. Okay. Now, this segment they're about to go into, honestly, we probably could talk about for like five hours. Don't have five hours. But we're really passionate about it. And I'm sure a lot of you guys will be too. And you might have already seen some chatter about it online.
But where I first came across it was Shameless. did a episode. It was their Monday, April 13th episode. Highly recommend going and listening back to it. But the episode was called Margot Robbie and Unmarked Motherhood. And it was basically off the back of a Courier Mail article that called Margot Robbie, called Margot Robbie out basically, stop pretending you're not a mum. I'm already angry.
And what I think, it was really, really, I think their conversation is great, so please go and listen. But I had so many of my own thoughts. I know you do too. And Laws, I am particularly curious to know how you feel about this whole thing of how society expects mums to show up online, whether or not there's evidence, how much they show their kids, etc.,
Your perspective now being a new mum and if it's different to maybe before you were even pregnant, I know you, I mean, you obviously follow me, but I know you follow a lot of people online who have gone into motherhood. They all have very different habits of sharing kids, not sharing kids, being really private with names and stuff, not... Have your thoughts changed? Yes, they have. So much.
And I am so excited to talk to you about this because I... I mean, there is a lot. There's a lot to unpack here. Would you want to start with my thoughts?
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Chapter 6: How do personal experiences shape views on motherhood content?
And I think for us it is very different because we share all of our lives online.
Yes.
Our personal lives, like literally we talk about our sex lives. Like I feel like there is not much. ADHD diagnosis.
We do not share.
You're not sure you want kids. Like there's so much we share.
Exactly.
And I think for me, when I first, I think the reason that maybe before I had kids, I 100%, and I've said this to you so many times, I did not want motherhood to become a pillar of my content. Yeah, I remember you saying that.
Because when we talk about our, if you have a kind of Instagram page or whatever it might be, and you usually have content pillars and you kind of post within those pillars, Steph and I have always struggled to stay within the pillars because I feel like we share our- It's always been so fucking broad. Well, we always share our whole lives. And so we go through different stages.
And I think it is something, and it's been something that interestingly for both of us, I feel like it has been very hard for us to get very clear on those pillars because we evolve and our content evolves with us. So does the community.
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Chapter 7: What challenges do mothers face in balancing work and motherhood?
I was going to ask you this. If I posted motherhood content.
So I know you weren't necessarily seeking motherhood content. Yes. But any creators that you love or celebrities that you love that have gone into motherhood and have become a mum and maybe have shared necessarily more. Yes. Did you feel like detached? Did you like maybe not even really like following them anymore?
No, do you know what? When I think about it, so the content I at the time didn't connect with was people that their whole content was motherhood. Like the entire thing was about parenting, like parenting... Then maybe they had a certain category they... Well, that was their entire content. And it was like recommendations for dummies and how to burp and all those things.
Like that to me, I was just like, I don't need to learn this right now. That's not for me. But you, for example, or like other people that I follow that are also parents and... motherhood content is a pillar, a part of it, I didn't, like it didn't really... Okay, it didn't put you off.
No, definitely not. Because I think that's part of the conversation though is that people, and I think that's why I have a problem with people having an opinion on what mothers choose to do, is outside of it being a very private thing and her always being very private with her public, sorry, private life and that's like her prerogative,
There's also nothing wrong with it also being a tactical thing if she... Like, I don't think that's on her that she might have made the decision to be tactical, like some creators might, in not just doing it for the privacy of her family, but also wanting to stay relatable to this community that they've spent years building.
Because not everyone, as you said, you didn't necessarily disconnect from creators who who then went and had children. But not everyone would feel the same way. Some people, especially I think people who maybe don't see parenthood at all in their future, like at all. might be like, oh, okay, I don't relate.
And we hear this a lot from the community even in their friendships, like when their friends go through motherhood and like can't necessarily relate. So I think that's interesting.
But I could also look at that content. Like if someone posted something, like you might have posted something specific to parenting and I would be like, okay, that's not for me.
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Chapter 8: How can sharing motherhood experiences benefit the community?
Totally.
A lot of the press that we get is actually about our life.
Yeah.
So I feel like if we took out having a child from our life. Exactly right. So it's very different. Yeah. But I do think that is probably one of the biggest reasons that I was so against, like forcefully against. Like the thought of, yeah.
Having motherhood content a part of my content because of the fear that a lot of people can't separate, relate to me, but also just will put me in a box that I don't want to be put in. Motherhood is a hat that I wear because I want to be more than one thing. Like I am more than one thing. And I think I can look at you and see you as so many things.
And also, I'm sure so many of our listeners can also do that. But I do think as a society, we, with mothers, put them in one box. Yeah. I am a mother that is one of my hats. I am so proud of that. It is so important to me. Yeah. However, I wear a lot of other hats.
Yeah.
And so I think my fear was if I put the motherhood hat on in my content, that would be the only hat that I would be able to wear. And I also think from a society, like obviously there's a societal, like from working on Instagram and things, but also like in the workplace and things, we treat, like there is so much discrimination against women who have kids.
A lot of it's really interesting, like a lot of the women that I know that have had very, that I've had conversations with and in particular going into having, like thinking about having kids, a lot of the women that have like executive roles that I spoke to, I actually didn't know they had, so I have relationships with them.
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